Stupid mistakes lead to a broken heart
by iloveyoulikethestarsabove
Summary: Max is sixteen and out of control and for that she has her parents to thank that is until she meets Fang a new comer to private school but somethings are better left unsaid and unknown for different people. Some have secrets they need to share but won't.
1. Let the Games Begin!

**A/N :** I'd be lying if i said i knew how this story would end but i have a rough idea in my head but it could end up changing after all it's only the start. please read and review and tell me what you think.

**preface**

Each second i wasted i was losing him and for that matter myself and now look at me alone, I sat on the edge of a window sill watching the rain hit against the glass as my eyes filled up with tears in despair over the matter. I'd wanted everything at once but had been unable to cope;I'd been so stupid and i now i had to live with the consequences but how can i tell him. it's unbearable.

As my mother had once said you learn from the mistakes others make but in trying to learn from your own is like climbing a mountain and sometimes people try to turn a blind eye to there mistakes but some can't be hidden trust me but once climbed and fought you feel better for it and this was one battle i was going to complete even if it meant death.

i rose from the window and started on my journey.


	2. Trouble Again

**A/N**: People kept saying  that my fist chapter was really short it was only short because it was just a preface to confuse or give you a clue about the story and i hope  this is long enough . Please read and review and tell me what you think it's nice to know.

Max's POV

i have one more year left in this hell hole people called a school and then i am free and i will be away like a bat out of hell. Away from a family i so officiously don't belong with i was the odd one out a thorn in a foot. My mother and father were the head of a science investigation about something i should probably know about but can never be bothered to listen to there pathetic attempts at a conversation once a month. Then we have my two siblings Ari who is the youngest and isn't quite there yet with the whole i go to private school thing and my parents are never around thing and then we have Ella this is the daughter they talk about when out at conferences and someone ask how the family is and i never get a second thought but that's life, and i just deal with it.  You know how you hear of family's that are perfect at the first glance but if you sit with them for long enough you see there masks begin to break well that's my family.

So now that I'm finished with my little pointless rant  your probably thinking who the hell is she. while i am Max and I'm sixteen. I look a lot like my mum except i have my dads eyes and not one of there personality's that's if they even had one to Begin with; See there i go again talking about the two people i detest the most in the world and there taking all the room. Now back to me i go to Hawk-Head high school, that name puts shivers down my spine. i live in New York city and was brought up by my nanny Polly lovely women but not  a loving mother. My two best friends are Nudge and Angel we've know each other are whole lives and have never once  fallen out. At weekends we tend to go out to night clubs and get totally wasted and the one good thing about having stinking rich parents is that when in jail they get some one to bail you out no questions asked. That happened once there was this complete bitch called Nicky who wouldn't leave us alone so i kinda might have accidentally attacked her but remember it was never on purpose.

OK so as you might have gathered my family is messed up and twisted we are dark and twisted. funny don't you think.

The car door opened as i stepped out  with my siblings. The autumns air wipped across my face it was going to be cold this winter. They both looked smart in there new uniform unlike me with just my jeans and t-shirt after all this was my last year might as well make a impression.

"Thanks for the lift Jim" Jim's a great man he's normally the one to bail me out when I'm in jail.

"Always a pleasure madam"

"God just call me Max. i am not my mother."

"Will do."

"Don't lie."

"I'll pick you up at 4:00 and please phone me if you get a detention."

And with that i walked in to the school and smelt the smell of drying paint and the crap food the cafeteria tries to feed us. I so didn't miss this over the summer but it is better than being stuck in my house all summer.

"Miss ride glad to see you back yet again for another year. Anything exciting happen over the summer." she new about my little trips down town to the fuzz, i could here the curiosity burn from every word spoken from her red lips.

"Yes and in all honesty i can not be arsed to tell you so for both our sakes back off and go and gossip about someone else and the only reason i'm still here is just to piss you off." The smirk on her face fell as i said this and i took off in the other direction no way was i getting detention on the first day back that would be  a all time low even for me.

"Hey max. Get into any trouble this year." Angels voice twinkled with a hint of evil.

"No Angel i was a complete angel and was no problem a tall it's not like my parents thought about sending me to military camp or anything" I laughed.

"Your kidding me they didn't honestly do that. Did they ?"

"Yep it went along the lines of; if your in jail another time this summer your going to be sent to military camp."

"That's just cruel." Nudge whined

"Don't worry it wasn't that bad i was still a loud to go out and Jim would just come and rescue me and my parent's didn't need to know."

"Ohhh that doesn't sound to bad."

"OK while on a brighter note guess whats happening in a couple of weeks" Angel squeaked.

"I have no idea, do you Nudge?"

"Nope so go on and tell us."

 "The Fall dance" she said

"Yes we get to go shopping." we screamed.

My last class approached English. The subject was  alright but it always put me to sleep the teacher just droned on and on and i sat all by myself so i had no one to talk to. It sucked

"Class can i have your attention please."

The class dulled down to a silent whisper and held little interest to what she was about to say.

"I would like to tell you that as of tomorrow we will have a new person joining us."

Ahhhh so the rumours have been true they'd been flying around the school all day, i just shock them off thinking people had finally lost interest in school so started crap rumours but behold they had been true for once. The bell went and the teacher shooed everyone out the class with a sigh to herself.

"Max." she yelled before i could leave the class.

"Yes" what had i done now.

"Your not in trouble dear, it's just to say that the new kid will be sitting next to you and i thought i better give you the heads up."

"Oh. Ok then."

"See you tommorro Max."

"Yeah bye."

Well i lasted this day i only had like a hundred more to do and then i was free.

" Glad to see you haven't a detention miss" Jim said

"Thanks Jim. now home before i do something i might regret later" i laughed a little there in my whole life i had no regrets but then  again  i was still young.

When i was back home i blasted Linkin park to block out the silence the house was covered in and collapsed on my bed.


	3. Nice to meet you not

**A/N: hope you enjoy this chapter and please read and review and tell me what you think and if i can make it better, the chapters just now are a little slow but will get better as i write more.**

**Fangs POV**

Great my family was yet again on the move and at one of the most important times of my life no good will come of this that can be guaranteed but what has to be done will be. My mum works for a medical school which involves us to move around a lot but even at that we are a close family. My mum had me at eighteen so is still quiet a young mum but as she puts it" i don't regret having you i just wish I'd been in a better situation so you can have a better life than i did." my dad was good for the first couple of years but then walked away with his receptionist but he didn't know that my mum was pregnant again with Tanya but against all odds he made sure we had a home and made sure my mum was able to get work. the sad thing is that even as a close family we all have secrets from one another.

My mum told us we'd be moving during the summer holidays because she wanted a head start with her job and to get the house ready for us to come over, so for the past week we've been put in the care of our nanny Lisa, lovely lady but to formal for my liking and far to strict. So we had time to say our goodbyes but that still doesn't make this any easier we were in L.A for the best part of three years. When my mum first told me we were moving to New York i was really excited that was until i found out that i was going to another private school. People dream about going to Private school but not me I'm more of a public school guy it means your don't live in a fantasy world and look down on other people Those places do my head in the last one i went to everyone just looked at me weird cause i only had one parent like how snobby is that.

The house we lived in was pretty normal but this one was high class the drive way was like a mile long and the garden was really fancy and the house was a clean white. My bedroom as requested was painted three walls black and one wall blue just like all the other places i lived in.

"So kids would you like to know what school your going to?" my mothers voice dripped with enthusiasm like how sad was that.

"I don't really care."

"I do so shut up fang and let mum tells us what school we're going to."

"Your going to Hawk-Head high school."

"Oohhhh. that's sounds fun." Tanya replied

I grunted and walked away, when you've been to as any schools as i have the novelty starts to wear off. You just go and pretend to look forward to another day of people gawking at you cause your the new kid and you only have one parent. The nights sky was clouded with stars as i sat out on the roof that was one good thing about this house you could get on to the roof, i found that out when we first moved in and it's a great place to hide from unwanted eyes. The sky was so peaceful at night.

In my opinion the school uniform was ugly, there color was a dark green and yellow tie with a white shirt and grey trousers god what had i got myself into. In all my last schools you got to wear what you want and not this crap. The uniform itched against my skin making it crawl even Tanya was pulling a face and she wad normally a little sweet angle always ready to help mum at any point. i laughed to myself this was going to be a interesting day.

My mum drove us to work cause it was our first day and took us into the office.

"Oh hello you must be Fang and Tanya welcome to Hawk-High. Here's your guide plan and someone will be along shortly to guide you around"

"Tanya meet Jessie he's in most of your classes and volunteered to help you round."

"Hi." my sister managed to squeak out god her confidence was so low.

They walked away and she seemed more at peace now and i was left by myself after my mother excused herself.

"I'm sorry dear you person must be running a bit late sit yourself down."

Why could i not go round by myself the school wasn't that big or didn't look it actually it looked a lot like a dumping yard with all the graffiti. Two people argued behind me and i took out my I-Pod today was going to be a long day and the start of it hadn't even begun yet.

"Dear where's Maddy, you weren't asked for."

"Trust me i know do i look like the sort of person who volunteers for something like this and i don't want to look after some spotty brat the whole day."Her voice was Sweet but held a harsh tone almost like she was giving someone a good telling off.

"Well you'll just have to do for now and by the way he's the same age as you."

"And i should care why?"

"Just go before you make the poor gentlemen feel anymore unwelcome, you are such a ungrateful child at times."

"And once again i should care why, you can blame my so called parents for that."

"Just go"

I stood up; a little intimidated by my guide the way she talked it sound like she'd eat me for breakfast and spit me out again.

"Name?" Blunt and straight to the point.

"Fang." Our tones both matched one another.

"And your first class would be?"

"Art and design"

"OK well that's up on the third floor so take the first set of stairs and carry on going until you find Miss Winters and if anyone asks you don't know me."

"OK. Bye"

"Yeah whatever."

So the first person i meet here is a complete jerk; this school should be fun. My art class was silent as i opened the door but soon livened up so i didn't feel so out of place and by the end of it I'd met this really nice guy called Iggy who offered to let me sit with them at lunch and i excepted. I met the rest of Iggy's friends and they were Gazzy, Andrew, Preston and Mark, they were all really nice people and after lunch the rest of the day went alright but the girl that had spoken to me early on i had never seen but she'd been on my mid the whole day; funny how things like that happen the one person that dislikes you, you can't get them out of your head and it's really annoying when it happens.

The family sat down for dinner we all looked so out of place it just didn't feel right to be sitting at a table that could hold like twelve people.

"How was your day?"

"Good we done loads of things and i made loads of new friends adn the teacher are all really nice and music was my favourite subject today oh i just had so much fun."

My mum was expecting a answer like that from me but she didn't get one it was just a "fine." And then a " Can i pleased be excused from the table?"

I went up the stairs and switched on the computer and began talking to my old friends they asked me of my day and then i went to bed so this day could just finish.


	4. like a lullaby

A/N Please review the story and tell me what you think. Hope you enjoy this Chapter

Max's POV.

The new kid was just weird but like so hot at the same god what was i thinking he looked so freakin depressed like someone had just died the guy wouldn't last a day in my life but heck who could and worst of all I'd be made to show him around and then he sat next to me in English so i was no longer alone. He had good choice in friends though after all Iggy was a really sweet guy trust me on that i should know he's going out with Angel and nobody's a loud to mess with my friends unless it's me but even I wasn't that sad.

I sat down at the table for lunch I'd been off school the last couple of days thanks to my brother and sister both being sick over the holidays which just so happened to be passed on to me as the saying goes what comes around , goes around and it was always nice to share or so people thought.

"Glad to see your back Missy. We thought you'd finally had enough and gone but then we came to our sense and thought you were just mad at someone or something" Angel nudged my side trying to make me laugh but failed i still wasn't great.

"Thanks"

"So what do you think of the new kid?" Nudge quizzed me even from the age of like five she all ways asked me what i thought of something before she voiced her thought.

"I don't know probably another stuck up rich kid who gets everything he wants and thinks that maybe one day he'll be president just by pure luck."

"Do you mind but he is sitting with Iggy and don't be so harsh on him. Do you never wonder what people say about you?"

"In all honesty no because everyone just thinks am some stuck up bitch who has a serious attitude problem. How was that is it close enough to the truth?"

"Yeah close enough. So whats eatting you up then?"

Before i had a chance to answer voices came from behind my seat, great what have I done now; I've only been in school for like four hours.

"Mind if we join you?" Iggy asked. He looked over at Angel with a look that wanted me to ram to fingers down my throat just to miss the look and by the look on Angels face this had been happening when i was away. She looked over t me and mouthed the word sorry but i refused to meet her eye.

"Guys I would like you to meet Fang." I whipped my head round so fast i lost some brain cells. It was him the kid I'd disowned on his fist day and now he sat right in front of me i looked over at if as if daring him to say a word but he swiftly adverted his eyes.

"So Max how you feeling today?" Gazzy asked jsut trying to make conversation.

"Am fine and will be leaving the table because I have something to do." I snapped at him but it felt good to let some of my anger out after all I was now just a ticking time bomb awaiting for the right moment.

They whispered to one another as i left from the table my fist day back in a couple of days and I was being a complete bitch and not even to the teachers.

Footsteps approached behind me but i thought nothing of it until a hand turned me round and I was in someone else face which held two beautiful dark brown eyes.

" Why are you so mean to everyone it's not like they deserve it, do they?"

"Who the hell are you to ask me something like that you don't even know me?" I spat the venom dripped off every single one of my words. A bomb just awaiting for the right punch.

"Can I not ask you the same thing? You think your so smart always ready to voice your opiuion but the truth is you can't handle it when it's someome else can you? Can you?" he asked and his tone matched mine to the exact same pitch.

I laughed he was smart and he had me pinned down like a old rag doll awaiting her death.

" OK you have me there I guess but I really couldn't give two fucks what you think of me and who you think I am."

"Wrong again you do care because if you didn't you would have backed down like five minutes ago but still you carry on like a dog with raybbies." He smirked

I screamed right into his face and he didn't even flinch but It felt so good to get all my rage out on someone who was actually going to fight back but god even at this point Nudge and Angle would have backed down what a weird person.

"Your not going to back down are you." I questioned

He shock his head and still held eye contact with me, I lowered my face towards him and he leaned in towards and we began to kiss it wasn't romantic or anything like that since we'd both fought but as soon as it had begun it had ended an we both looked away embarrassed. God i was so stupid but this guy just seemed to get me and wasn't scared I'd have one of my break downs at any moment and i hadn't even known him for a whole day.

"So." he said

"We should just forget about what just happened here after all your still new and i know nothing about you." But the fact was that right now knowing nothing just seemed so peaceful. God I now sounded ;like my sister; that's a little creepy.

"We will talk now won't we?"

"Guess so but you are sworn to secrecy about what happened"

"Fine by me. Do you own a phone by chance?"

"Yes would you like my number?"

"If possible."

And we did and after that I walked away as though nothing had happened but the inside of me was screaming with excitement if I were a balloon you could pop me and all that anger and rage and loathing I'd had for the boy earlier had now disappeared.

"Whats got you so happy Missy?" Angel quizzed me in music.

"For now you don't need to know."

"Fine by me but tell me when your good and ready."

I sat at the Steinway Baby Grand piano and began to play this was the one thing I enjoyed more than being pissed and annoying teachers. As someone once said music is reflection of soul but you'd never guess that when i played all my pieces they were so soft and gentle like a lullaby. At nights when sleep escaped my eyes i could sit for hours and play after all i had no parents to tell me to stop playing and some of my best pieces were written at night.

"You do amaze me?" Angel whispered from my seat

"And why would that be?"

"Simple really your swear like a sailor and have the anger of a wild cat but yet here you sit playing one of the most beautiful pieces of music and still you ask why you amaze me."

"Fair point." I just agreed because I was in the middle of writing down a new piece of music not that she'd notice but I didn't tell them that I done that so everyone just thought I used really old music book that hardly anyone had heard of.

The bell rang telling us to to go home and for once the thought of going home didn't bother me.

"Enjoy your day miss?" Jim asked as i stepped in to the car,

"You know what I did. To let you know I'm taking my car tomorrow for a change it needs a good run."

"Yes miss and will you be helping ones brother and sister?"

I looked at him and shock my head and he sighed. It truly was a shame this man never got a day off but he was always so pleasant to be around and he was stuck with me for the most of it.

So we set off home and for once my mind was at ease and just because of a boy, right now I felt so weak.

Fangs POV

If someone was to ask me how my day was I would of had to say great but know one was home because mum was still at work and my sister was at some persons house.

So I texted Max but each time i though of her name a bubble of excitement appeared and i grinned like a Cheshire cat.

Fang: Hiya hows u?

Max: Am alright. U?

Fang: Am good i hve the hole house to myself. :-)

Max: Lucky u i ain't, i hve the hole clang here except parents.

It was strange how easy it was to just talk to someone when you couldn't see them it made life so much easier.

If only it could be like this all the time but life wasn't like that but still just being with Max for that ten minutes even if we were arguing, it felt right like two forces were pushing us together or was I looking to deeply into it? I fell asleep trying to get my mind to stop working for a minute or two cause it just wouldn't/couldn't shut-up with all my thoughts.


	5. Time to shop

**A/n: Hope you enjoy this chapter and please read and review because I've had a lot more than 7 people read it. So please review.**

**Maxs Povs**

My alarm went off and then a knock on the door came which I was expecting.

"What do you want?" I snapped god they must have been standing right outside my room waiting for my alarm to go off how sad.

"Miss it's just to ask if you are still wanting to take your car to school and if so if so what one?"

Another little secret of mine I loved fast cars and racing them was even more fun but still I had to be-careful if I wrecked one of my cars I wasn't allowed it to be replaced. I had at least seven cars which might make me sound a little spoiled but it's like a drug for me owning fast cars.

"I'll take my viper today I think."

"Yes miss I'll just go get it."

I slipped into my black skirt and MCR top after all it was school why not make a statement. Breakfast as usual was really well dull because every one had already left so I was running a little late but hey who cares it's Friday and that meant a party this weekend if my friends where up for it I might even invite Fang and the rest of his friends. Last night I'd been unable to get him off my mind no guy had ever done that to me and trust me when love hits you it hurts like hell it's like a misquote bit that just keeps itching away until you have to scratch it and then it bleeds.

I stepped out into the morning air as it hit against my face I remembered why I loved New York and that was because of it's winters and how white they were. It was going to be a nice Christmas this year. I slid into my car and it just made me more relaxed as the leather touched my back. The engine purred as i turned the keys in the ignition god this was a good engine and could easily reach a hundred in less that five minutes and all because I hung out at the right places.

At Hawk-High being seen with a car was just not done but heck who cares when you have a car like mine. The car park was quiet as usual. As is I stepped out the car I heard a few people yell that they liked my car and wolf whistled but I just ignored them after all it was my car and nobody else was going to get a shot in it.

" Heard you brought your car to school today, why'd you do that?"

"Hi to you to Nudge and Simple I like cars and Jim drives to slow."

"Love the outfit what you trying to get?"

"Meaning what?"

Nudge was a great friend but just because i wore a really short skirt and boots doesn't mean i want to get screwed.

"While just the way your dressed it seems a bit you know, like you want someone to do you."

"No reason and thats the truth so just drop it"

I snapped at her when i didn't need to but I was in no mood to listen to her talk for the next hour about utter crap. Class went by really quick and i wasn't sure why that was until i looked down on my jotter and had Fangs name scribbled all over it. god I was turning into one of those self obsessed freaks that only thinks about what the future holds and I really did not want to spend my life like that or not right now any way.

Lunch was as usual dull and so not fun, the guys joined us and i managed to talk to fang but nothing of high importance and it wouldn't give us away. I had had a question in my head all day; were we going out? but I knew we weren't because I had blown it because I'd said he was new and I was right now sounding so pathetic and that was in my own head.

I sat down in English and for some reason felt really tired and that was a crap way to start the weekend.

"Hows you."

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and i got butterflies in my stomach at that moment if he'd asked me to jump off the school building i would have done. his voiced made me feel so relaxed even more than when I was driving my car.

"I'm good, what about you?"

"Better now that I'm here with you, god that sounded so cheesy didn't it? he laughed

"Just a bit." I was trying hard to hide the smile on my face.

My mobile vibrated in my pocket making me jump, I flicked it opened and found a message from Angel.

Angel: wot u up 2 this wkend? Nudge says hiya

Max: R u trying to get me killed cause ur goin the rite way? Am up for anything something that involves drinks and dancin.

Angel: Sounds good, can we meet at ur house and do u mind if Iggy and the other guys come?

Max: no. Wot time will u and Nudge b at my house?

Angel: 4 so we have time to get ready and we'll meet Iggy at the Dash club at 7 and then we have a hole nite of partying.

max: That'll do. bye

Angel: bye. enjoy English.

She was so jammy she got a free period on Friday, wish I had but I had no such luck, the one thing that still confused me about the whole weekend thing was that she'd asked the boys if they wanted to go and that never happened it was only ever her and Iggy that would go out with one another but I guess things had to change some time.

" What was that all about?"

"I was just talking to Angel and Nudge the weekend."

" Cool."

English went by pretty quickly thanks to Angel because I was planning on what to wear but still nothing prompted me, I might just have to go shopping, now that would be fun. The bell rang and I darted out the class ;I had some business to do. I sped off to a big shop that nobody really knows about unless you shop like me and my friends and have the money for it and they have all the latest fashions. I rang the shop to let them know I was coming and what type of dress I was looking for, one good thing when you shop like I do people begin to know you and will do anything to keep you as a customer.

" Afternoon miss we have a couple of outfits layed out for you, please take your time and just yell if you need any help."

"Will do."

The first couple of dress just looked all wrong on me so I began to look for shoes to see if that would help with my choice in dress but I was having no luck that was until I started rummaging through the wracks and found a silver dress which looked absolutely to die for so I tried it on and it fitted like a glove, so that was my dress all I needed was my shoes so I looked in the place where most of my shoes were from Jimmy Choo this was a little harder but I found them and once again they were to die for but why die for them when you have money to pay for them. So about three hours later i was at the check-out paying for all the things I'd bought.

" See you again Miss."

"Yes"

This place was always so poliet so I felt the need to return that, I gave the guy a good tip and started the journey home, I was in no hurry to return home so stopped off and got a bit to eat at Sub-Way; I knew how to live the high life didn't I? It was dark by the time I got home but that means I could just go straight up to my room and not have to listen to the silence in the house.

" Where have you been, I've been worried and was tempted to call your parents?"

"Sorry Jim but I had some last minute shopping to do that was really important and I switched my phone off because I didn't want anyone to disturb me."

"Fine just don't do it again ok."

"Jim you and I both know that it will happen again and we'll have the same conversation so I ain't going to be promising anything."

"Just go upstairs please."

"Bye."

Jim was a good guy and I new he wouldn't have told my parents because they wouldn't have done anything which for most children that would be heart breaking for me it was just life. they only ever came if Ella and Ari were in trouble; I'm a hundred percent sure that if I was to get run over and die they wouldn't even come to my funeral.

I collapsed om my bed and flicked my phone on and had a message from Fang.

Fang: r u going out this wkend 2 dash club

Max: yeah.Y

Fang cause Iggy asked if I wanted to go and I said yes and took a guess that u'd b goin.

Max: cool so c u 2morro.

Fang: will do.

I was so glad I'd bought that dress right now and was even more excited that i was getting to see Fang again. I couldn't wait for tomorrow to come.

**Fang POV**

I sat up and thought about me and Max, I was truly in love with her but I wasn't sure if she returned the same feelings but what was I expecting I was the new kid and I guess I'd just have to live with it but I think I'll ask her her out tomorrow like properly and if she says no then I don't think I'll ever be able to love again My heart was for her and her alone. I wonder what I'll wear tomorrow after all this was the first time out with all my friends and a first impression means everything.


	6. Just ask

**A/N: hope you enjoy this chapter and please read adn review.**

**maxs POV**

Saturday morning came and I looked like a half shut knife but was like uber happy and the fact that I had a new dress it made me feel even better. I practically danced down the stairs to get breakfast, it was like I was on cloud nine.

" What you so happy about?"

" Nothing you would know about Ari so just leave me the hell alone."

"Will do."

"Don't speak to your brother like that Miss, he was only asking a question."

"Oh god people please just chill out you'd think someones died and just to let you know that I'm going out to night and will be getting completely wasted so I'll be needing a lift to the dash and I'll just get a cab home"

"You'll do no such thing, you'll phone me when you have to come home and that's that."

"Fine then but I ain't going to be promising anything"

I ate breakfast really slow but I was practically hitting off the roof I couldn't wait to get out the house and party. I'd phoned The Dash Club last night and reserved the V.I.P balcony so we would have most of it to ourselves, I hadn't told the others yet so hopefully they would like the surprise. The rest of the afternoon went pretty slow and it got so bad that Jim sent me outside because I wouldn't sit still and here I sat now on my bed with only five minutes to go until Nudge and Angel arrive and knowing them they'd be exactly on time and have like a whole wardrobe with them. The door bell rang and I darted down the stairs.

"Hi guys. Come on upstairs."

"Hey max aren't you a bit happy to be going out today"

"Not at all. So what you all wearing"

"Haven't decided yet so I brought about ten outfits with me. Alan should be bring them up in a minute." Angel sighed. She loved to dress up but shes needs people to tell her how fabulous she looks.

"I have two outfits and I think I've decided what one I want to wear."

"Fine by me."

Alan brought up Angels clothes and with that some white wine to start our night off and the party began.

"Max's I think there's something you need to tell us." Nudge looked me up and down for some unknown reason.

"And that would be?"

"While your extremely happy to the point that people might think your high, so spill."

"Girls there is nothing to tell." I tried hard to hush my giggles but they were out of control and normally I was a good liar.

"Sit." Angel roughly pushed me on to the bed and nudge just stood and glared.

"So who is it?"

"So who is what?" I was playing dumb but my friends were many things but not stupid.

"Do not play dumb with me Max I've known you for the best part of fifteen years, so who is it?" Angel kept glaring at me like I was wearing last falls outfit.

"Not sure what your talking about and stop staring at me like that"

"Fine two can play at this game. Nudge go get that nice skirt that max won't let anyone touch."

I sat there in sheer panic they wouldn't wreck that skirt it was like one of my nicest ones, Nudge picked it up and her face seemed to reflex the same panic that mine did. She looked towards me and gave me a small apologetic look.

"Are you ready to talk now because I would rather not wreck your skirt and anyway it can't be that bad can it?"

"You'll laugh and then say I'm weak and a fool."

"It can't be that bad just tell us." They both sat on the bed and looked at me awaiting for me to talk but I couldn't tell them that I was in love, that just wasn't me I was Miss In dependant.

I took a deep breath. "I'm in love." I mumbled it under my breath so I don't think they heard me say it the first time. And just now for the first time I was admitting it to them and myself so it must be true.

"Sorry but did you just say your in love and it's not with like a pair of shoes?" Nudge looked at me and just screamed and then fell off the bed.

"Which brings me back to my first question, Who is it?"

"Fang."

"Aww you guys are such a cute couple."

"Sorry to burst your little love bubble Nudge but we aren't going out."

"But you will be trust me on that." Angel sighed and went back to applying on her make-up.

We were all ready for six thirty and they both loved my dress. By the time we left they new all about my little love feast on Fang. Jim drove us to the front door in my car and my heart was beating at hundred miles an hour. The club as usual was really busy so I was glad I'd booked the V.I.P balcony.

"Guy's I forgot to tell you that I booked the V.I.P balcony."

"Thank God for that, I thought we might not get in for a moment." Nudge was always the one to over react.

"When will the guys be here and where were we to meet them?" I asked

Angel gave me a knowingly look and just gave a small shrug of her shoulders.

"Here they come now." Nudge screamed, god she was even more hyper than me and that was saying something considering I haven't been able to sit still for the past while seven hours.

We waved them over.

Hey girls looking good." Gazzy was such a sweet talker it still surprised me that him and Nudge weren't going out.

"Same to you guys. Ready to go in?"

"Yeah." they all replied at once and with that we went inside.

the club was packed full and as usual Angel, nudge and I were on the dance floor before the drinks had been ordered.

**Later on in the evening**

**Fangs POV**

OK deep breath and just tell her it won't be that bad or should I say it can't be that bad. Worst comes to worst you can always ask to move again. I laughed to my self how would I explain that to my mum.

"Hey Max. Enjoying the night?"

"Yeah it's great, you?"

"I'm having a great time. Can I talk to you for a moment outside?"

"Yeah sure just let this song finish." She drummed her fingers off the balcony. I didn't really like the song but heck different people like different things.

God she was so hot right now. I walked outside and the cold air splashed against my face like a buck of water and that made me relax ever so slightly.

"Guess who?"

"Hi max." she was so close to me just now, I had to remind myself to breath.

"What was it that you wanted me out here in this frightful weather." she giggled.

"I wanted to ask you if...if.. you'd go out with me and I know you said..." Before I could finish my sentence she'd pushed me up against the wall and began kissing me her mouth was so soft against mine and the kiss was so perfect.

She pulled back." Sorry about that I've been waiting on you to ask me that like all night."

"Oh. OK"

"Should we go back inside or would you like to go somewhere else?"

I was a little taken a back by her question but after all this was Max so what was I expecting. "What would you rather do?"

"Someplace where there is no people." She began kissing me again running her tongue along my teeth and over my lips, it was just so perfect but the only problem was that I'd never gone further than this with any girl but I'd never felt this way about any girl.

She got out her phone and called someone called Jim to pick us up and told him something else but I wasn't really listening.

"Lets go say bye to the rest of the guys and tell them we're off to a hotel."

We found them all gathered on the balcony they' been looking for us.

"There you are max we were worried."

Her friends were so thoughtful and Max wasn't. They were all like the complete opposite but they all looked out for one another.

"Hey man see you later and enjoy the rest of your night and be careful remember it is Max after all." Iggy clapped me on the back.

"Thanks for the warning but she's nice enough to me." For now any way.

"You ready?" Her hands en twinned with mine and we walked off.

The car journey was interesting to say the least her driver wasn't to happy about seeing me for some unknown reason but he just carried on driving. Max seemed really kinda out of it but in a nice way. Her Hand trailed up and down my leg making me a little twitchy and she ran kisses along my collar bone and neck.

"I'll need a lift home Jim at about two maybe three."

"That will be fine Miss and is that all for tonight?"

"Yes."

The hotel was well amazing there was a grand stairway in the center of the lobby and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.

"Come on silly and please stop quaking at all this stuff, I own a couple of rooms in this hotel to get away from my insane family." She said this like it was just like a pet dog and everybody should have one.

She funnily enough owned the pent house and seemed pretty pleased about it, the room was a lot like her, funny out going and a little strange but it all seemed to fit together. She beckoned me forward with her index and patted the bed, this was it.

She pushed me on to my back and began to pull of my shirt and so on and so fourth, I done the same to her. Her body was well amazing, It was now her on her back I slid into her letting my presence be known a slow moan escaped our lips as we slowly moved in time with one another. The night was pure bliss and carried on well into the morning both are bodies covered with a light sheen of sweat.

Her head lay against the pillow sound asleep, she was so peaceful and so at rest it seemed a shame to wake her but her phone had been ring for teh past hour and it was doing my head in.

"Max. Max wake up will you?" I gave her a light shove and she grunted something that told me that she didn't want to be disturbed.

"Well am going down for lunch if that's OK with you?"

She sat up right and looked over at me. " God I'm so sorry I thought, heck I have no idea what I thought, I'll be ready in ten minutes or a little more. She smiled at me and gave me a small kiss and bounced out of bed. "Well get ready then." She was so not a morning person.

**Maxs POV**

The water ran against my face washing the thought of sleep from my mind, my head pounded each time I moved ever so slightly. The shower stopped and I began to towel dry my hair which didn't really help it, I couldn't be bothered with all the fuss of straighting it. I opened my wardrobe doors and pulled out jeans and a t-shirt.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind me asking how did you get a change of clothes?" his voiced seemed surprised.

"I had some from the last time I was here." He didn't need to know the whole truth well not yet anyway.

Lunch was some what awkward because everyone kept saying "hi" to me and asking who Fang was but I just told them to piss off and I got the chef to make me my favourite when suffering from a hangover, A BLT sandwich and fang had fish and chips. It was funny really here I was at a five star hotel and eating really cheap food.

After lunch we departed and Jim came to pick me up.

I sat in the car deep in thought when Jim interrupted me.

"Enjoy your evening Miss?" He was a smart cookie he and new all about what I do there every time I bring someone back even I wasn't stupid enough to bring them back home like normal people do.

"Yes it was just packed with fun." I giggled to myself; his face was contorted into something of discomfort, he hated to think of someone of the things I done up in that room. This was one thing I was glad of my parents had no Idea that I owned a hotel room and Jim wasn't stupid enough to tell them.

The rest of the afternoon was somewhat painful thanks to my intake of alcohol and having annoying little children in the house thanks to my sister. My phone had done nothing but ring for the past three hours and I couldn't be bothered to answer it so I shut it off and then there was a sharp knock on my door.

"What?" I snapped; God did these people ever leave me alone I just wanted to be alone for now anyway that was.

"Hi to you to, we came to check up on you and see how the evening was?" Angel slowly approached with Nudge filing in behind her.

"Am good. Why couldn't you ask me that tomorrow?"

"Cause you probably won't be in."

I nodded Nudge was right I didn't enjoy Mondays and if still suffering from a hangover it was very unlikely I'd go to school, God they new me so well.

"Well we'll see you on Wednesday I guess." They walked out the room and left me.

**A/n: I'm still trying to decide wither I like this chapter or not so tell me qhat you think and if I can improve it in anyway.**


	7. At least I'm sane

**A/N: I for one did not like my last chapter as much as I should of but I wasn't really sure what else to write, So please read and review this chapter because I've had way more than 12 people read it.**

**Fangs POV**

I remember going into school the next day and Max wasn't there and it made me feel sad but I just carried on like nothing had happened and then with each day that passed I grew more and more anxious; she wouldn't pick up her phone but her friends didn't seem to worried it was like they new where she was but after the second week they began to get a little twitchy like every time some one opened a door they'd look round to see if it was Max and then they'd look at one another as if to ask each other a question but nothing would ever come out there mouths. It was just plain freaky it was like they weren't the same people without Max like they all reiled on each other but I guess I could say that I felt the same way. You don't expect someone to just disappear like that especially when your one of the last people to be seem with them.I sat at the table with the guys and Nudge and Angel and for yet another lunch they talked with no meaning after all it was just words that tumbled from there mouths.

I stood outside the front gate for some unknown reason but I'm sure it held a purpose somewhere along the lines but yet again her car did not show it had now been six weeks and no word or contact. I looked down at my clock and ran inside I was going to be late for my first period class.

**Maxs POV**

I sat down on the front lawn watching the clouds begin to darken and the rain fall, I was soaked but unable to move was it wrong of someone to ignore another person when your gut felling tells you that you should say something but every time you try your mind freezes; I had another five weeks left of this place.I was in a kinda rehab thing to stop me from going and getting wasted thanks to my parents. I bet the only reason am in here is because there coming home and didn't want to face me. I've been in here for a week and the people are just down right weird. When I came in the door they took my watch and necklace off of me and all my make- up in case I try to kill myself; like my life was that bad but I guess someones tried it. The people here are just little strange you have all the different groups you have the people who won't eat and just move there food around there plates, then you get the cutters otherwise known as the self harmer's and then you get the druggies and then my group the fluid group otherwise known as alcoholic. I go to see Linda twice a week in case I have any problems with how things work, the conversation pretty much doesn't exist I'd spend the whole hour watching the click tick by.

"Dear I think you better come in your all wet."

"Why it's not as though its going to make a difference is it, my life could just be painted here so everyone will remember me for the insane luntic my parents make me out to be!"

"Nobody thinks that deary."

"Yes they do. I haven't answered my phone because you people took it off of me so everyone in my school will know where i've been trust me, my life will never be the same again. I dont even need to be here. I am fine the way I am."

"Fine but dinner will be out in a hour."

I sat at dinner eating a cheese burger and chips and the sad thing was that they only gave you plastic forks and knifes and I watched people that was the best thingt to do but still it was like time was just frozen; frozen like a clock in detention.

The one thing that I couldn't stand was the fact that everything was so exact; your rooms had to be perfect, nothing went unchecked it's like they wanted you to die or to see how far they could push you over the edge til your were at breaking point and only then would they ask you if you needed any help. I'd seen that happen the second week I was here thsi girl Daisy I think her name was somebody found her cutting her leg and didn't do anything and then the nurse saw her scar and asked if she needed help but Daisy declined and then that sad night came Daisy went out for a walk and never came back and Dr Wilson found her hung in a tree. That was awful, for once in my life it made me think that my life might not be that bad. If you've ever been to a kinda rehab thing then you'll know people are allowed to vist you but no one did for me but that didn't bother me but there was some kids who sat at the window awaiting for there parents to come and they'd never come. It was horrible to watch. When your in one place for so long you begin to think of it as a second home because the people there seem to at least care about you and make you feel welcome. So when the end begins to show your at least a little sad and scared that you feel that way to be leaving but somethings are never meant to change.

I had only a hour left and I still felt the same and there was something different but I couldn't quiet put my finger on it. I awaited for Jim to come and pick me up I was a little nervous about seeing everyone again would they look at me in a strange way. Was I ready to go home but the other question was did I want to go home? The stairs were making me cold but still it felt nice it was like the six weeks I'd spent here had some how made me a calmer person but hadn't changed the way I was to look at the world. My car the Audi TT pulled up which I thought to be a little strange I was the only person to have my keys and Jim but he wouldn't touch my cars unless he asked me first but seeing my car made me relax just a little. I waved goodbye to the nurse and other people whom I'd gotten to know and stepped towards my car.

"Hello Miss I thought you'd like to drive back by yourself?" He seemed happy enough to see me but he didn't look right.

" Yes I'd like that but what are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about me I phoned this place earlier and told them so someone in there is going to give me a lift home."

"OK see you at the house then."

The car smelt like me and that made me relax even more but I did feel sorry for Jim he shouldn't have done that, I turned on my I-Pod and connected to the little thing that I can never remember the name of and switched on Blue October Angel I loved that song. The journey back home was some what peaceful, the roads weren't to busy so my journey was quick but I slowed down as I approached the house. I took and deep breath and stepped out the car. It was half one so everyone was either at work or school so there was no one there to bother me and for once it was half way nice to be home. I switched on my phone to see if anyone had called when I'd been away they had I had over hundred miss calls and at least fifty texts. So they had noticed that I'd been away for like two months.

I sat on my bed and for some weird reason just felt really tiered, So I just slept and then the next thing I remember is someone waking me up saying that I had to get ready for school. School I had to face everyone now and they'd find out the truth about where I'd been or I could just say I was on holiday for two months but no one would believe that I didn't even believe it and I made it up.

"Miss get up your going to be late for your fist day back. I'll get your car ready if you want?"

"Yes go and get my car please I want my Astan Martin for today." After all it's the best place to hide, I laughed that was a lie but heck laughing made me feel better I felt really ill right now but I had to got to school and get it over and done with.

I parked my car and took a deep breath only twenty more steps and it was over; I counted them down in my head readying myself with each step. I was scared because I'd been away but maybe they didn't know and I was just being paranoid. The doors opened and no one stared so that was a relief except from a few teachers but they were all bastards and could mind there own business. I slipped into my class late as usual but nobody seemed to notice, the next to hours went by with no panic but as interval began to approach my nerves began to get the better of me but I had to do it. And I really wanted to see Fang. I sat at our usual table and no one was there

" Max your back thank god for that, why did you never tell us where you were and why did you not pick up your phone and you've missed so much." Nudge gave me a huge hug just to prove that she'd missed me.

"Yeah am back and please stop hugging me." God that girl was strong.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly "I just missed you it just didn't seem right without you; so where were you."

"I tell you when Angel arrives OK." Hopefully. I still wasn't sure I wanted them to know where I had been but they were my friends and they hadn't let me down yet.

Angel rushed over and hugged me. " Missed you."

"Thanks." Nudge prodded my side and a small amount of pain went up my side.

So I told them of my six week adventure to some rehab place that am sure had a name but I didn't bother to look for it. They were so nice about it and so understanding , I noticed that the guys didn't sit with us but Fang kept looking over at me it got to the stage that I just waved him over and he came.

"Hi. hows you?" I asked.

"Am good you?"

"Am doing better and have been worse." I laughed. funny how one person you've only just met could make your life seem better. He seemed a little nervous around my friends but he sat there and didn't ask me anymore question even though I could see he was dying to.

"Talk to you later Max me and Nudge have somethings to do." She looked at me and smiled as if to say it'll be fine.

We just sat there with one another neither one of us sure what to say but the silence wasn't awkward like at my house.

Do you want to leave?" I wasn't sure how comfortable he was with all the people around about us.

"Yes."

We rose together hands entwined with one another. I went straight towards my car the rest of my school day was dull and no one would miss me.

"Where we going?"

"My car if you don't mind cause I can't be bothered spending the rest of the day here but you can go back in when the bell goes if you want." I was giving him a choice after all he was a smart person.

"No that's OK. Nice car." His voice didn't seem to sure but he kept walking.

"Thanks."

I sat down and turned on my I-Pod in case you hadn't guess so far I love to listen to music the only type I don't really like is dance they just can't sing in my opinion.

"So what type of music do you like?" You could tell a lot from the music people listened to.

"Mostly Rock I guess."

"Cool pick a song then I have anything on there that involves rock." Funny thing was that he picked the exact same song that I'd been listening to.

"Where we going then?"

Just a cafe that serves the best food in the world and no snobby people looking at you."

"Oh. OK then."

The cafe was quiet but peaceful it felt nice to be with someone who cared where I'd been but didn't ask so many questions especially ones I didn't want to tell. The cafe held a couple of old people and us so we got the couches.

"Hello max what are you and the gentleman having?" Ann is a lovely women always ready to help.

"This is fang and I'll just have a coke and a muffin, Fang?"

"I'll have a coffee and cookie thanks."

"You drink coffee? Why?"

"I started drinking coffee when I was about ten that's when my dad got remarried and in some ways it made me cope with it so it's a kinda addiction."

"Am sorry about that but I think your better off at least you see them."

"That could be argued with but do you not see yours?"

"No. I think the last time I saw them was last year, they work away a lot but they came home a couple of weeks ago but I was a way." He moved forward a bit but apart from that you wouldn't have noticed that he'd grown more of a interest.

"Oh. I'll guess you'll see them next year." He laughed.

"I won't be holding my breath on it that's for sure."

"Here you go chaps food is served."

"Thanks"

"Thanks." It was nice to have a drink but it seemed a little strange that I was talking to Fang about stuff that not even my friends new but I guess right now he was more than a friend and he didn't seemed to bothered about it. I remember once I brought up the subject of parents when we where at Nudges and she just shock it off.

"Home after this I guess, where do you live and I'll give you a lift I won't make you walk?" I laughed.

"Just a couple miles from the school. Max would you mind if I asked you a question?"

Here it comes. I knew he wanted to know but what would he think once being told.

I took a deep breath, "I was away because my parents think I have a problem A.K.A they wanted me out of the house while they were home."

"Max you can't say something like that about your parents. My dad cheated on my mum and I don't think anything like that about him, maybe they were just worried about your health and thought they could book you in some where for help."

"No they just hate me, trust me if you look at my family I'm the odd one out, there all good at maths physics, chemistry and anything else mathmatical and then you get me I do music, English, Art and P.E." I was right about this you'd even say to some extent I'd been adopted.

"Am not going to argue with you because that would be a waste of time."

"Fine by me. Are you finished yet?"

"Yes lets go."

I waved bye to Ann and left a good tip that women was so nice.

I dropped Fang off. The strange thing was that he didn't have a lot of cars and his house was a lot smaller than mine but it was nice and the garden was alright but then again he didn't seem like the sort of kid to live off this parents money and his mum was single after all he'd kept that quiet if someone was to find out well lets say he won't last long here. Sad really you'd think my school would be over stuff like that but it was still stuck in the eighteenth century way of life. It felt weird being back in the house after being away for so long but it was only Jim and me and he didn't seemed to please to see me so I went and busied myself with the piano.

"Glad to see nothings changed."

"Meaning what!"

"Your still the same person before you left and not a zombie I've heard that can happen to people but you do look different."

"Different how?"

"Not sure healthier I guess."

"Erm thanks I guess."

"Your welcome Miss."

God it was this place that needed help not me. I was the normal one and that I was sure of.


	8. Authors note

**A/N: I hate author notes but I had to leave one ,sorry: **

**I'm going on holiday for a month which means I have no computer and will be unable to update but I if I do find a computer I'll update.**

**So I'll try to update as soon as I come back and hopefully someone will have commented on my seventh chapter by then.**


	9. You play!

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter and it's a little short since am still on my hols and I'm now getting ready for my music exam. So I'll try and update as soon as possible. Please, please review my story because I'd love to know what you think of it so I can make it better. And Enjoy.**

Fangs POV

I looked out towards the driveway it was swallowing me whole the stretch of road was like your oesophagus twisting and winding it's way down to the pit that's your stomach; this house just wasn't me it was all a pretence I was more of a small flat person but I had no choice it was either this or stay with my dad. Not that he was a bad person I just didn't really like his wife that much.

That day I'd listen to Max talk she had a lot on her plate but she kept it so locked up so that no one would have of guessed and I hadn't until she'd sat me down at the café. It was sad but she did need help and she wasn't to blame. In a way we had a lot in common but were two different people. Living two separate lives.

I jumped, as my front door was slammed opened making me falling off the windowsill.

" Fang, why the hell did I get a phone call from the school telling me you'd just disappeared?" My mothers voice was full of rage as her foot tapped off the floor and her stare was like death.

"I went away after lunch is that alright? Max asked me if I wanted to and I did" My voice matched hers I was in no mood to get yelled at tonight.

"No. Do you know how angry I am at you? Do you young man? Get out my sight now." She slouched against the wall covering her eyes and I could hear her muttering to herself about something.

I hadn't argued with my mum like that for a while and I felt horrible about it but she didn't need to freak out about something so small big deal I missed school. I guess I'd never done it before but there's a first time for everything. Get over it. I laid down on my couch it was freezing but it made me sit still for a while well I cooled myself off. Music blared from my phone but I didn't want to move it was peaceful sitting here. Alone with just me and no noise, that's what I'd hated from some of my old homes there was always traffic going by at any time whether it to be day or night or people talking while going pass your house so you were never alone there was always something going on.

A small knock came from behind my door.

"Can I come in please?" My sisters voice was practical a whisper.

"Fine." I snapped at her but I wasn't angry with her.

"I was to tell you that dinner will be ready in five minutes." She retreated out the room with a dull look hanging over her face.

I nodded but it was more to myself than Tanya. I made my way down stairs and watched from a far they looked happy together just my mum and Tanya, complete and ready for anything. Tanya might be younger than me but she was sometimes smarter. She looked over at me and smiled and waved me forward, she handed me the place mats and I set the table like I always did. I'd been doing that for the last thirteen years of my life.

I sat down and waited for the food to be served and it did so I tucked in, dinner was quiet and awkward no one was really talking and avoiding each other's eyes.

"So how was your day?" my mother looked towards Tanya. Acting as though I wasn't there.

"It was good we had P.E today and that was rubbish we were doing hockey getting ready for a season thing that they do at the school." Her voice held a bored monotone.

"That's good dear, will you be playing in the season?" My mothers voice held mock excitement.

She thought for a moment. " I don' think so, I can't really play that well."

I hid my laughter with a cough, my sister couldn't play sports to save herself, and she had two left feet when it came to things that involved sport. Unlike me, I loved sport and just now my favourite would have to be Baseball I hadn't been to a game in a while, wonder if I could still get tickets just now?

" That's ok. Anything else happen?"

" Nope life was just normal as ever."

I left the table with out saying bye I was fed up with the death stares coming from my mum and the awkward conversation being passed between the two of them. The silence I could live with but this was just ridiculous.

My phone rang as I stepped in to my room, I looked over at it but didn't answer it I couldn't be bothered with any one for now. I watched heroes trying too relax myself enough to get to sleep but it just wasn't happening my eyes refused to let me close them.

At around one o'clock my mum came and looked over at me and sat on my bed. "Why you still up at this time?" her voice seemed softer than it had been earlier on

" I can't sleep." It was as simple answer but it made her smile.

" I came in to apologize for the way I reacted this afternoon, I was just a little stressed when I came in from work and I'm sure there's a good reason why you left school?" she looked at me as though I was a very valuable vase or something like that.

" There is a good reason I'd just rather not talk about, it was private just between friends." I tried to keep my voice soft but it wavered slightly at the end, she looked slightly disappointed and tried to hide it but nodded in agreement,

" If that's what you want then I'll just drop it but please tell me if your leaving school, because you did give me a big fright." Her voice was pleading with mine.

" I'll try to in the future, is that ok?"

"Yes thank-you." She walked out the room with a smile on her face. I felt better now that we were talking again. God my mother was strange at times but I think that's what makes her a good one.

I looked over towards my phone yet again because it was ringing, I thought I was the only person to stay up this late obviously I was wrong. I flicked my screen up to see I had three messages two from Max and one from Gazzy.

Max: Hi.

Max: R u still up at this time?

Gazzy: R u busy next weekend cause I have spare tickets for a basket ball game if you want 2 go?

It wasn't Baseball but it would still be good fun, so I replied with a yes. As for Max I said hi and yes they were simple texts but at least I'd replied to them so that counted. So I was at a basket ball game next week wonder who's playing? It was going to be fun; I hadn't been to any real games in over a year, which was so unlike me.

I eventually managed to sleep only to be told to get up again; school really was beginning to get on my nerves.

Breakfast was much better than dinner that's for sure but my mum was in a hurry, so I only just got to see her. I didn't feel to bad considering the lack of sleep I'd had.

"Morning Fang." Tanya yawned; she could sleep for hours and still be tired.

" You to."

I was running a little late for school so I just made it to register only to be told there's an assembly. Wonder what they do in it?

" Fang, got your text this morning can't wait till Saturday Iggys also joining us so it will be fun."

"Yeah it will be."

We headed off to meet the girls who were already waiting on us outside the door, Max looked how I felt but she was still amazing but she didn't look to happy or maybe it was just me.

Maxs POV

I was curled into a ball lying on the cold floor with a roaring pain in my stomach, I felt as though someone was grabbing my stomach and twisting it around again and again. Each time I moved it grew worse and I felt really ill. So moving was now no longer an option, everybody was sleeping, dreaming dreamless dreams and me I was stuck on the floor with a crippling pain. I wanted to call for help but couldn't my voice was too weak and my throat was hoarse and hurt.

I've been, being sick in the morning for ages now and I can't figure out why but this day would have to be the worse one. I lay on the floor for what felt like hours and the pain slowly subdued into a nothing but any quick movements would bring it back.

I slowly rose from a lying position in to a sitting position and with a sharp breath I was standing up, I staggered slowly towards my bathroom door the rooming spinning ever so slightly. I rested my head against the doorframe trying to regaining my balance as I opened the door and just as I reached the toilet I was sick, which in all honesty made me worse, my breaths were short and ragged my mouth and throat burning with acid as I retched again. I rested my head against the cold toilet frame willing myself to get better but nothing happened.

When my phone rung I felt as though someone had drilled a wire through my head. I had to get up soon but the sickness wouldn't fade and the thought of food made me sick again. I stood up and leaned over my sink, my face was gaunt and not its usually cheery self no amount of make-up was going to hide that, my lips ruff from dehydration. I gently splashed water on my face just to waken me up ever so slightly it worked for a while so I decided on a shower just to wash this thing away completely. As the water flowed down my skin and over my eyes I felt so much more relaxed and fresher but that feeling was soon banished as the water was switched off and the cold air blew against my face as I stepped from the shower.

I sat outside on my front door steps just trying to gather my thoughts watching a bird pick twigs for it's nest. God they had it easy, no one to argue with, no one to look after but themselves.

"Thought I'd find you here and might I ask why you're out here?" My fathers voice was sickening sweet.

" You had no idea that I was out here it was pure utter luck that you found me, and I'm out here so know one can annoy me, and guess what? You are." My throat was still hoarse from being sick so it didn't quite have the effect I wanted it to.

" Don't take that tone with me Max." His voice was so weak it didn't even scare me, not that it once had.

" Just go away and carry on with your work as normal." My throat sore and my head being ripped opened and having a conversation with my dad was not the most enjoyable thing in the world in fact it could be the worst but there's still years left in my life.

And he did just that as always and for once I just wish he'd walk away and not come back just carry on walking never to be seen again, tears fell from my eyes and I didn't know why but I just had this urge to cry but that juts made my head hurt more. I sat with my head in between my head rocking myself back and for ward making myself sick yet again but this time I had no urge to move.

"Max are you alright?" Ari asked, God why is it when something happens someone always has to ask the obvious question.

"Yeah I'll be ok in a minute, I'll just be fine."

"Ok then." Well seen he was my wee brother. He hadn't noticed the puddle of sick next to me, which I was glad of. I stood up slowly and made my way inside for yet another shower.

I sat in the passenger seat listening to slipknot as Jim grumbled on about something in the house that hadn't been done right, he was turning fussy in his old age. I was feeling much better than what I had been but I wasn't to sure about how I looked. The car stopped outside the crappy school that I go to.

" Enjoy your day Miss and please try and stay a whole day." He waved me out the car.

" Will do." That was such a lie but I was keeping him happy if that was the right thing to do.

The school corridor was busy with people hurrying to their register class those ten minutes would have to be the worse everyone just sitting there waiting for the bell to ring. It was just plain sad thankfully I was normally late so didn't have to go to it but today I was on time.

"Nice of you to join us Max." I glared at the women saying this to me I'd had Miss Harris since my first year here, we were never meant to be in the same room we just didn't get along. I nodded and headed over to Angel and Nudge who were deep in conversation.

"Hey Max nice to see you here." Nudge laughed.

"Thanks Nudge."

"Max you are wearing Make-up aren't you?" Angel screamed in a whisper but people still turned round.

"Yes why?" I was worried now because I'd thought I'd missed a bit.

" Cause you kind of look awful no offence. Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Thanks for pointing that out Angel and no I slept for three hours last night."

The bell rang and we departed off to assembly, they were so boring teachers just droning on about doing well and what the schools achieved so far this term, it was a waste of time in my opinion but am sure someone thought it was a good idea somewhere. The noise was awful as we approached the hall; good thing about being a senior is that we get the back of the hall. We waited on the guys just outside the door.

"Hi Max."

"Hey Fang."

We walked in together and took a seat, I'd forgotten that this was his first assembly; he'd be wishing he'd never joined the school after it. I looked over at Angel but she was busy looking for something to do instead of listen to that women talk for a whole hour and a half.

"Did you bring anything to do during this?"

He just looked at me. "What for?"

"This," I waved my hands up. "Is so dull nobody actually pays attention unless your in the first or second row and that's only because she looks at, it just plain creepy if you ask me."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Anytime."

" Can I have a bit of hush please, quiet please." The room hushed to a dull. "Thank –you and I welcome you back yet again and hello to the new ones. I hope this year is to be full of new adventures and I'd once again like to go over the rules of the school, does any one remember them." She looked around but no one dared to answer her smile became a little more forceful.

I stopped listening at this point and switched on my I-pod, god I wished that women would just shut up it's not even that important so two hours later everyone left the hall all a little glazed over from pretending to listen to her talk and now I was sitting in the lunch room wishing I'd never came to school this morning but I did get two miss my first to classes which wasn't so bad.

"So how did you enjoy your fist assembly here at Hawk high?" I could tell by the look on his face he hadn't enjoyed it.

"I'm off the next time we have one." His voice was so soft as he said this.

"I agree with you." I laughed at least he'd only be to one as for me who'd been to let's say one to many.

"That was awful, her voice goes right through me but I am looking forward to the dance." Nudge sounded happy that we were having a dance but every year we had them and they were just plain old lame, she was just happy because she got to go shopping.

" I agree just not with the dance."

I went to them every year purely just for new clothes and for Nudge and Angel and every time I did I'd bring some loser to mess around with but this year I had Fang but did he even dance am hoping he doesn't want to go because I hate school dances.

"So are you going to the dance?" Fang asked.

"Probably I go along with them. Are you?" My voice sounded so bored

"Yes."

"Cool."

Lunch passed really quickly and I was now sitting at a piano playing for my teacher only to be excused because she new I could play, so I went off to a practise room. I heard someone enter but I didn't stop playing because I was use to people walking in and out the room to get stuff. I came to the end of my piece and turned round to see who was there.

" Well there's a surprise. I didn't know you could play the piano like that." Fangs voice marvelled with curiosity.

" There's just some things you don't tell wouldn't you agree? And why are you out of class?" I was sure he was not the normal person to skip class guess I must bewaring off on him.

" I just had to hand some things into the office, would you play another piece please because you're really good." He did seem generally interested.

" Ok. Sit down then if you don't mind being late." Strange I only ever played for a teacher or me if they asked nicely of course. Angel and Nudge held no interest in my playing.

"Fine." He took a seat and waited.

I played the first thing that came into my head, which was one of the pieces that I was still in the process of writing. It started off really loud and angry but once at the end,it was soft and kind of sleepy in a lullaby way.

" That was truly amazing. I don't think you'll ever stop amazing me."

"Thank you I guess."

Nobody ever really commented on my playing and it was nice to know what someone thought once on a while. The bell rang and I headed to the car a waiting on my arrival.

" How was your day then Miss?"

"It was good apart from assembly's I swear they should be banded."

"If you say so. Were you sick this morning?"

"Erm, yes but it was outside." He didn't need to know about the other time.

" It was ok we were just trying to figure out who it was. Why didn't you tell any one?"

"I felt better after it." It was a lie but I did after a couple of hours."

"Oh. That's ok then."

The rest of the journey was quiet but I couldn't get it out my head that something still wasn't right and missing but I just couldn't put my finger on it. I was happy that I was able to finish the piece that I'd been unable to finish.

**A/N: Should I keep writing this story or not. I'd like to know what you think**


	10. Shopping and a Game

Music is reflection of soul so mine must be as angry as hell

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter and please please review my story cause people just seem to read and not leave reviews, which can be a little annoying, but thanks to everyone that has and for people that review, if people review I can put my chapters up quicker.**

Maxs POV

Music is reflection of soul so mine must be as angry as hell and evil and twisted, I lounged on the floor wanting something to happen, what I had no idea but anything would do. Being sick is crap, and the taste is vile the thought of it makes me gag. I think the floor has become my new best friend I spend more time on it than my bed and I can tell you that my bed is ten times more comfortable than my floor but having my head against the cold wooden floors made me relax a little. Brand New played from my laptop it was soothing listening to it. I glanced towards the clock six am, how I longed to be fast a sleep but that just wasn't going to happen.

I stepped into the morning air it wrapping it's self around me like a blanket, covering me with a feeling of coldness. A coldness that, I welcomed with open arms. The path was laced with ice so my steps were small but quick, the air fogged with each breath I took; it was a nice day for a walk. My walk took me to a park, the grass was lightly sprinkled with dew and the flowers just beginning to fade as winter approached but still there was some that fought against the coldness and others who hid.

I watched a bird swoop down and land graceful on a branch its tiny feet gripping the branch, its chest puffed out with all the new feathers. Wish I could fly I think it would be fun. I sat upon the cold bench sending shivers up my spine; my hands grasped the side as another wave of nausea hit me again. My breathing stopped to try and get the feeling away maybe I should go and see a doctor about this problem. Problem but what is it?

No there was no problem I was just being overly worried over nothing.

Watching at nothing passes the time at high speed and yet you never seem to notice one minute it's there next it's not like a magic trick. Magic tricks were good but they were just all illusions and after a while they begin to lose there coolness, which sucks but everyone, has to grow up at some point even if there's a voice in your head screaming at you to just be who you are instead of trying to be someone else someone wants you to be. The wind still whispered through the trees in a calming way making the leaves rustle and the bird flew away back to it's home. I think.

Nobody said nature would be this beautiful maybe I should come out more often and with warmer clothes. My hands clenched and unclenched as the numbing began to take over and my body gently shook as rain fell from the sky and landing down my back but yet the weather still couldn't entice me back to the house. I was hooked to nothing there was no sound there was no talk there was no traffic to be heard, there was I and I alone sitting on a bench in the rain looking at a bird no longer to be there but even I have limits and I didn't feel much like freezing today maybe another day would suffice. I rose and slowed myself to a turtles pace and walked back towards the house that I'd been trying to escape for a couple of hours but I had no watch so for all I know it could be only like six forty five, time keeping was not one of my strong points. If there's an animal that travels slower than a turtle then I was travelling at that speed, my dad's car sped down the drive way shortly followed by my mum nearly knocking me over.

They called themselves parents but they had never earned the right they were around for the first six months of my life and then got me a nanny who I didn't like because some how I ended up with Jim and he's been stuck with me ever since and then went back to work, in all honesty I don't think they could tell you how old I was but you never know they might surprise you, I'll be seventeen next month and this year they just might show up and actually get me something or not am not going get all upset about it. The stairs creaked as I went back up to my room hopefully no one had noticed my little escape earlier on.

"Where have you been?" Jim questioned his tone was laced worry. So near but yet to slow.

"I was out in the park just down the road." I was being honest so that was a start and would earn me some points later.

"That's ok, just stop being so strange in the mornings it's like your hiding something." His voice did seem to be a little sad.

"I have nothing to hide that I know of." He relaxed ever so slightly when I said this god only knows what was going through his mind at that moment.

"Carry on then." He waved me on.

My body was still cold from being outside for so long, so a shower was in order to heat up again. I slipped on a clean pair of clothes after all it was the weekend and what else do you do on a weekend but shop until you drop. I searched around for my phone but it was nowhere to be seen.

" Jim, Jim, where's my phone?" I screamed you'd of thought I'd just broke my foot. I could hear him running up the stairs.

The door was flung open. " Miss will you please not yell like that, you gave me a fright and did you think of just phoning it?" He let out a slow breath.

" Erm, no but thanks for the advice."

I walked out the room heading towards the phone ignoring the calls from behind me from Jim. I pick the phone up in some sort of daze and dial in the number. I hear a voice at the other end but my vocal cords won't work.

" Hello, hello is anyone there?" I could hear his voice sweet but lost among my thoughts as I registered the fact that I'd called Fang when I was trying to dial my own number.

"Hi." My voice sounded weak to my own ears it quivered ever so slightly but the dial tone was the only thing to be heard at the end of the line.

I took a deep breath and this time dialled in the correct number, my phone blared from the living room and I stepped forward to get it.

"Did you get your phone Miss?"

" Yep."

I hurried back up to my room to get ready I'd sent Nudge and Angel a text telling them that I'd pick them up in a hour so we could go shopping and they both replied with a yes, in a way I guess that's what made us such good friends we all loved to shop but we all dressed totally different. I loved skinny jeans and band T-shirts but my shoes were always designers apart from my vans cause everyone wore them. Angel loved dresses she'd was the one person you could go to for a dress because she had one for every occasion and Nudge loved skirts to be either long or short she didn't care as long as they were made by someone people had heard of which I guess could make us seem a little shallow but that's just who we were, we had money so we might as well spend it. I looked myself up and down in the mirror my clothes were a little to tight for comfort but I haven't been to the gym lately, better watch what am eating today then.

I stepped into my garage full of cars, they were my dirty little secret cause guys seemed to freak out when you new more about cars than they did. I went through cars like guys I guess one minute they were in next they weren't. I glanced over each of them each one more expensive and more outgoing than the next but it would have to be my Aston Martin Vanquish today since there were three of us and it had the biggest boot so there was more room for bags.

I clicked the doors open and stepped in this was my home it sounds silly but this was the once place I feel at rest nobody watching you judging you. I pulled up outside Angels house and beeped the horn she hurried out the door, God when would this girl learn you cannot shop with high heels she would learn one day.

"This will be so much fun I was in dyer need of a shopping trip all my clothes are so old." She smiled and pouted in the mirror applying lip-gloss.

" It sure will be and by old you mean you've worn them at least twice." The girl was so vain.

" I've worn them a lot of times, don't be mean. Drive" She command but I new I was right.

Nudge was standing outside and jumped in the car.

" How are we all?" She smiled looking us over once.

"Fine"

"Can't wait to go shopping." Angel couldn't sit still in the front seat and for once she didn't comment on how I was driving. They'd never learnt to drive, which I can't understand why.

The car came to a halt and both Nudge and Angel ran out the car, you would of thought it to be on fire, I let them walk off well more run off and went to look for a space the atmosphere was much calmer now that they'd left the car. I walked back to the shops but at a slower pace unlike them I went shopping to mask anything that was happening in my life, they shopped because they had a problem. We once had a bet to see who could last the longest I won but just, Angel freaked after the fifth day and nudge lasted two weeks, which I thought to be quite remarkable.

" There you are, it took you long enough to park, see this is why I don't drive, with all the hassle of parking." Nudge shudders at the thought of it.

I looked around for Angel but could see no sign of her. They hadn't waited on me and for that I was grateful; I could just imagine Angel tapping her foot in anticipation with her arms folded and a small pout.

"Angels in the changing room trying on a dresses for the dance."

"Cool."

I began looking through the racks but nothing was jumping out at me which was unusual cause this was one of my favourite shops. I walked over to Angel to help her with her dresses. I'd liked the pink D&G one she had on but apparently it was sitting all wrong how she can say that I don't cause she looks great in everything.

" What about this one?"

She twirled round in the mirror it was a lavender colour with a hint of pink through the bottom. The dress hugged her in all the right places and hung gently above the knees.

" It's lovely."

" Do you think so?"

"Yes Angel you look lovely in it." She loved to hear how she looked all the time.

" I think I'll get it but I need shoes." She looked over at me with a sly smile.

" No way, you know the rules, you are not allowed to borrow my shoes and I will repeat that again not allowed. Was that clear enough?"

"Yes." She seemed a little put out by this but my shoes were like my cars I hated when people took them.

" On the other hand I will help you find a pair that will match your dress." Her head picked up at this and there was a smile on her face again.

" Guys can we leave this shop cause we've been in this one for two hours."

"Sorry Nudge where would you like to go?" I asked.

" Any where will do I've bought my dress and shoes. It's only you left now."

" Ok then since you guys want me to go to the dance I'll need a dress and shoes but first we should go for lunch cause I'm starving."

They nodded in agreement. We sat down in Ben and Jerry's eating together as though nothing was wrong but the smell of food was making me feel sick maybe I should go and see a doctor, maybe am dying, I laughed at that thought even I wasn't that dramatic but something was still missing from my life and I didn't know what.

" Come on Max it's time to get your dress." Nudge tugged at my jumper bring me out of my little daydream.

"Sorry, you were saying?"

"We're going to get your dress."

"Ok."

The first dress I tried on was to small, which made me cringe a little cause I'm always a size zero and have been since I started school. I took a deep breath it wouldn't

Kill me to be a size bigger cause I did really like the dress. The size one was ok but a little snug but I didn't say any thing. The dress was a dark red with a black flower implanted on the side.

Shopping for shoes was never fun with Angel she took everything so to heart and by the time she'd chosen a pair both Nudge and I were ready to go home and sleep.

" I'm going to go look at something so I'll be back in a minute, ok"

"Yeah fine, we'll still be here even thought Angels bought her shoes." Nudge laughed and waved me off.

I need some new music but wasn't sure what I wanted, so I began my long flick through all metal and rock maybe I'd come across something total random and like it. Some one tapped me on the shoulder making me jump.

" Hey Max, long time no see."

" Hi Mat, sorry I've been kind of buys, what about you?"

" Work that's what's been up, that's all I ever do now." His voice was saddened by this fact.

" Sorry to hear."

And I truly was Mat was a great guy he'd went to the school for a year and had been a good laugh but he'd left just last year and was now working in Zavi which he hated. I really should talk to him more often but I just bought most my stuff of line now and that was just out of pure laziness on my behalf.

" How have you been?" He asked.

" Been better and seen worse, is there any new music in yet?"

" By the way you go through music there's no chance in hell that there is but don't tell any one I told you that I'll lose my job for scaring away good customers." He laughed.

" My lips are sealed. See you later my friends will be wondering what's happen to me." We hugged and then I left.

" See you next time am here."

The car journey was silent as they each looked over there new things. My eyes closed slightly as I dropped Angel off. The house looked empty as I parked in the garage, my car needed a clean I'd have to tell Jim. The door swung open and I carried on up the stairs. Guess they were all out, I think my family strongly dislikes me cause I wouldn't quite put us a hate yet, they're always leaving and never bother to tell me which at times can be a good thing and others not so good. I flicked through the T.V channels but nothing was jumping out at me so I went off to my room and phoned Fang whom didn't pick up.

That day it had finally clicked as I drifted to sleep, I now know what I've been missing and I had been so stupid not to notice it.

Fangs POV

Iggy was picking me up at eleven so we had plenty of time to get our seats and other things needed, I waited outside for the car to arrive. I heard it pull up just as I raised my head.

" Hurry up will you I'm kind of late to pick up Gazzy." His voice quick and out of breathe.

"Fine."

I hurried into the car, he'd driven off before I'd had a chance to close the door so we must have been pretty late, I hadn't noticed but time keeping had never been my strong point.

" You looking forward to the game?" I was trying to make conversation cause he seemed a little stressed out for some unknown reason to me.

" Yeah it'll be fun, New York Knicks are sure to win, I've never missed a game since the age of ten that was the one thing my parents always kept to it was a kind of bonding thing."

" Cool, I just want to go to the game because I haven't be to one in over a year."

Moving house had taken a lot of time up and my mum just didn't have the money at the time but Iggy didn't need to know that.

" What was the last game you saw?"

" Baseball Boston red Sox vs. Cleveland Indians, it was a great game but nothing can beat baseball."

"Some would argue with that. There's Gazzy coming now."

The rest of the journey was spent in anticipation to make sure we got there on time, which thanks to Iggy we were. He drives a little mad so how he passed I'll never know. The seats were amazing we sat right down the front and the crowd was wild when the cheerleaders came on as they warmed up the crowd.

"These are amazing seats." Gazzy spoke from the side of me he was practical drooling over the girls.

" Sure you don't mean the girls." For that remark I got punched in the stomach.

" Am sure." He didn't sound it though.

"Fine."

The game ended with us wining so that was a good thing and the journey home was a lot more enjoyable than the journey in had been, all of us were in high spirits. I was dropped off and greeted by mother, which on a Saturday was an unusual thing; she was normally still working and wouldn't get back till ten. Since moving here my mother had become a workaholic, I have no idea what the big appeal is to work loads and get very little in return, maybe one day I'll find out.

" How was the game?" She leaned in and gave me a hug I hadn't even had a chance to step in the door.

" The game was great we won." I smiled

I shrugged her off trying my hardest not to offend her and headed to my room, it was still early which was kind of crap, I had nothing planned so I guess I was just sitting around all day. I sat on the floor sketching out some of my artwork for this year. My mum called up at about nine to tell me that she was going out somewhere, in all honesty I didn't care, she arrived back in at the back of twelve I'd been drawing all that time and it was nearly complete.

" Your still up." My mum half staggered into my room, her eyes glossed over in the light.

" And you are drunk"

" Nope, not at all." She tried to move but stopped and laughed.

I walked her through to her room and switched the light off, she could deal with herself, I'd thought she had gone to work obviously I was wrong. She'd been out and would be paying the price for it tomorrow morning, oh well she was old enough to know better. By this time it was nearly two in the morning so I too switched my lights and headed off to bed.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed. The next chapter will be better this was a kind of filler.**


	11. Family secrets

**A/N; hope you enjoy this chapter and it's a little short, Please, please review my story because I'd love to know what you think of it so I can make it better. And Enjoy.**

Max's POV

Ten O'clock

Eleven O'clock

Twelve O'clock

One O'clock

Two O'clock

I walk around my room like a caged animal trying to plan its escape.

Tears incrusted to my face.

Three O'clock

Four O'clock.

I give up on sleep and sleep gives up on me.

I sit at a table at a café in the night. Escaping from the house that I was just unable to sleep in, thoughts rolling through my head, giving me ideas. Ideas that I'd normally never have. The coffee scolded and left a bitter taste in my mouth the back of my throat was numb from the intake of coffee and still the sleep evaded my body but that could now be for the fact that I was on my tenth cup.

How I found a café that is open at five in the morning I'll never know but when you drive for long enough you find one.

The streetlights reflects my own reflection on the window I was a mess in all truth I was more fucked up than I was before I went to that rehab centre. My eyes bloodshot and puffy, with dark circles under them and my cheeks marked with salty tears.

When you cry for five hours straight your head feels like it's about to explode, the conversation played repeatedly over in my head again with myself. I'd taken a pregnancy test and binned it straight away because my hands had been shaking so badly stuff like this just doesn't happen to me. I was good at hiding things; nobody ever noticed how I was feeling unless I was raging.

If only I hadn't gone to rehab I could have got rid of the thing I am now responsible for.

Two lives instead of one.

How I ended up taking a pregnancy test I'll never know, it was just something nagging at the back of my mind. Urging me on until it wouldn't leave me alone. Haunting me when awake instead of being haunted during sleep. Sleep, god that sounded good but you know how when you stay up so late your body just can't sleep anymore even when you want and then half way through the day you crash from tiredness.

A life is just made up of emotions some of which we can control and others we can't and the ones we can't control they scare you or they take control of you ruling each decision you make but the ones you can control you harvest making them wield into a valley until they take over the ones that try to take over you and they are then banished. Control and patience are gifts neither of which I seem to have.

I waved the waitress over. "Another coffee please and a cookie."

"Ok dear but you really should be heading home now your parents will be worried about your whereabouts." Her voice was soft like a silk scarf. Warm and welcoming like coffee but dangerous like the boiling water at the same time.

"You'd think that but my parents don't give a damn about my life and there going to dislike me even more with the news I have to tell them." I must sound mad like someone escaped from a mental institute.

"Ok dear." She uttered.

She walked away with a quick turn and I slouched on the couch this was a good café if only I could remember where I am then I'd come back. Maybe I should ask her.

I carried on with the argument I'd been having now for the whole day; wasn't I one lucky person.

Do I tell Fang?

He'd freak and then…. Then what. I had no other thoughts I was empty hollow like I'd lost my mind like it had just left the building that was my body.

Fang what would Fang think to begin with; would he be sad angry or hurt that I didn't tell him the truth but no matter how many times I dialled his number I'm never able to push the call button. It was there mocking me, taunting me and telling me how pathetic I was. I still hadn't known Fang for that long but since his mum was a single mum I don't think he'd be too happy to here about me. I was just another mistake in someone else life.

My head buzzed with activity as I took another sip of coffee, two months and I hadn't even noticed god I really did need to pay more attention to my life instead of what I was wearing. Vanity was not a nice trait to have in life.

Two months to late to change what I've done. Maybe my parents are right I just let the family down over and over again, leave a mess and expect some one else to deal with it but for the first time in my life I was going to prove them wrong show them that I can and will be the best person that I can be but where do I start?

I strode out the café, pretending that the last twenty four hours hadn't happened after all I had school in a hour now so I'd have to get ready and act like nothing had changed. I looked about for my car but until now my memory was a little hazy because of the state I'd left the house in.

The drive home was peaceful nobody there looking at me and telling me things that I all ready new. The car pulled up outside my house and outside on the drive way was Jim tapping his foot to a pretend beat with his arms crossed and his face screwed up. I took in a slow deep breath to calm the nerves of coming out the car.

"Where have you been? I went to wake you up this morning and you weren't there your phone just kept ringing." His voice was tight with worry.

"I needed some air and a place to think for a while. Is that a crime? Now excuse me I have to get ready for school." I ordered but that wasn't the right because my voice was weak and contorted with pain at the knowing of the secret I held.

"Don't let it happen again. I was worried." A small sigh escaped his lips in a way I did feel some sympathy towards him out of all the people he could of looked after in the house he got me, wasn't he a lucky person.

I stepped into my room and looked my self in the mirror you could see a slight change in my appearance but you'd have to be looking hard to notice it. I done a quick change nothing fancy just a pair of All-star and skinny jeans and a pink top. It was my make up that took a while trying to do a cover up of my late night. I had two minutes to get to school so I was going to be late but I could live with that. The breakfast table was scattered with leaflets of some sort so I just sat on the sofa and had a cereal bar. I had had a whole day to come to terms with me being pregnant but yet my head was still unable to grasp the idea. I was going to be a mum. Another, statistic to add to, the governments records of single parents.

I stepped into my art and design class, Miss Crawford just gave me a stern look but said nothing and for that I was thankful. I placed my head against the table trying to ignore the small drumming in my head from the late night but it wouldn't go away and the class was not helping the matter all talking with one another.

"Nice to see you were planning on joining us today Max." Angel giggled behind me as we stepped into to the canteen at break. Another stab to the head.

" Don't worry yourself I was going to show at some point today and here I am." My voice sounded like I had a cold.

"That's good to know." More pain for my head to deal with.

Fang sat at the lunch table. The noise was unbearable this was the reason I didn't come to school with a hangover but I didn't have ones but god it felt like the same thing. I didn't want to meet his eye but I had to. I had to pretend that nothing was wrong and just breathe but the food was not the least bit appealing. I could just skip, but where would I go?

" Max pay attention will you." Nudge gave my shoulder a small shake,

" Sorry you were saying." I was so tired; it was taking a lot of effort to keep my eyes open never mind having a proper conversation.

They started talking again but my mind was elsewhere. They noticed but didn't say anything. I excused myself from the table and the noise roundabout me. I walked for a couple of minutes and found the tree, the tree that has my initials in graved into it from the first year I was here. I'd always been a strange child, and my parents were never happy that I climbed trees, got into fights and that I just wasn't them. It didn't bother me; after all they tell you not to copy other people at school and I was just taking in the advice.

I sat on the sturdiest branch and just watched the people go pass thinking that no one else could see or hear them. It was nice up here and I hadn't sat up here in over a year now and began to look for my name and there it was slowly fading away. To be replaced with another one day. The world it's self was becoming a blur I had no clue what to do. Leaving was looking like a good option and nobody ever had to know, I could give "it" away, I'll just stop school and just get up and leave, turn my back on everything I new. I heard the bell ring but didn't move I liked it up here and nobody would ever find me because nobody ever thought to look in a tree when someone isn't in class and especially not me cause it was after all a regular routine of me missing class and Nudge or Angel would cover for me if some one asked of my ware about after all that's what friends are for aren't they. At the way my life was playing out I'd be able to write a book on it, wonder if anyone would buy a book written by a teenage drop out? I wouldn't but I guess someone would somewhere in the world. Am not the only person in the world to have a child before there married even if it doesn't happened in my family but there all just stuck up but every family has there secrets and I'd know become one.

Fang POV

My mum had been avoiding me, well not to those exact terms she wouldn't look at me straight in the eye and in the morning she would say "Hi" and that would be it, and last weekend was never brought up but I had a funny feeling she hadn't wanted me to know about it. Which I guess was an ok thing since she was the adult but if she was seeing someone it would be nice of her to tell us, just for a little warning instead of randomly coming home drunk one night but somepeople were just strange that way.

They sat down at the table all huddled together chatting away like there lives depended on it. Max gave me a small smile but it never reached her eyes like there was something else hidden behind the façade she had up. I'd ask her in English, if she stayed that long.

"What you doing this weekend?" Gazzy asked.

"Nothing because right now work seems to be the only thing on my family's mind and it has no concerns to me what so ever. How was yours?"

" You just had to say that your weekend holds nothing of interest instead of the whole life story thing and my weekend was pretty much the same."

The bell rang and I headed to art, a time where one can just be yourself and express the emotions hanging on the tip of your tongue.

I slipped my I-pod in to listen to during class Three Days Grace blared through my speakers putting my mind at rest and I just drew for two hours straight I drew and at the end of it, it looked great not trying to sound to full of my self.

I couldn't be bothered with lunch.

With all the hassles and people talking to loud and all the other disgusting things people do at lunch. So I left and went for a walk around the campus having never done that before it was quite interesting. All the places they hide away and it's right under your nose and all the things people hide from prying eyes is really quite astounding.

" Hi Fang."

Max called out but I couldn't see her anywhere, great I was hearing things now. I looked around but still couldn't see her but her voice still rang clearly in my head. Is hearing voice not one of the first signs of madness? I was losing my mind and I wasn't even old yet or old enough to lose it yet anyway.

I carried on with my walk but nothing was holding my interest anymore, Max was now the only thing on my mind, funny how that happens one minute your fully focused on something and next your not. Being outside was only good for a short period of time and the amusement was now wearing off.

" Enjoy your trip to wherever you went? Where did you go?" Angel asked.

"Yeah it was ok. I went for a walk nothing of interest to you anyway. " I tried to keep my voice pleasant but it wasn't working so well.

" You didn't happen to see Max did you cause I needed to ask her something?"

" Nope I haven't a clue where she is."

And hearing voices doesn't count, I was too beginning to wonder where Max was, this had been one of the first days we hadn't spoken since her little disappearance. I'd see her later, hopefully.

"Well if you happen to see her could you tell her that am looking for please?"

" Yeah that'll be fine." And with that she walked of with Nudge again.

Later arrived and she wasn't there in English I spent the whole time glancing over at the clock waiting for it to ring just so I could phone her. I must of looked like a complete reject glancing at the clock every two minutes

I'd spent the last two hours phoning her and she just wouldn't pick up, was I really that desperate to talk to her?

That night when I sat trying to sleep, my thought process was going into overdrive and I had the weirdest feeling that I was slowly losing her and there was nothing I could do about it. As for the reasoning behind it I had no idea. Maybe something's weren't meant forever and as pathetic as that sounds, it just might be true. As William Shakespeare once wrote " The course of true love never did run smooth."


	12. Strange

A/N: Hope u enjoy this chapter. Please review and I have a new poll up concerning this story.

Maxs POV

A child is never to be heard only looked at but who the hell ever listened to that it's a load of bull if you ask me but someone somewhere thought it to be a good idea. Have you ever had one of those days were you should of just said in bed all day and not moved cause you'll only end up hurt, well my day was nearly as bad as that but there was still a couple of hours for me to fuck up some more. I've been trailing the internet for places to "go away" for awhile but there all so expensive and I'm a hundred percent sure my mum and dad would notice if I took two hundred thousand dollars out but I could be wrong. I was looking for a place to live because the thought of coming back here once it was born just made me shudder, I played the scene out in my head; I'd knock on the door and it would open and Jim would look at me as though to say "how dare you show your face around here." And then he'd look down and see the baby in my hands and shake his head in a disapproving way and slam the door in my face. I guess that wouldn't really happen but it just seems to me that would be the way for it to work out.

I could always stay with in the U.S borders or even New York, I'd just have to keep a low profile for a while and pray that no one was ever to notice me. I would become a shadow of the night, but that just sounds a little creepy, wouldn't you agree? I was thinking of selling my two hotel rooms since I would no longer have a social life like I use to. That then should give me enough money for a flat. How fun I was truly living the high life now, a flat and a child. I was just a mess but I had too keep my head through all this if I lost in now I'd never get it back. I was going to be a mum; the thought makes me shudder every time I think about it. In all honesty life couldn't get any worse than this but you never know.

My phone rang for like the thousandth time this day, I was just ignoring it if someone needed me they'd phone the house. This was one of the first days that I haven't been sick which is great if only I didn't know then truth behind the reason for being sick I'd be jumping for joy but if I done that right now I am in high risk of being sick.

A knock came from my door.

" Miss will you please come out, you've missed school today already and your parents are coming home this weekend." His voice pleaded trying to coax me out the room.

" I'm busy the now Jim and I'm going out later I have some business to deal with. How long will they be home for?" Great my parents were coming back I think this day just got worse.

" Just till Sunday and then their back to work."

" Ok. Thanks."

I could hear him walking away, so I now only had a three days till my parents returned, this is where the funny begins. I looked down at my ready-made list:

Go to the estate agency sell the hotel rooms and try to get Maggie's.

Find a doctor (which is harder said than done.)

School.

I slipped it into my pocket and headed out for the first time this day.

" That's me going out Jim, see you later."

" Miss please be home on time for dinner and be safe."

"I'll do my best."

I took my Viper out for a drive today, the city would be busy so I'd have to be patient, I was learning getting better at being a more mature person, it was just one step at a time. I was going to be a great mum or better than what mine ever was. I remember reading something once it was a play "For bring a child into this world when they really didn't have the time or the desire to raise him." At some points in my life it gets like that but I wouldn't want to just stop living, I might have no parents but my child will even if it it's just one. I would watch him/her grow up and be happy with what I've got not with what I missed out on in life. It wasn't too long before an old lady sitting at the office was assessing me. Her face scrunched together as though she'd just bitten a lemon.

" Can I please speak to Margaret?" The small women from behind the desk gave me the once over then dialled in the number never breaking eye contact with me.

" Who are you?"

" Max and tell her it's important please."

" I will."

I looked around the place she wasn't doing to bad for herself by the looks of things and by the car parked outside she was doing very well instead of the last time we met but she'd never bring that up.

" Max, Max God how are you? I haven't seen you in ages! Come in."

She ushered me through the door.

" Hi Maggie, am great and I also have a question or proposition for you that would sit a little better for what am about to ask." I could see that her whole posture had begun to move forward so I know that I have her interest.

" Go on I'm listening." Her hands flicked forward and settled on the desk.

" I want to sell my two rooms in the hotel."

Her eyes lit up at the thought of a good deal after all she was one of the best if you wanted to buy or sell anything she was the women.

" You have three of them don't you but yet your only selling two. How much do they make a year?" Her voice was licked with curiosity.

" Depends on how much I charge sometime on a good week I can make 5000 all you need is a fool and there daddy's money and they pay you to keep quiet, in a year they probably make between hundred thousand and fifty thousand." It was true but I didn't ever spend the money it was all in the bank after all Jim didn't raise a full.

" How much would you be selling them for? I might buy them off you." I'd new she'd want them in a way we weren't to different each out to get what others wanted and couldn't have.

" For both of them I'd want two hundred thousand dollars, I aren't to bothered what you do with them after that."

" Is that it, Max your practically giving these away?"

" I want them gone, apart from one which I can use if I ever need the money."

" Fine I'll take them how would you liked paid same as last time it's easier that way?"

" Just put it into my bank, you get the keys when it's in ok?"

"Yes." Her head bobbed up and down like a nodding dog.

I wasn't a fool, she had a gambling problem or should I say she was able to count cards and had been caught a couple of times. She was every casinos worse nightmare and I have no idea how may times I've saved her backside for it.

" Do you still own that tiny flat on the bottom floor?" This is what I wanted. I repeated that thought over and over in my head.

" Yes. Would you like it?" Her thoughts right now were probably thinking that she'd one the jackpot.

" Indeed I would but only for a year or two maybe five at the most."

"Ok but you'll pay rent every month ok."

"Fine by me. When can I move in?"

" Two weeks from now."

" Good, I'll see you then."

This is what I want, this is what I need it will be better in the long run that's all your thinking about just now. The future is all that matters forget what you had and remember what you'll get. This thought wasn't that comforting but it gave me a purpose and that it self was like giving a child its dummy.

Thoughts rolled through my head for the rest of the day, each coming up with more problems I'd be facing when leaving.

Was I ready to move out? No but did I have a choice nobody ever has to know about the biggest mistake of my life even if it's mocking me for the rest of my life but until my last breath is uttered I won't turn back. The child I am going to have will know nothing about my past or it's fathers. I looked towards my floor length mirror watching my stomach go up and down you could see a slight change but you'd never notice anything. I hope!

**Fangs POV**

Parents are just plain strange, my mums been busy every single day for the pass week going out every night, which isn't to, strange it's just the fact that she isn't at work. She seems to smile a lot more which is great it's just that she seems to be more distant like she's living a double life one that doesn't involve two children at home. It would be nice to know what's going on after all I do live in the house and care a lot for her. I don't understand why people keep secrets, secrets that are sometime so big they put friendships in the bin and worse could end up killing someone. I keep secrets but if it were endangering someone or something's life I would tell, even if that person felt betrayed at the time you'd be able to sleep knowing that you've helped someone else. I don't think I'll ever have any kids it's all, just to much work and a lot of money.

I've given up phoning Max now she just doesn't want to talk which is fine but it would be nice if we spoke once in awhile, I'd just stop altogether, I give up I have no idea what's going through her head and the harder I seem to try the more I seem to hurt myself. She's a jigsaw I can't put together even if it is killing me that we haven't spoken; I just want her to be happy so I'll just leave her alone from now on even though it's hurting me the now.

I watched my computer light, I so needed a new one not that I'd get one I believed that if something worked then you didn't need a new one no matter what but by the time it had set up I had no idea what the reason was that I started it up. I flicked through my bebo page but there was no matter of urgency to reply to any of the comments.

" Fang… Fang you still up?" Tanya whispered fro m behind my door.

"Yes. What do you want?" She truly was a strange child.

"I can't sleep and I can't find mum." Her voice was panic-stricken.

"Now that could be a problem, where did you look?"

" Everywhere except here!" Her eyes glanced round the room in case mum was hiding in the room.

" Ehm ok then. How can I help you?"

" Can I just sit with you just now?"

" Sure."

A couple of hours later, she was fast asleep on my bed, she looked so fragile lying in my double bed my heart went out to her it truly did, she had me as a brother and my mum as a mum what hope did Tanya have. I went downstairs and waited for my mum, to give Tanya peace.

The front door snaked open and my mothers head popped round the door, she hadn't noticed me lying on the couch staring at the blackness of the room. I heard a mans voice outside it was just a slight whisper but enough for me to here. " Love you." He kissed her on the cheek and she giggled like a stupid schoolgirl. " I love you to." My mum was in love with someone that we'd never met.

It had always been the three of us after Tanya was born and in all truth I didn't want anyone else in my life mucking up the family we had. We are happy we are safe and most of all we have each other.

I stood up as the lights went on.

" God Fang you gave me a fright! Why are you still up at this time?" Her voice was careful but held a steel edge.

" Sorry. Tanya's sleeping in my room because she couldn't find you and she obviously had a bad dream and I had to deal with it while you were out mucking around." My tone was deadly but that could be for the fact that it was three in the morning and I really wanted to sleep. I didn't function to well without sleep.

" I never thought." Her voice had changed completely now and she looked down at the floor like a child being given into trouble.

She never did think unless it was at work, she was a good mum but that would have to be one of her major flaws she never thinks things through enough.

" That's ok, we all make mistakes if we didn't life would become a little repetitive, don't you agree?"

She nodded her head and walked off upstairs. This was a long way to find out why the mother you thought to be a work alcoholic turns out to be dotting over another man, how strange.


	13. For the Last time

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter please review. Thanks to every one who has been reviewing it means a lot. My poll is still up, so please vote.**

**This chapter is kind of slow at the start but this I guess is Maxs way of saying goodbye to everyone.**

Max's POV

A family sticks together when no one else will, there bond being unable to break even when put under strain.

To gain respect you must then show it yourself and others will follow your lead.

I'd been up the last couple of nights deep in thought, trying to figure out the best way to say goodbye but my mind is blank like a canvas before the artist has begun. My life has still to be painted and to be remembered but maybe people shouldn't remember me I'm not exactly the best role model but am sure people have done worse than I have.

How would you say goodbye to a family you don't really care for, do you leave a letter? Tell them you're leaving? Or just walk away? Out of that lot I'd go with the third but I don't think just disappearing would be the best idea, because then I'd be on the news and so on and so fourth. Just get up and leave sounds good but that won't work so I think I'll leave a letter it seems the sanest thing to do. Wouldn't you agree but what do I write in it?

I have another couple of hours until my parents arrive maybe they'll spark an idea inside me.

The car door slammed shut and out stepped my mum people were forever saying we looked alike and that does my head, I'd rather have no resemblance to any of my parents. Yes she had blond hair but that was it her taste in clothes is horrible you should see some of the suits she wears I wouldn't give them houseroom. She once wore a bright orange suit, I still have nightmare about it to this day. My dad followed shortly behind her, neither looked over the moon about greeting their children. Ella and Ari stood behind me with smiles plastered to their faces, I couldn't wait for this weekend to be over so all the fake-ness could stop we weren't a family we might look like one and you could sit us down at a table and we'd talk but if you stopped looking through the glass window you'd notice the strain smiles and uneasy breathes being taken as one of us started to speak, we'd all learnt to lie to ourselves so nobody would think anything of our strangeness. Lying is sometimes the best but worse trait a person can have you could lie your self into submission and not think a thing about it until someone points out the obvious and then when the truth hits it hurts like hell, blistered from the perfect dream world you were living in but it happens and in time you learn to stop with all pretence and farce that life was better living in a lie instead of facing the truth. Their steps inched closer to ours; Jim looked over at me " Please behave."

"I'll try my best."

He sighed but said no more after all there was no point getting into an argument right now that would just seem strange I hadn't even said hi to my parents yet.

"Max." My mother greeted me like a work college she dislikes her nose turned up at the sight of me. Why do I even bother being civil?

I nodded and headed back inside no point being outside when you're not wanted, I looked at my dinning room table it was set out for all five of us but it was all just a pretence, so people wouldn't talk at there work when they never went home, never answered there mobiles they were just stopping gossip from taking over there life and just to show that maybe somewhere in their twisted minds they actually cared for their three children but they never once stopped to think of their children the three people who had to live each day and pretend that it didn't bother them having no parents, Ari and Ella are to young just now to understand but when they grow up they'll be like me, hating their parents and fucking up their lives even if they work their backsides off now. I use to be like them but each day when you wake up and your caretakers there waking you up that's when you know that your not a normal child because if you were at least one of your parents would be there to kiss and wake you up and make you breakfast and drive you to school and say they love you but mine weren't. They were there for three years and then just stopped caring.

You know my life wasn't always like this there, I remember when I was three my dad took me to central park and we played there all day I had no worry or care it was just me and my daddy but I'd never admit to that now, after all it was all in the pasts some things are meant to change but you never know the reasoning behind them. Life was just one big strange affair.

_I looked over at my dad and ran to his opened arms he swirled me round till I felt really dizzy, he smiled down at me and placed me on the ground, my legs feeling like jelly. I ran as fast as my small legs would carry me as he slowly caught up behind me. I screamed as he tickled me. There was no worry or thought that day, apart from the fact that it was going to end. I sat in bed that night as my parents read Little Red Riding Hood that was my favourite story when I was a kid. My parents both kissed my cheek and departed from the room. _I don't know why I remember that part of my childhood after all it is quite insignificant compared to the rest of my life but it made me happy to remember how my life use to be before my parents became workaholics.

The last note slid from the piano and I forgot all my worries and just played over and over again, this was my one escape in life no one could take, it away from me. I could feel people's eyes boring into the back of me they weren't listening to my music because people always assumed because I had no care for what happened in school I was just a complete failure. So it gave them something to talk about. If they were talking about me they were leaving someone else alone.

" Max I haven't heard you play like that since, forever." My father stood behind me with a complete look of surprise, he went to clap me on the back but I flinched out the way.

" It was very good, who wrote it? I'd like a couple of there things to listen to." My mother looked at me with sheer dislike but she still had the cheek to smile at me.

" She never recorded anything, it was just songs that made her happy, and she left them to me." I'm not even going to say I wrote them because both of them will just laugh.

"That a shame."

" I know but at least someone's able to play them. To show that she was able to do something"

" That's very true my dear. What did you say her name was?"

" I'm not sure. She just a nobody and she'd like to stay that way."

Was she being serious "Dear", god I was not her "dear" or for that matter her anything. She leaned into whisper something but thought better of it and stepped away. Her heals tapping down the wooded corridor.

" If you say so."

And once more we were greeted with that unwelcome silence the one where you can hear every breath and every cough just to make matters worse, they pretended it wasn't there and just acted like nothing had changed. I couldn't play like this with everyone's beady eyes burning holes on my back. I excused myself from the room and collapsed on my bed, I wonder if all family's function the way mine does but that would just be unreal. It's hard to believe that in over seven months I'll be a parent. I put my I-pod on shuffle and just sat there, it was nice being in a room where no ones there, watching your every move. I let out a slow breath, I had this sudden urge to just scream, scream until all my frustration stopped and it just wilts back into its corner where it's suppose to be. Ironic really, I say I want to be alone but really I want to be surrounded by people to stop this horrible feeling inside, its hard to explain, its wrapping its way round my brain and squishing the air out my lungs making me want to curl up in a ball and just give up, just tell them all the truth. I look towards my window what was to become of me once I left the house?

God max pull yourself together, stop it you're digging yourself into a hole with worry. I was right no point worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

" Dinners ready." Jim called. Only four more hours to endure and then I was out of this place, with no worries and no care.

"Ok."

The table was laid out with a deathly perfection, each knife was inline with the fork and the napkins all folded like a fan, who actually cares if a forks out of place after all we are going to get them dirty because we have to eat with them. This all seemed pointless but that is my opinion and I am only one person but I'm a hundred percent sure others think it as well. If you looked close enough you could see your reflection in the wood. We only use this table when there here it pointless even having one.

" Glad you could join us Max. Are you honestly wearing that for dinner?" My mothers voice was hoarse like she'd been crying.

" Yes." My outfit wasn't that bad, it was a lose fitting top and a pair of jeans but as usual it didn't meet my mothers approval. I think she believes that everyone has to dress as dull as her.

"Fine then." She snapped and carried on with her conversation.

Right now I couldn't be bothered with her crap so ignoring all the glares being sent in my direction I sat down, keeping my eyes glued to the silver wear. I couldn't or wouldn't cope with this right now, I didn't want this to be my last memory the way I keep going on you'd think I was dying but you never know maybe I am just maybe. After all you never know what life's willing to through at you just to prove a point. The starters came through a bit of pâté with a small lump of toast but it had no appeal to me all I wanted to do right now was sleep.

" Max, how has school been?"

Like she doesn't know, " Great never better, in fact my music teacher loves me."

It wasn't that much of a lie I just simply picked my best subject and made my life seem better than what it was.

" That's great dear." There she goes again with " Dear" what is up with that it's just creeping me out, she never does stuff like that. I have to get out of here.

" I have to go now I'm off out tonight."

"Where to?" You could see the curiosity burning behind her blue eyes wanting to decipher an unanswered question.

" A friends house. Bye!"

"Bye."

They all acknowledged me leaving but nobody really seemed to care after all the main course was on the way and food was more important than me. She seemed disappointed with my answer but right now I couldn't wait to get out of this house and all this fake-ness and happiness it was unreal and so put on by everyone not just my parents.

I pulled out my LV suitcase and began to pack, just taking the essentials in case any things to happen while I'm gone. I glanced over at my clock nine P.M, my phone buzzed once more I picked it up and looked at the ID it was Fang again damn I'd been doing a really good job at avoiding him. I slipped the phone in to my pocket not before switching it off as of now I could have no interruptions. I wrote the letter and sat in on my dressing table under my heart-shaped jewellery box. Hope someone finds it. I wonder who will find it?

" That's me going now."

Byes echoed from through out the house, I was taking my next big step in life and this time I had no one to stop me. I closed the door behind me and not a single tear was cast from my tear ducts, I guess I'm not that sad about leaving any of them but at a later time I'm one hundred percent I will be but then again there's a time in everyone's life were it's filled with dread and moments where you wished you hadn't done that but right now I just have to focus on the now. I looked over at my cars this was the one thing truly upsetting me I could only take one car but which one would it be? I'd have to go with my Audi TT because it would have to be the blandest out of all my cars and the new steps off my life began as my car and I raced off down the street.

Maxs Mum POV

I had this feeling all day that something wasn't right, I know Jeb and I had let Max down plenty of times and I know that isn't an excuse but I feel as though I'm losing her like today was going to be our last meeting. Her face was stone cold when we'd met this morning and each of her spoken words seemed lost in a swallow of guilt or tragedy I couldn't chose so both will have to suffice. I wanted nothing more than to mend this already broken relationship but that was going to take a lot of work and I don't think either of us are ready for that yet. So yet again on this trip home I feel even more incomplete, I feel so much at loss with my emotions because nine times out of ten Max seems to be the centre of them after all she is the reason Jeb and I started out in the first place. I just wish things could have worked out better between us instead of having a feeling as though I'm drowning in this ocean of guilt and Max seems to be the only person able to stop it. Well I never know tomorrow might be a better place.

" Night Jeb."

" Night honey, I promise it will get better."

He seemed to know my every thought making me feel even more guilty Max had no one like that and she didn't even have parents. It truly was breaking my heart thinking about this.

I slipped on my clothes and ran down the stairs the house was bring back so many memories even when Max wasn't here, I ran straight out the front door not caring who I woke well slamming the front door and I just kept going, the best time of day, Dusk most peaceful also. The return back to the house was slow as my adrenalin began to slow, I collapsed outside the door with tiredness and I just lay there. Lack of sleep and a lot of thinking is not good for a person. I sat upright on the stairs as I heard someone approach.

" Hello. Madam, I thought someone was out after all why would you want to sleep in a house when you can stay outside it make no sense to me." He laughed a little to himself.

" Hello Jim. Why do you say that? I thought I was the only one ever to sleep outside."

" You're wrong there Max spends a lot of her time outside and nobody ever knows what she's doing sometimes she just disappears but she always comes back and it's always the same story; I was thinking and needed time by myself. I do worry about that girl."

" I know you do and I do to but it just seems to be lost on her no matter what I try."

" If you don't mind me saying she's still a bit upset that you sent her away the first time you visited this year and the fact that your never here as is Jeb and I know it's not my place but you brought this all on yourselves and I hope you fix the problems after all I remember how you to use to be with Max before you had all this and another two kids." His voice saddened at this fact.

" Trust me I remember to and I wish that I could go back in time and fix all the problems I've cause for Max and maybe just maybe she wouldn't mess up her life or at least live it with a tad more care that what she's doing just now."

" I think we all wish for that after all you never see her when she comes home at night and can't even remember her own name it is quite upsetting at times and I'm always the one to deal with her."

" I know and I wish it was me but she truly hates me and that's never going to change."

" It will one day but you both have to change one can't do it by themselves they always need a helping hand."

" I don't think any truer words have been spoken."

" Thank you madam, I will leave you now."

" Goodbye Jim."

I'm so glad we hired him to look after Max he has a smart head on his shoulders unlike a lot of people in this household.

We all sat round the dinning table minus Max of course but nobody seemed to notice, that all just seemed to pass with no care or thought that was until Molly the cleaner rushed in with an envelope stuck to her hand and a pained look across her face.

" It's for you to." She glanced at Jeb and I and handed it over. I noticed the writing to be Maxs urging me to open it faster Jeb stood behind me.

I slowly read over the letter.

_Dear Whom ever this may concern_

_I thought I owed everyone a letter to accompany their confused thoughts, I have left with everyone. I left big deal! It's no surprise really. I hated living in this house after all why live in a house where there is no love but finally something gave me a reason to leave even if my hearts not truly in it but one day it will be. This is short and I guess straight to the point because I don't want you to shed unwanted tears, so please don't act surprised when you wake up and I am gone. It's not going to cause much of a problem after all you were never there and now either am I._

_So simply do not look for me because I won't be found. Maybe one day we will see each other but I wouldn't be holding your breath on it. You might wonder why there's a song placed inside a letter because I thought it told a nice story and since mine is not I thought that to be of better usage for me to say my farewell._

_The day's last one-way ticket train pulls in  
We smile for the casual closure capturing  
There goes the downpour  
Here goes my fare thee well_

_There's really no way to reach me_

_'Cause I'm already gone_

_Only so many words that we can say  
Spoken upon long-distance melody  
This is my hello  
This is my goodness_

_There's really no way to reach me  
'Cause I'm already gone_

_Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again  
Straighten this whole thing out  
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy  
This is the distance  
And this is my game face_

_There's really no way to reach me  
Is there really no way to reach me?  
Am I already..._

_So this is your maverick  
this is Vienna_

_We all learn from one another's mistakes and in the end you have a broken heart, trust me, I know._

_Yours truly, Max_

Tear roared down my face at a furious pace, I wasn't sure if I was angry sad or annoyed because she'd just upped and left, now I was never going to be able to fix this problem. Our family was missing a piece, there was this thing inside me being torn apart with each tear and breath uttered from my body. You never know what it's like to lose a child till it happens. I crawled my way through the sea of emotions and some how ended up on my bed hugging at this bit of paper for dear life as though that was going to bring Max back but I new it wasn't. Nothing was, I didn't want to carry on because deep down I new I was the cause of her disappearance and I didn't want to have to carry that with me. I wanted time and life it's self to cease just freeze over so I can become numb so this feeling inside me will just disappear and stop this ticking in my brain. I'm an awful person I let my first-born grow up to believe that she was unloved, I am a terrible parent. I wish the world would swallow me up and engulf all this pain and just make it stop. The world seemed a brighter place but now it seems so dull how I wish it could have been different but we all know it wouldn't have been after all everything happens for a reason even if that matter seems unclear at moment.

Jeb rubbed soothing circles on my back but that was making it worse anything I did made this feeling worse, every movement even small made it worse.

" I've called the police."

Did that make me feel better? No because I new in fact that the letter was true and my baby girl had ran away.

" That won't help Jeb."

" You don't know that."

" I do Max is smart if she doesn't want to be found then she won't be, don't forget she's a mix of both of us."

" That my dear is very true but let the law take it's coarse just now. Please!"

" Ok. Now please leave, I'd like to be alone."

I read over the letter again for the tenth time that day and the more I read the less sense it made, everything right now was a blur and it wasn't even a happy blur this was a confused and loss blur. Trapped by the loss of her child. How I wish it could be different but what do I mean by different because right now I don't have a clue about anything?

**Fangs POV**

We were all sitting round the dinning room table and you could of cut a knife through the atmosphere, and the silence was awful to. My head hurt due to the lack of sleep and Tanya just looks confused.

" Tanya. Fang. I have something to tell you."

Well that caught both our attentions.

" We're not moving again are we?" Tanya whined.

" No. Fang care to guess?"

" Not at all so please tell so this can be over and done with and then I can go back to bed and take a pain killer?"

" I'm currently going out with Jerry from my work and that's why I've been spending so much time out the house and I didn't want you guys to know cause it's always just been the three of us and I'd hate to see our relationships broken up because I'm dating again. So will that cause a problem with anyone?" Her eyes pleaded with mine.

" No not a problem mum." Tanya's face smiled with delight.

" Non at all. Now can I please go back to bed?"

" Yes Fang you may!"

"Thanks."

Monday morning arrived all to quickly and once again I was sitting in art class bored stiffed because I'd already finished my drawing, I was beginning to hate the fact that I was good at art cause everyone else seemed to work really slow or maybe I was just working to fast compared to everyone else. The interval bell rang and we all filed out the class.

" So have you heard the rumours then?" Iggy questioned.

" What rumours?" I swear to god this school is built on rumours.

" Well according to people Max has left school and has ran away, I think it's a load of bull if you ask me."

" It might not be Max is one strange girl at the best of time so maybe she just felt the need to up and leave."

" Nah this happened before and she'd just went to Malibu for a couple of months."

" If you say so, have you spoken to Angel or Nudge today?"

.

" Nope. Why?"

" Well aren't they not Max's best friends so wouldn't they have been told?"

" Guess your right Fang"

By the looks on Nudges and Angels face the news was true each of their faces were freshly tear stained and each had no make-up now that had to be a first and they both looked terrible. Meaning that in the nicest possible way.

The rest of the day seemed to pass in a buzz, every class seemed to fly by so when the home bell rang I was glad to be out of school away from all the gossip around Max, it was true but I didn't want it to be, I don't think anybody did.

" How was your day Fang?" My mother asked as I opened the door.

" Awful I wished I stayed in bed all day, the girl I think I'm supposed to be going out with has just upped and left with no trace,"

" I'm sorry to hear that." She rushed over and hugged me making all the air gush out my lungs.

" I think I go upstairs I just want to be alone"

"Ok, honey. If you need to talk I'm right here."

" Thanks mum."

Did I really want to be alone just now, I wasn't sure but I new that a part of me was now missing and I had a very rare chance of seeing it again.

A/N: Hope you like it!


	14. Loyalty,love and loss

**A/N: Hope you enjoy the chapter, please review and thanks to all that have so far and sorry it's taken me so long to update.**

_The star that rules thy destiny_

_Was ruled, ere earth began, by me;_

_It was a world as fresh and fair._

_Maxs Mum_

My mind can no longer become my escape it's now just a trigger waiting to be shot, it could be a bit of clothing or the piano. It sits there unable to be played collecting dust among the rest of the house. Haunted by the existence of my daughter knowing she's alive nobody knows what it's like to lose a child until they have themselves. The day she left she seemed so distant but still shut off like a rain forest before a storm. Her letter is now unreadable from the hundreds of tearstains but its there in my memory a lasting memory of my missing child. The seconds that seemed to fly by have now come to a grounding halt no matter what I'm doing. I spent a night in her room looking for something anything that would tell me where she was but there was nothing. Her wardrobe a colourful mass of dresses that had been left behind, I had always wondered what she done the countless of times we'd let her down and by looking I would say it was by buying shoes and dresses. The only person I could blame was myself, it was my fault for the countless times we'd not shown up due to a function or anything because I didn't want to see the mass of destruction I was leaving every time I turned my back on the one person I wanted to be looked up on.

The blame was placed squarely on my shoulders because all I could think was what if? What if I'd been there for her when she had been growing up instead of at work all the time or what if we'd just let her have a normal life? It wasn't helping my case by going through each and every scenario in my head but it was like a blanket of warmth being wrapped round me after being out in a storm all night.

" Stop it." Jim's tone snatched me away from my thoughts.

" I can't watch you waste away because of something Max is doing. Do you enjoy blaming yourself?" He sat on the floor beside me.

" Your face has seen so many tears it is beginning to think it's a waterfall, I can't take away the feeling but others can help to numb it. Ari and Ella have also lost their big sister but they carry on because you gave them no choice, they had no one to turn to but each other." His voice was saddened by this fact

" I'm blaming myself because it is the truth that everyone seems to be missing, I wanted Max and a career and I couldn't have both so I turned my back on her. In ways that I never did to Ari or Ella and if I do the same again I don't think…" Jim was right I was once again letting the past run my life but right now it was Ari and Ella that needed my help and it didn't mean I was letting Max down.

" Sometimes it is the truth that can stop us from living the life that God has laid out for us. Max has done this time and time again and every time she returns and most of the time she's only gone a couple of weeks or months in this case and if I'm right Max has left to clear her head. She might be young but there's apart of her in you."

" I know and it never bothered me before because I was always away from home and I new you'd coax her back no matter what it took." My voice in its self seemed soft compared to the dry throat croak I'd had for the past two months.

" Glad to know you had so much faith in me to look after Max." His voice was thankful.

" Max was only going to have the best and you were it and I wouldn't have some stranger looking after my first born now would I." Tears leaked down my cheeks again even when I forced them to stop.

" It will take time. This is not an over night healing process. One step at a time, if I'd panicked every time Max had done her disappearing act I would of handed in my resignation long ago." His words held nothing but the truth.

" Thank you."

" Any time."

He helped me to my feet and I walked out the room with my head held higher than what I'd entered it in. I had to trust Jim even if the better part of me told me not to but right now he'd dealt with Max longer than I had and the way he'd managed to convince me out the room I could tell he'd done it time and time again with Max. His patience was something never to be argued with it was just always there like a lighthouse on a cold winters night at sea. I had to be ready for the downpour that was coming when Max was ready to return. I guess it was my turn to explain.

" Where's Jeb?" I hadn't really left our room for weeks and I locked out the one person I could talk to.

" He went back to work, I think."

" Oh. Ok."

That surprised me I thought he would be worried about Max but he just seemed to carry on as though nothing had happened and I guess he was right to but that didn't stop the gruelling memories passing through my mind each night and day. Stop it. You just have to appear happy to others and Jim was right this wasn't going to just stop over night.

" Jim is there any place where Max would normally stay, say like on the weekends and stuff?"

" There's this these two rooms she owns in a hotel but nobody is allowed to step foot in there with out Maxs permission she had the owners sign a form. Even the police struggled to get in."

" So they've already checked it out then? How did she manage to get so much money? I didn't think we gave her that much."

" I'm afraid so but it was a good try you thought you were doing the right thing. She rents them out and you give her more than enough money to own ten of those rooms but don't worry she has them all well invested in different projects around the world."

" Can you take me there? Please?"

" Sure if you want to go and get ready I'll just finish this."

" Ok."

I looked down at my clothes and noticed the state of them. I wouldn't be caught in public with them never mind a five star hotel. Well I was guessing it was five star I'd never stayed in anything lower. Maybe by having a look here I would be able to register the fact that Max is able to live by her self and by the amount of things I've heard about what people have said about her I'm beginning to believe it myself.

Jim drove the car in silence and I didn't like it, it gave me goose bumps no wonder Max owned so many cars and had rows upon rows of CD's in her room and in the music room. That's another thing I'd need to ask her about. Jim wasn't my usual driver but it was nice to have a change even at times like these

" That's us here. Do you need me to come in with you?"

" I'd like that thank you."

Music greeted my ears as I entered the entrance, the music to my ears seemed lost in a trance an unwilling movement of feet tapping off the marble floor and voices hushed so others could not hear. The building it's self-held so much distance from the world it looked out upon but the inside was even more entrancing with each footstep I took towards the check in desk. I could have spent all day there just watching the people go by it was like a silent dance played inside each of there heads but I had no time to stand and stare. I could see why Max liked it here because everything seemed in a way so out of place if it had been anywhere else in the world. I guess that was how she felt at times. Amazing how something so shielded away seemed to capture my interest like an infant being shown something shiny for the first time.

" Hello and welcome how can I help you?"

"Yes I'd like to get into my daughters rooms please."

" Her name please."

" Max ride."

" Ah yes but I can't let you in, you'd have to ask her or you could speak to the boss."

" Can I please?" This was going to get me nowhere but it was always good to try I guess.

" If you'd care for a seat I'll just go and get him." She pointed over to two leather seats for Jim and I.

We waited for ten minutes and a small man who was as wide as he was tall greeted us like some lost friend.

" Sorry to keep you waiting Mrs Ride and Jim." His voice seemed formal but casual at the same time. His Hand shake firm.

" That is fine really it was only a couple of minutes."

" Ah yes but you never know a couple of minutes could of changed the reason why you sit before me now. Wouldn't you agree? Max is also one of our most guarded customers." He seemed pleased by this fact.

" I guess so."

" Never guess just assume it always makes thing much easier. Now how can my service be of any use to you or would you care to speak somewhere more private."

" Private would be nice." I had no idea what to make of this man but Jim seemed relaxed enough so I just followed him to his office.

" Please take a seat, would you care for a coffee or tea?"

Jim and I both shook our heads but the seats we took just out of politeness. I just had to get this over and done with because I still didn't trust this man. Mozart played softly from his speakers as he took a sip of his black coffee.

" Now please tell me your problem?"

" I have no problem just a question but I heard of the struggle the police had getting into Maxs room and I would like to go in myself and I wondered how she managed to keep them out for so long?" My voice filled with curiosity at the last bit so far Max had done nothing but amaze me.

" She spoke to me before she left and I am sorry to hear that she did. Max was and is one of the best things that happened to this hotel if it wasn't for her we would be closed by now. We made deal upon deal but we could never both agree she's not someone to mess with, that was until she came up with another idea if she promised she could get the hotel off the ground and in return I gave her the privacy she needed and nobody was ever to know about anything that was to ever happen and that's when the contract was signed up. It seems strange but my loyalty to her is far greater than anyone else in this business even when it came down to the law it self. Don't look so shocked Max is a loyal person even when she's in a bad mood, the person she is to fall in love with will be the luckiest man in the world. Now before she left Max said or made me promise should I say to tell one person but she never said whom. She had everything executed into one swift movement…"

" How did Max actually help you?" This was the one thing I couldn't get my head round, this man in some strange felt tied to Max just for a hotel.

" She has a critical eye and one day well passing by she obviously saw the potential of the building that I and everyone else had missed. She offered her help but I laughed in her face that was until the next day and I saw her standing there yelling at a middle age man because he'd hung something all wrong and to that day I've never doubted her again, this guy always seemed really tough when he'd been working but the way she acknowledged him you would of thought the roles had be reversed."

" She new you were failing before you'd even finished building?"

" I know I was puzzled myself after all she was only fourteen at the time but seemed willing to fight anyone that would challenger her. Now may I continue?"

He was giving me a choice. " Yes."

" She had everything executed into one swift movement except from the person or people I was suppose to tell so I am guessing that it's you and Jim. She said let them search my room both of them and don't let anyone know not even the police act as though nothing has happened as if I'm standing right beside them. Then once they are done take them to my second room the one the police have been unable to touch and just walk away after that remember nothing has happened. Then she just walked out my office as though nothing had happened."

" How did the police not get into the other room?" Jim questioned he seemed as surprised as I did.

" She only owned it for a year by herself and then she changed owners but never told anyone what the person looked liked so its like having a ghost after all we can only go in the rooms when Max allows us."

" Wouldn't the police not want to look if Max had changed owners?" I asked.

" Remember I'm to act as though nothing has happened you can take a look for yourself." He gestured towards the computer as the screen lit up.

" What am I looking for?" I felt so stupid asking the question but for all I new he could be showing me some code of some sort.

" Do you see Maxs name up at the top?" He waited and I nodded, as did Jim. " It says she's only ever owned one room even though she owned the both of them and when I asked she just shrugged it off as though nothing had changed. I think she new that something was going to happen but didn't know what." His voice was just as confused as the expression on my face.

I didn't know what to say, my daughter the one person I'd missed growing up seemed to know so much in such a small amount of time. Everything he said just seemed to shock me more and more like being hit with lighting over and over again.

" Can I see the room now please?" My voice sounded crippled and detached.

" Yes I'll take you there myself."

The lift was the only place that held any silence in this place. Each shape and movement I placed my eyes on as I made my way through the hall reminded me of her, the silent dance now seemed like a march to my ears.

" I shall take you to the room the police searched first, they made a real mess of the place but I can't touch anything because Max isn't here." He seemed saddened by this fact.

" Thank you."

" I'll stay here well you and Jim can go and check."

The door opened without a squeak and he'd been right the room had been turned inside out, everything scattered across the floor with no care. I had to remind myself that they were only doing there job but the sight made me angry this was my fault that her room was a mess but I couldn't move it was like my feet were stuck to the floor and no amount of force could move them.

" Are you alright?" Jim spoke from behind me but he seemed to be miles away.

I nodded but I couldn't be sure of my movement. This wasn't what I wanted to see everything felt so unreal everything lying motionless on the floor. I turned my back on the room this wasn't right. I didn't want to go through the stuff.

" We should go to the next room."

Jim nodded and called on the manger. His face hadn't changed at all it was as though nothing had happened. We went up another lift; I hadn't seen this one when I'd first entered the corridor.

" Straight ahead." He uttered and strode out the lift; Jim and I shared a quick glance.

He unlocked the door and walked away as he'd been told. I stepped into the room but this time nothing happened because I new what to expect well kind of. This room mirrored her bedroom in every possible way bar the wardrobe it was just a small Chester drawers. I walked round twice taking it one step at a time never making a sudden movement just in case I disturbed something but that was it there was nothing to disturb everything was set in the exact place even dust had not settled.

" Has anyone been in here?" I asked

But there was no one to answer as the little man had walked off, the fact still bothered me he'd missed stuff out in the story that much I could tell but I didn't want anymore heart ache this day

"Hmm."

Something had caught my attention on the bed there was a bright yellow piece of paper, so in truth nobody had been in the room apart from me even Jim stood outside with his back to the door. I read it:

_Something's aren't planned and even the best of us have to fall but we take it with in our stride to step back up again, no matter how hard the fall was, never looking back to hear the on slaughter of whispers that a preacher may want to speak._

This set my mind into over drive but everything I came up with was shunned away for reasons I couldn't even understand and I was coming up with them.

" Miss are you alright?" Jims voice called softly from behind the door.

" Yes." My voice gave me away you could hear the panic. This note wasn't meant for me she'd already left a letter it seemed to say a lot but I could not figure out what.

I guess I'd been wrong this wasn't going to make things any easier to deal with no matter how much I wanted it to.

" Lets leave." I walked from the room leaving the note behind maybe the person she actually wanted to read it would after all nothing was going to change that much I could tell. I took one look back before leaving the room hope your well Max. I thought to myself. I didn't want her to be gone, I wanted to repair the relationship we'd never had a chance to let grow.

For the first time in over twenty years I cooked dinner for my children and spent time with them so I actually learnt something and once again I had that sudden pang of guilt because Max wasn't here and either was Jeb.

" Mum it will be alright. We miss her to." Ella whispered. I looked at Ella she was nothing like her sister personality wise and just a tiny bit in looks.

" She always comes back. Max is just weird that way." Ari answered.

"I hope your right kids, I really do." They looked at one another but said no more it was as if they'd had a silent conversation in their head.

The silence was something I didn't offer to kindly to but we had no more to say to each other because we were all thinking the same thing. What if Max was here?

The phone rang at ten thirty that night startling me from my sleep, which was already haunted from losing Max.

" Hello." My voice leaked with tiredness even though I've hardly moved for the past two months apart from today I reminded myself.

"Mrs Ride I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour, I'm the chief inspector for the case of your missing daughter Max."

My breathing became shallower even though he said no more waiting for an answer from me. " Yes."

" We have discovered a teenager representing your daughter in an abandoned out house and we need you to look at the body." There was no softness in his voice just an understanding of the truth

No this was all wrong Max couldn't be dead. It had to be wrong it just had to be. I don't think I'd be able to live knowing my first-born had died before me. Tear poured down my face and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

" Mrs Ride are you still there?"

" Mrs Ride…"

" Yes?"

" It's not defiant that this is in fact Max but we still need you and your husband to take a look."

" I'll be down first thing in the morning."

And then the phone line went dead just like the possibility that my daughter was. Jeb wasn't home yet and I was all alone and for the first time in my life I felt scared to be alone this over bearing darkness began to crawl its way in me and promised never to let go.

Two heads peaked round the door.

" Mum are you ok we heard you crying again?"

Ella climbed on the bed and hugged me tight for a fourteen year old and Ari copied her lead. We fell asleep like that as though nothing on the phone had happened but it had and I was the only one to know about it but right now I didn't want to face it because if this was true then the amount of pain I was in just now would be nothing compared to what I was going to feel.

**Fangs POV**

Did I really want to be alone just now, I wasn't sure but I new that a part of me was now missing and I had a very rare chance of seeing it again. I still couldn't get my head round the fact that Max had this some sort of capture on me. I'd only known her for a short period of time and now she'd gone missing. An announcement was sent out through the school that if you new anything you were to come forward but no one did, everything was hushed you could hear the whispers and looks. Angel and Nudge looked as though they'd aged by like five years just because the loss of Max. It seemed wrong that a once happy school now represented a morgue and for reasons that I didn't understand from what I'd heard Max wasn't the best-liked pupil through out the school but teachers were just putting up a pretence when the police or her parents were up or should I say parent I'd never seen her mum. Still there was nothing anyone could do and I think that had to be the worst of it because we new she was still living but out of everyone's grasp like a needle in a hay stack never to be found. I guess she chose the way she wanted her life to be and just moved quicker than others did much more quickly.

" Fang please don't worry that much, Max is smart." Angel gave me a quick hug but that didn't take the pain away.

" I know she is but even the smartest person has to fall and I just wish this wasn't true that by just clicking my fingers it would all but disappear." My voice was grave and held no happiness.

" We all do." Her lips moved ever so slightly as though to say more but she couldn't, her eyes sparkled with tears yet again. " Sorry. It's just that I thought you guys were happy with one another. You seemed to be her one weakness in life if that makes sense to you."

" It does but we all have to learn to get past our weaknesses no matter how hard they are at the time."

" Nah it's not like that I don't think you were that much of a weakness just a well deserved person to her someone she was able trust even more than Nudge and I. We love Max but she's really hard to be around at times, she's so locked up and shut it's like looking at a blank book there are no words or pictures but yet it holds your interest. She's unique. " Her voice marvelled with admiration.

" She never seemed to be that locked up when I was with her, she almost seemed relieved to tell me some of the stuff she'd done and how she felt." Angel was now kind of confusing me.

" That's what I mean, silly. You made her happy when Nudge and I couldn't'."

" Thanks but that still doesn't make me feel better."

" Trust me one day it will and you'll thank me." She smiled at the last part and walked off as though nothing had happened.

Do you ever get the feeling that maybe for the first time in your life that you don't want to see what's behind the closed door in case there's something you don't like or something you'll love but can't have that's what I feel like right now because Max isn't here. Three months doesn't seem a long time but in that three months I'd met new people and I think I actually fell in love and then she does this disappearing act it's like I'm caught in a magic spell and even when she's away from me I think of her and it hurts like hell I still want to because at the same to time during the hurt I also get comfort if that makes sense.

School held no interest for me anymore it just seemed dull in comparison to what was going on in my head and roundabout me. The bell rang and I darted outside just in time for the rain to start. The house was silent due to the lack of people in it even with my music on it seemed emptier than usual if that's possible. The rain belted against the window like an intruder trying to break in the noise was somewhat entrancing as was the wind whispering through the trees. I was now outside due to the fact that the rain was cold and right now I wasn't in the mood to be warm and safe I wanted to be numbed to my core just so everything would stop but it never did everything continued as though the weather hadn't changed. My clothes clung to me as I marched through the streets getting strange looks from on passing people and drivers but I didn't mind because I was content in what I was doing. The rain masked my tears, it seemed weak of me to cry but I could no longer control it nothing could have changed my mind I missed Max to the point of destruction of my own self and everyone around me another two months had passed and still no sign.

My phone buzzed against my soaked jeans, making me shiver. " Hello." I repeated it again but no one was there. I didn't recognise the number so just ignored it and put it down to a wrong number but I felt this pang of panic strike through me what if that had been Max. What if she needed my help but that couldn't be right because well she's Max. It rang and this time it was my mum.

" Hi Fang. Where are you dear?" My mother sounded so happy.

" Drowning my sorrows with the rain." I sat down on the nearest bench.

" Oh. Well it's just to say that I'm going out tonight and Tanya's coming with me, are you sure your ok?" Her voice was now worried.

Well what would you say? " Yeah I'm fine, I guess I could be worse but then again I could be better." My voice was bitter almost to the point of cold.

"Ok." She seemed a little shocked by my answer.

" Bye." I wanted off the phone and just gave up.

Nothing changes even after all this time because even when time passes it doesn't mean you have to, you could stay in one place and no one would ever notice that you never moved because time had frozen you in front of that place. So it healed with you as an open wound that it wasn't ready to pick off just yet. I guess that's the way I feel most of the time. It was rather bad at one point when it was Maxs birthday because all these fresh wounds began to open up again. I sent her a text saying happy birthday and that I had a present for her if she wanted to meet up but there was never a reply. I got her a links charm bracelet with a love heart on it. My mum watched in despair as I slipped further away from her almost to the point that I was out of reach. I guess you never know true love until it slips from your grasp while cutting you along the way and all you can do is watch as others do. My father phoned trying to help my mum with me but our conversations were dry and awkward because this was the one department he couldn't help since he was now on to his third wife but it never hurt to try. It just hurt to think and anything else, I was never one to give anything away even from a tiny age but right now I wanted to talk to someone who I didn't know and didn't care but would listen just because they had nothing else to do. Even the wetness felt warm against my cold skin now.


	15. A bench A morgue London

**A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review because I'd like to know what you think. I'm sorry its taken me so long to update I've just had a lot of stuff to deal with and I lost half of this because my computer crashed so once again sorry.**

The tattered wings no longer have their contours; it dies a beautiful death...

**Narrators POV**

_When all is dark others assumes that no one can hear or see when a child cries in shock or a mother watches her husband sneak out thinking that she is a sleep but this is the world we live in where nothing can be kept a secret forever. Some just never understand the meaning of a secret when they hold so many close to there own heart. So I'll take you across town where two girls sleep one never to awake again, the place plagued in dirt and bacteria the police stand outside with a bemused look, you never want to witness a death but having to do that for your job doesn't even begin to comprehend. Don't you agree? The man takes out his phone and dials in a number his face grim but yet hopeful so maybe there was light still to be shone in the place that only the underworld could walk but right now that was not to be done. Death seems like such a simple thing at times but when your dead you never have to think of the ones you've left behind or the ones your going to meet but you never know maybe there's something there. Now if we were to go ten blocks down the road we would notice yet another girl covered in sweat from the restless nights and underlying lies as she tossed and turned in her bed but there is no one there to help her. On passers in the world can be at times amazing they see what they want and not what they can because then that would lead to having to care and then having to help and then when the time comes for them to ask for help they shan't get any and then wonder why but that's just the way the world was set up and who am I to argue with it. After all I am only an on passer just trying to help unlike the rest but I am not God. The world we live in seems to be controlled with secrets and lies but people act as though they have no effect on the people being lied to but they do and sometimes we just have to live with the consequences after all life's only trying to teach you a lesson._

**Max's Mums POV**

_The complexities moving in,  
and I feel that I do not have the strength,  
tragedies plaguing me solemnly  
It's affecting my will…_ The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

It was like instant replay but it wouldn't stop it just got louder and louder to the point that it was screaming in my head, people say your starting to go mad when you hear other voices inside your head but there were only three and one of them were mine did that still make me mad? Maybe madness was going to be my escape, the thought sounded so tempting but I couldn't I still had Air and Ella.

" _Hello." My voice leaked with tiredness even though I've hardly moved for the past two months apart from today I reminded myself._

"_Mrs Ride I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour, I'm the chief inspector for the case of your missing daughter Max."_

_My breathing became shallower even though he said no more waiting for an answer from me. " Yes."_

" _We have discovered a teenager representing your daughter in an abandoned out house and we need you to look at the body." There was no softness in his voice just an understanding of the truth_

_No this was all wrong Max couldn't be dead. It had to be wrong it just had to be. I don't think I'd be able to live knowing my first-born had died before me. Tear poured down my face and there was nothing I could do to stop them._

" _Mrs Ride are you still there?"_

" _Mrs Ride…"_

" _Yes?"_

" _It's not defiant that this is in fact Max but we still need you and your husband to take a look."_

" _I'll be down first thing in the morning."_

Maxs Voice spoke softly in my ear whispering thoughts a mother should never think and then when I thought she was going to say something nice and reassuring she'd blame me. _" Its your fault." " Your right for blaming yourself." _I had to keep telling myself that this wasn't actually Max just my imagination getting the better off me but it all felt real. My phone rang from the distance but I could see it with in my reach but yet it felt a million miles away and when I pulled it to my ear it was like lifting marble. The roaring in my ear made it hard to hear but I didn't want to listen after all my last phone call had nearly been the death of me. "_Something's aren't planned and even the best of us have to fall but we take it with in our stride to step back up again, no matter how hard the fall was, never looking back to hear the on slaughter of whispers that a preacher may want to speak."_ Max whom do you want to find out that you're missing? What you hiding? I need help because right now I'm stuck and it hurts like hell being unable to help, helpless like a dying man at sea he asked for no saviour just forgiveness for what he's done. Nobody ever had to know where I was going because I didn't want my family to suffer the same as me, I had to protect them the way I never had before. The wind whipped across my worn face as I pulled my jacket up a little more. Can the weather give you signs on what's going to happen? I didn't think so but heck you have to believe something in times like these. Everything was silent minus the wind but that was a welcome in the street where there were no cars or people but a light, a light shinning in all this darkness. The door slowly opened even the place looked and smelt of death but I have no idea what death smells like but the air was cold and the hairs on the back on my neck stood up giving me a clear sign that I did not want to be here.

" Mrs Ride?" A bald man asked from behind the desk.

" Yes." My voice covered only a monotone

" Please don't look so contorted there's a high possibility that this is not your child." He seemed pleased with this fact.

" Well until then there is no light at the end of my tunnel. I just have to know the truth no matter how hard it is." No tears leaked from my tear ducts I was like a robotic women showing mo emotion.

" Is there anyone else here for you?" He looked around as though I might be hiding someone underneath my coat.

" No because nobody has to know right now." My brows knitted together in frustration.

" Madam maybe someone should be here." He looked me up and down and came to the conclusion that I should be strapped up and taken away but he said nothing.

" No."

" Ok. Please take a seat and someone will be here shortly to show you the body." There was no warmth left in his voice making the room even colder than before.

" Thank you."

" Ah Mrs Ride please don't look so worried and please proceed to the morgue." The man was tall with a slight muscular tone but you wouldn't have noticed if he'd had on his white over coat as he gestured towards the open door. For people working where there was only death to be found they seem like happy people and I couldn't get my head roundabout that fact.

I nodded and followed his lead, the room shone like the stars at night everything was so clean and pale and there in the middle of the room held a single silver bed and a body with a plastic cover over the top I was two steps away before I stopped to think did I really want the last thought of my daughter to be of a cold and lifeless form but it had to be done. He pulled back the sheet and stepped back. Nobody else had to get hurt through my own stupidity.

" Take all the time you need I know this can be a hard process."

I nodded and took the final steps forward. Tears still evaded my eyes even when face to face with a body not even out of relief that she wasn't Max but I felt nothing and maybe that was a welcome because at last I had no fears left for my daughter except that she was never coming home but what is a home without anyone to share it with who you believe not to love you.

" That's not her."

" That's good to know and I'm sorry for the concern we have caused you." He did seem genially sorry.

" Uh."

I am a monster of my own creation, there is nothing left except that tiny nagging of madness at the back of my mind and maybe just maybe that's why no tears were shed and why the relief never came because there was nothing left an empty pit that I'll be forever falling over until the day I die even trying to think positive thoughts didn't help or thinking of Ari and Ella because they just reminded me off Max.

Narrator POV

_When you think you've lost something forever and it turns out you've not are you meant to be happy thrilled or that little bit more confused than what you started off with or maybe that person got the wish they were waiting for. An answer for the prayer they had sent out. She won't go forward and she won't go back so where does that leave her? There are two doors for her to take but its up to her in which one she shall take. The truth is always a good place to start instead of the lies her family have entwined into one another lies are never strong enough to catch your fall, they just help build walls that let others know your not ready to talk just yet. So lets go back to were we first started off but this time there sits a guy drowning his sorrows but not in the way you would think. If you could look hard enough you would notice the bruising under his eyes from the lack of sleep and the fact that he seems to be miles away from the place he appears to be sitting and as always love seems to hold all the problems and answers. The world seems set in keeping him there that little bit longer and he has no urge to argue or move. I can't justify his reason for sitting all night long in the rain but maybe it helps with the process of loss and grief._

**Fangs POV**

_I said, " there is nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself."  
He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help."  
So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt.  
He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure.  
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."…_ _Bright Eyes_

I was never one to give anything away even from a tiny age but right now I wanted to talk to someone who I didn't know and didn't care but would listen just because they had nothing else to do. Even the wetness felt warm against my cold skin now. I was now sounding pathetic to my own ears. Pathetic, lonely and down right miserable but I didn't want to have to ask for the help I was needing because that would mean breaking my code of silence that I've built up for years but changing always did help or so my mum told me every time we moved but I think this time she was wrong something's just have to take their coarse. So for the six hours I've been sitting here not one person has approached me for some god unknown reason but I'm sure they thought it was a good one but as chance would have it some one sat down beside me even though the rain was cold and the wind was bitter against our skin.

" This won't solve your problems dear trust me I've been here myself sat for many hours and not a single thought would cross my mind." Her voice was pleasant but rough it was just nice to hear a new voice.

" I know but something changed and I don't think I was ready for them to go just yet." My throat was raw as I spoke.

" Did you try to move with them or stay in the past?"

I looked up to see whom I was talking to not that it'd do me much good but it had been worth a try. Her face was a little worn with age but her eyes held a certain sparkle as though she'd just realised who she was talking to and her face raised into a smile, maybe I did know her after all that.

" I didn't get a chance to do either because she was gone before I could blink or say another word."

" Ah so you must be Fang." Her voice now held a clear understanding. I jumped slightly when she had said my name. " Oh don't worry I'm not here to kill you or anything that cruel or horrible might I add."

I was on full alert now some woman I'd just met new my name and that freaked me out ever so slightly. I wonder what else she knows?

" So what do you want?" I felt so rude asking the question but I couldn't stop myself I had to know.

" Nothing really I just thought you might want to talk to someone who knows a little of what you going through and you never know I might know more than you." She smiled and laughed a little.

" Did my mum set you up to this because I wouldn't put it past her right now. I doubt that you more know than me." My voice was both angry and hurt. I didn't need people to keep reminding me of what had happened I had myself for that already

" I've never even met your mum if that makes you feel any better. Well we'll soon find out whether I do or not wouldn't you agree?"

She seemed like a nice enough person for now.

" So lets get straight to the point Fang when was the last time you heard from Max?" She looked at me with steel eyes now I felt as though I was being interrogated.

" Three nearly four months I think." That was a lie, I new it was just over four months but I had no idea why she was asking me this or who she even was yet. She looked away.

" I'm going to guess that she is the reason you're sitting in New York like a drowned rat but I wouldn't worry about it to much better people than you have fell for Max and each time they just crawl away because she never gave them a chance but your different."

" So everyone keeps bloody saying but I don't see how cause the way I look at it I'm just like the other trail of people she's left behind but the thing is Max's never has to see the pain she's leaving behind."

" Oh trust me your not and when she's back you'll understand why. I think she's foolish for what she's done but I can't speak. My lips are sealed." She zipped her lips as she said this.

" It can't be that bad it's not like she's I don't know dying… is she?" My voice tightened at this though she wouldn't be dying.

" Nope its much more happier than that depending on how you look at it."

" If you say so and if you see her could you say I miss her and when she's ready to come back I won't judge her on why she left I promise."

" She'll be happy to know that but it's only you that can keep the promise just remember that next time you meet her." She smiled but seemed distant as though not believing what I was saying.

" You speak as though she's coming back home?"

" Trust me in her own time she'll come home and that's one thing I can promise to out of all the topics we just covered and at last we must part because my time is up. Maybe next time we meet we'll both be in a happier place."

" Yes well I would say thanks for the help but you didn't really answer anything of much importance."

" Never mind. I nearly forgot there was something Max would like for me to tell you and this is it._ Something's aren't planned and even the best of us have to fall but we take it with in our stride to step back up again, no matter how hard the fall was, never looking back to hear the on slaughter of whispers that a preacher may want to speak and with that I bid my a due_. "

As she walked off I would have sworn I'd seen Maxs Audi TT swerve round the corner after her but how am I to know everything I see just seems to remind me of Max these days. The conversation had me a tad confused but reassured because I think Max is still close by but there's still a part of me thinking that maybe its better if I don't know because then I could just walk a way and act as though it had never happened but I think that's like asking a child to eat its vegetables.

**Max's POV**

_Somewhere life is good, and things go as they should  
it's hard to find, but that's alright yeah  
Searching for the way, push harder everyday  
It's deep inside, that shining light yeah  
But I'm scarred, by barriers placed in my path…_ Avenge Sevenfold

You know how when you wake up and you want it all to just be a messed up dream but you take a quick glance around and see yourself staring truth in the face. I wanted my life to be like that because no matter how many times you think something through and you prepare yourself it is never what you imagine it to be and even when your eyes are closed faking up a dream its there biting at the back of you head just waiting for a moments recognition but its chance left as soon as your mind was made up because that's the beauty of life you always have more than one choice but right now I was sticking to the one I had made just thinking of the long run but I had no idea what that was.

The first month was the hardest, I had to keep my head down low and act like nothing was out of the ordinary I even made it on to the News which was a little adrenalin rush because I've done this time and time again and I didn't even get a mention in the paper. Well I guess my parents know how it feels to be able to know everything but see nothing all at the same time. I still have this knowing feeling of guilt consuming me this time because maybe I was wrong to hide such truths before everyone's eyes I am like a magic trick one minute I am there next I am not and nobody knows the true meaning of the trick because there just to lazy to ask. Maggie was really understanding about the whole thing she's the first person I've been able to tell and just telling someone makes it all that little bit more real. I have both day and night to think about everything that is going on but with each question there comes another question and for each theory there is another theory to be pushed upon it. I could always put it up for adoption so it could have a better life but that was the whole thing I wanted to love it and give it the family I never had. My parents pumped me with money and it only made me richer but never happier so money was never the crutch they wanted it to be just something that helped soften the blow every time rejection would occur.

I'd been driving round New York when I'd noticed Fang sitting by himself soaked to the bone and it took all my energy not to get out the car and haul him in so I did the next best thing I phone Maggie. I just wanted to know if he was ok but he would be after all he hardly new me but the same would apply to me I didn't know much but for the things I did that seemed to be enough. Right after the talk Maggie phone me and gave me a briefing over what she'd said. She'd said the thing I'd ask her to and she'd seen nothing click in his face I don't think any one understands it I don't even think I understand it and I wrote it. I've had no contact with Nudge or Angel I had to get myself a new phone just so I wouldn't phone anyone that I new.

" Max you up yet?" Maggie screamed and blared on the door

" No I'm staying here all day." My bed was warm and the air outside was cold when I peaked my nose out from under the covers.

" Fine by me I'll just go cancel the tickets for London then and no shopping." She sighed and her footsteps became faint.

" I'm up. I'm up don't do anything rash now." Shopping would have to be my one weakness in lie but heck who cares if I'm pregnant, pregnant women still need to shop cause if they didn't they'd be bored stiff.

**Next day**

The plane journey was long and dull and even though flying in first class the food was still terrible but since becoming pregnant I've taken this massive craving for cookies and they didn't have any but the seats were big and comfortable. The Ritz was my favourite Hotel to stay at well in London because it was the first hotel I stayed in when I came here. Harrods was my favourite place to shop due to the fact it has everything I could ever want at any given time and the people really don't care who you are just as long as you have the money to buy the things they are selling then they are more than ready to help your every whim. I helped Maggie choose clothes and suits that didn't involve black and I must admit she looked amazing after I was done with her. The toy department was next and there in the middle of the room sat one lonely Harrods bear and in that moment I wanted it for my baby. My baby the words shocked me and grounded me to a stand still.

" Max you ok? Have you seen someone?" Her voice was panic-stricken.

" I have to have that bear for my baby." It sounded like a question and command but Maggie said nothing and just reached for the bear.

That was the first time I had called it a baby the first time I'd felt any compassionate love towards the baby I was carrying. Ironic how my first toy was going to be the same for the baby I was carrying but I think that was the way it was meant to be.

Twenty thousand pounds later we left Harrods I'd spent a lot of money but now looking at all the shopping bags I would have to disagree because I practically cleared the bag section after all there was no point for by clothes I was only going to wear once but I also bought this seasons clinique make-up , I watched as the workers piled bags upon bags into the limos boot and even that was beginning to look full. They looked between one another trying to figure out whom all the money belonged to but by the bemused looks on the face they hadn't guessed who it was.

" Maggie I have one more surprise for you before we leave London?" Excitement covered my voice.

" That's ok Max we can go home now." She looked back out towards the window.

" No I worked my ass off to get us a spot in here so we are going no further questions ok?" The excitement was still there but anger undermined the words.

" Fine."

The silence didn't bother me it was nice after being through all the parts of the shop.

" That's us here!"

" A hairdresser?" Her voice saddened.

" One of the best Maggie."

" If you say so but they all just seem the same to me."

" Ah Miss Max. How have you been?" He bent forward and kissed both checks. " And this must be Miss Maggie?"

" Nice to meet you." Maggie greeted him.

" Like wise dear. Now take a seat."

He snapped his fingers and three workers appeared awaiting to be summoned or to help us with anything that we would need well sitting in out seats but for now they stood in silence.

" Same as usual Miss Max. I see you brought another surprise along with you?" He gazed knowingly towards my swollen stomach. " May I ask who the father is?"

" Trust me it surprised me way more than you as for the father well he doesn't know about the baby inside me and I think that's the way I want it to stay." I smiled trying to ignore the pain of thinking about Fang.

" Did he ever hurt you?" Deacon's voice was angry.

" No he never laid a finger on me. I just didn't want him to carry the burden let him live his life and I'll lead mine just with one more thing to worry about."

" Do you know the Sex of the baby yet?" His voice sounded ecstatic.

" Haven't got a clue and that's the way I want to keep it for now."

" How far along are you?"

" Just over five months now so not long to go."

" You'll be a great mum."

" Well thank you. You are the first person to tell me that and I hope your right because I've never had to do anything like this. I just remember the time I had to look after that stupid doll and I ended up killing the thing."

" I'm one hundred percent sure that will not happen." He laughed and walked away for my highlights to be ready.

My hair shone the bright blond it was suppose to instead of dirty colour it had been as for Maggie she looked like a new person her old black ink her was a now rich chocolate brown with soft browns ruffled through she looked like a new person.

" Now Max when your baby is born you must tell me promise?"

" Promise." He hugged me and then we left until next winter when my hair would get done here again.

" Max I have to thank you for taking me there I was a bit reluctant but I'm glad I went my hair looks ten times better than it did."

" You are more than welcome so next time don't make such a fuss." I laughed at the face she pulled.

" Ok."

Hairdressers listen to problems every single day and maybe Deacon was right maybe fang did have a right to know, oh well I had another eight hours to think about the answer before I landed. I think I just need to get over a barrier I have blocked in my head and then the answers will come to all the questions I want to know.

A small tap woke me up from my sleep. " Max... he still loves you and I think he deserves to know."

" Hmmmmm."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter**


	16. AN: Sorry

**A/N: Sorry!!**

I think I'm going to be taking a break from this story because I'm not sure how to continue it. Its close to its end but I'm not sure how I want it to end and I also have another two fanfics to update which my friends keeps reminding me about.

If you have any ideas then PM me please.

Thanks


	17. Anothers Thoughts

_**A/N: Ok I'm back and hopefully this story will be finished in five or more chapters and once again enjoy and review, sorry for just leaving this story but I'm not sure how I want it to end but I think I finally have an idea for now anyway.**_

* * *

**Ella's POV**

The world seems a little colder now that Max is gone away, god if anyone was going through this they'd think she was dead but I guess that's what it feels like after all she's not here. My friends don't even mention any of there siblings but that's just more upsetting but they're trying and that's more that can be said for other people I know. I think Ari and I have grown strong since we now only have each other to lean on since nobody seems to notice that we actually miss our sister. It's really bad when people stare when I walk along the corridor as though I'm some freak. I just have to believe that Max will be back because if I stop believing then there's a high chance I won't be able to pick myself back up off the ground of hopelessness.

I don't know who took the blow worse my mum or dad because in all honesty I blame them, which sounds awful, but it's true they are never there no matter what Max does or they send her on these mad rehab courses that she doesn't even need. I remember the time they sent her to a shrink for going to Ohio for three weeks on a holiday with some random guy because she got fed up here. I think they do this so that they feel as though they have some control over what Max is doing with her life but they have no chance in hell of doing that there are only two people in the world that can do that and that is Jim and Fang I think his name is but I know little about him except from what I've heard he seems just as beat up as Angel and Nudge about Max being missing. Sometimes at school I feel as though I'm watching a scene through a black and white film reel and nothing is quiet what it seems there's always something making sure you'll cry that little more or just the pure meanness from everyone. When Max left I don't think I've ever cried so much not even when I had to get eleven stitches in my right leg but when I'd finished crying everything was still the same all my emotions still screwed up. I think I thought that if I cried enough everything would go back to normal like when I want something and if I whine enough I will get it no matter what the cost but life doesn't always work that way. I miss Max the most because she was one of the few people I could look up to in my own life my mum and dad are good at their jobs but Max has all the latest clothes and is really good in the business area of life. I remember the one time she took me shopping the shop literally got cleared no one was there apart from the staff and there was rows upon rows of things laid out for me and her to try on. She was one of the best sisters you could ever ask for I just wish she would talk to Ari and I a little more but beggars can't be choosers. I think if Max is ever ready to come back then things will be different between the three of us I just have this feeling, this can't be as said as much for my parents its to late for them to change. For me all this crying over Max from my mum is a little extreme from what I've heard it was more of Jims doing that my mum was here for the three years of Max life and then two for me and then three months for Ari and I feel so sorry for him but he'll live he has Max and I.

I think Max wants us to be happy but right now I just wish she'd come back because life just isn't right without her and having mum and dad around is a little annoying.

**Ari's POV**

I hate watching my family fall to pieces each night seems to drag on with my mother watching the main driveway waiting on Max to walk through the gates and my dad just staring at her or anything that isn't Ella and I. I may be the youngest in the family but that doesn't stop me from noticing the others roundabout me with all the coping mechanisms, watching the clock and counting the seconds, writing lists on stupid little things or crying and by far that has to be the most popular of the three. You don't realise how much you rely on someone until they're no longer there. Max was like the glue holding the family together after all mum and dad were never around and she was even though she spent the whole time getting into trouble but she was blunt and honest and never took any bull shit. She's maybe not the best roll model but she could put our mum and dad to shame. There's no escape from Max missing its like I have this sign tattooed to my head saying " Pity me" but I don't and it really annoys me all the teachers turn the other way when you do something wrong or when I'm late nothing ever happens or the best thing is " I know how you feel" but they don't have a clue; have they lost someone they thought would always be there well they were growing up I think not or when the head teacher sits down and says " If you ever need anything just ask" that was just plain creepy it was like she wanted me to break down in front of her but that's not the way I'm programmed. In all honesty I want someone to just scream in my face and tell me that it will all go back to normal but no one will because that would mean having to be truthful to my face instead of talking behind my back. The first day we went to school was the worst thing ever our head Mrs Park called the whole schools attention and told everyone about Max being missing and that's when the whispering and the pitying started.

I just wish she would come back or even just tell someone the reason why she left its like God just had had enough of her and scraped her off the face of the earth. I miss the way she would just get up and go and drive away in cars that people only dream of owning and I also miss my big sister I may not know her very well but she was alright when Ella and I were growing up we all just changed and took separate paths making it hard to see eye to eye but I will always love her. I miss Max playing the Grand Steinway Piano it juts sits there collecting dust because my mother won't let Jim touch it. I remember Jim telling me a story about Max and me. When Max was ten she watched me fall over and I wouldn't stop crying not even when my carer picked me up and tried to give me food and Max took me in her arms and sat me on the floor and started to play a piece of music she'd been written well I'd been out playing.

" That's for you Ari but you need to stop crying or you won't be able to hear ok?" Jim said she looked angry and I stopped crying and listened.

For some strange reason I don't remember that day but I can still hum the tune because it's kept with the family Music written by Max and it's one of the things that reminds me that Max was actually here and no one can take that away now that's my coping mechanism. I just wish things could go back to normal as though nothing had ever changed but things always happen for a reason or that's the best out look I have to have when everyone else seems to be floating in a world that only consists of doom and gloom.

**Angel's POV**

I could kill Max does she not know how worried I am about her she won't even pick up her phone, seven long months have passed and I've ran out of places to look for her, I even looked in that hotel room she likes to hire out and bring people to and do God only knows what. I've looked in some of her top shops but no ones seen her but there not stupid if they lose Max as a customer they lose hundreds of other people so they stay loyal to her no matter how much trouble they'll be getting into because Max would always bale them out. God I miss her so much it was fine in the beginning when I though she'd just gone on holiday but when she wouldn't pick up my texts or phone calls I began to worry and then I got the call from the police asking if I'd seen Max because she'd left a letter and if I new anything about it.

I took the news way better than Nudge she had a panic attach and had to get rushed to hospital and those places give me the creeps it always stinks of bleach and other cleaning stuff that's what Max would do if Nudge had a panic attach she would go with her and I'd be on a web cam or something but I had to be strong so I went in and stayed with Nudge.

I kept my emotions in control most of times apart from when I found out about Max leaving the letter but I'd been good and optimistic. I'd been watching Fang and the more time that passed the more lost and confused he seemed to be getting but he hadn't know Max that long but yet he didn't seem to give up complete hope he was just looking for answers just like the rest of us. I was trying to keep my life as normal as possible so the saying in my house was " Don't even think about it" it always had been but now it was just a cover to stop me from going into complete melt down. I don't think my parents really understand what's going on but maybe it's better that way fewer questions are asked.

Well sitting in a double period of maths I began to flick through the scenes about what had happened up to the night Max had left. The party was the first thing that sprang to mind but nothing really happened and then her and Fang went to the hotel, she went away, her parents came home and she left. Maths must be really bad if I'm thinking about this but nothing was piecing together until it clicked something happened in the hotel room but what.

By the time lunch came I was still stuck for and idea and I told Nudge and she was also thinking.

" Fang what did you and Max do when you got to the hotel room?" I questioned him.

" Erm… we just…nothing…we…nothing." He stuttered and looked down but not before I'd seen him blush.

" Thanks Fang." I smiled and walked away with Nudge.

I picked up my phone and dialled in her number and once again it went straight into answer phone.

" Hey Max Angel here. I'm once again checking up on you to see if you'll phone me back but I know you won't." I sighed how was I going to say this. " I think I know why you left Max and I'm sorry but you really need to talk to someone instead of keeping it quiet and you know where I am to talk and no judgement will be passed. Promise love you loads bye."

I just hope I was right with my conclusion.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I thought it would be good to see what Ari and Ella thought about some of the things going.**


	18. Truths And Presents

_**A/N: Hope you enjoy and review please I gave up a French talk to write this.**_

_**Fangs POV**_

I looked down at the blank piece of paper it was mocking my each sigh, I look round the class but still my mind is blank, frosted over like a cold winters morning. The clock chimes in the background counting down till the bell rings. The room is silent apart from the odd sniffle or laugh; people deep in thought of what to right their essay on. We are all just the same sitting in a classroom which is to warm to and with no thoughts in our head of the reflective essay we're suppose to be writing. Why is it people have to reflex on there life we couldn't just live it and let it be but I guess nothing can lay quiet forever.

" Class pack up."

Thank god I can finally go home the days seem to be getting longer and longer as the months go on. I smiled at Tanya as she came over, her life right now is so easy and I envy her.

" Fang what times mum coming back at?"

" I'm not sure she's going out with that Jerry guy." I'd met him a couple of times but he never seemed to amaze me he was just plain and that was the best way to explain him but my mum was happy and that's what counted.

" Oh. Ok."

" What's wrong Tanya you do this every time he's mentioned?"

" I don't know he's just not dad and I just don't know ok." She looked sad but said no more.

" Trust me it's a good thing he's not like dad do you want to see mum upset again and then us having to move and start all over again?" She probably won't remember dad but it took mum a good five years to get over him.

" No but I wish it was just the three of us again."

" It doesn't bother me." That was a lie it wasn't my mum and Jerry it was the fact that they were so loved up together and the one person I was longing to see never shows up.

" Ok. What if they get married and we get a step dad?"

" We shall just live with it because that's just the way life works." I snapped.

" It doesn't have to be." Tanya's voice sounded so small and scared.

"Come on we need to get home."

The journey home was quiet until the car doors were slammed shut.

" Fang will you ever be happy again?" Tanya asked.

" I am happy Tanya why you asking that?" The question took me totally aback; I thought I was good at hiding how sad I was about Max.

" Your not happy and you won't until that nice girl comes home." She smiled and went to walk off but I stopped her.

" How do you know Max?" I flicked through the last couple of months and couldn't picture how they'd met each other.

" It was like the fourth or fifth day of school and these two boys wouldn't leave me alone and she came up to them and scared them off it was quiet funny they looked absolutely terrified of her but she was really sweet to me. We started talking even though the bell had rang and when I mentioned you were my brother she looked a little taken aback but she seemed to smile even more." She smiled and ushered me inside and we sat down. " She dropped me at class and the teacher didn't even give me in to trouble when she saw that it was Max that had dropped me off. The teachers don't like her that much but her parents give so much to the school so they can't complain about her." She smiled and started to hum a tune I didn't know.

" People are just strange that way and trust me there is no stranger person than Max for you to meet." Max had never mentioned that she'd met my sister but then again we never really spoke that much about family it was a sensitive subject for both of us.

" Where do you think she went?" Tanya looked to the floor as if that was going to answer her question.

" I have no idea but I wish I did."

" I wonder how her family took it I'd be really, really upset if you ever ran away but I'd come and get you I don't want any one else to leave our family." She looked so small and fragile I wonder what's going through her mind.

" I'm sure there coping now don't worry yourself with it please you seem to carry the whole wait of the world on your shoulders these days" I smiled or tried to.

" Thanks Fang you're the best." And the wait has been lifted

" Any time."

" I know." She was so smart for a kid her age or maybe I was really dumb at her age either way she always seemed to know how to deal with a matter.

The next week at lunch was just plain weird. I was busy minding my own business when Angel and Nudge appear which isn't that unusual but when they brought up Max I was shocked. That was like a no go zone.

"_Fang what did you and Max do when you got to the hotel room?" Angels asked me._

" _Erm… we just…nothing…we…nothing." I stuttered and looked down trying to hide my blush_

" _Thanks Fang." Angel smiled and walked away with Nudge. She looked as though she'd just hit the jackpot._

They never seemed that upset anymore it was like they'd moved on and life had just gone back to normal and maybe that's what I had to do to get over Max but I just couldn't imagine doing that. Maybe Tanya was right I'd never be happy until I saw Max again which made me sound so pathetic. The days are getting slower I am now officially convinced but I think it's the fact that I am bored out my mind.

My dad was coming over this weekend to visit so that should be fun, my mum seems a little apprehensive about him meeting Jerry which I can't understand because he was the one that cheated not her but I've only ever heard one side of the story so I will not be the one to judge either of them but if someone had told me to pick a side I would have picked my mums because she was the one always in the house no matter what was happening roundabout us she was always fun well that was until she spilt up from my dad.

" Hey Fang it's your dad here sorry to say but I'm unable to make it this weekend a big meeting came up and I jus had to be there perhaps another time. Hope to see you soon. Bye" His voice was monochromatic as I played the message.

Why was I not surprised he'd been doing this a lot lately always avoiding direct questions when on the phone or just not taking my calls and putting them through to his new assistant Laura. She wasn't a good liar it was always he's at the toilet; he's out that was the most common one but she giggle at the end of line as though some one was standing in front of her and telling her the lie.

" Mum dads not coming over this weekend, he has a really important meeting that he just can't seem to miss or the world will coming crashing down."

" Oh ok dear. Do you believe him?" By the tone of her voice she didn't believe him and that was always a good sign that I wasn't the only person.

" No way I'd put money on it."

" Agreed to bad. I think Jerry wanted to see him." Her voice was saddened a bit.

" I'm sure they'll meet one day but by that time I'll probably be getting married or having kids so you can relax for ages because I have no plan for either." I laughed.

" Glad to here of it I wouldn't want you ending up like your father but you won't you're way to nice to be like that." She smiled and gave me a hug.

" Thanks mum."

_**Maxs POV**_

I've repeatedly asked myself this question and that would be have I made the right choice? You lie awake at night in a not so strange building and think really hard and come to no conclusion but some how in the morning you know the answer, well I've being doing that for a whole seven months now and still have nothing. It was my own fault I fell pregnant but even just knowing that I'm caring for someone else's life is kind of creepy. I told myself right from the start that I would do the best for the child and not give it up but I'm only seventeen but I can't imagine giving my child to anyone else because I'd wonder later on in life when I'm ready to have a child what if? If I'd kept this baby would I really want another one?

The floor was cold against my feet as I pushed my self from the low bed it was getting harder to move each morning with my back acting up every two minutes. I've had medical checks done after the whole charade about me disappearing died down but I wouldn't let them tell me anything except that the baby was healthy and so was I. I looked at myself in the mirror I didn't even know the person standing in front of me, which sounds awful but my eyes were dark and sad and my whole body just looked out of place like it was meant to be some where else. People would kill to have child like literally, I was reading a paper yesterday and the headline was Mother Killed By Own Sister For Child. I couldn't even imagine doing that to someone.

" Max breakfast is ready." Maggie yelled from across the hall.

" Thanks."

I sat in front of the T.V in a tiny living room. For the seven nearly eight months I've been here it's begun to look more like home. The furniture got all replaced with stuff that was half decent but still there was something missing and I could never quiet put my finger on it. The joys of living by yourself there was always something missing from the façade you were trying to live for example mine would be the Grand Steinway Piano sitting down stairs I couldn't have that in a flat because everybody else would be able to bloody well hear it. I didn't realise how much I played it until I couldn't anymore.

" I don't see why you don't just ask the sex of the baby Max?" Maggie was yet again trying to plead with me.

" No. I can't, or not yet any way." I always liked surprises but the thought of not knowing still scared but I could never pluck up the courage ask.

My phone buzzed and I looked at the caller I.D it was Angel that was strange I hadn't heard from her since last month I though both her and Nudge had given up trying to phone me. I picked up the phone and played the message.

" Hey Max Angel here. I'm once again checking up on you to see if you'll phone me back but I know you won't." She sighed down the phone seeming lost for words. " I think I know why you left Max and I'm sorry but you really need to talk to someone instead of keeping it quiet and you know where I am to talk and no judgement will be passed. Promise love you loads bye."

I wonder how she found out I didn't leave anything behind any clues about it or said anything and Angel and Nudge normal switch off when I have one of my rants about my life or parents. Was it something Fang had said? Angel she was always a tad smarter than Nudge in the art of conversation and investigating. It would be so good to go back and see them again if not just to talk to people my own age. I didn't think this whole going away thing through very well all I'm going to say is thank god I have Maggie cause if not I would have gone mad by now but a positive thing is my wardrobe has about tripled in size for the know and after the birth. Maybe it was time to meet up with Nudge and Angel.

My hands shook slightly as I picked up the phone they would be the first people to outside of Maggie but they were my friends they'd understand wouldn't they? An Angel had said no judgement would be made. I let out a slow breath and dialled in the number.

" Angel here how can I help you?" She hadn't looked at the caller ID on her phone.

" Hi its Max here." I heard a small scream then a bump then a yell for someone to get out the room.

" Hands down is that you?" She sounded so happy to hear my voice.

" Yes Angel hands down this is me I got your message and was wondering if we could meet up please." My voice was a small plead.

" Of course there's so much to talk about so much." There it was with the hinting again that she new.

" Please keep it on the DL Angel nobody ever needs to know." There was a small sigh from the other side of the phone.

" What about Nudge? Can she come to just like old times just the three of us?" Ah so that's what the sigh was for.

" Off course she is also my best friend. Where we going to meet?" This was going to be the hard part.

" What about the café you're always raving about?" Angel for some reason had never been.

" Can't. I still don't know her that well. Oh I know my hotel room well the one that I still own any way."

" Great idea see you at say four o'clock."

"Will do bye." I sighed well this should be interesting lets see how understanding my friends are.

" Maggie I'm away to get changed."

" Fine."

I looked at myself in the mirror for the second time that day, the difference a couple of months can do to you. I sat down applying my entire make up like each touch was saving my life. I slipped into my grey Miu Miu dress it was nearly spring so I was just starting early and my Christian Louboutin Grey metallic shoes with tan tights to cover my legs. Getting this dressed up seemed a bit odd but the dress hid the bump a bit and well I just love high heels so even eight months pregnant I'm still wearing high heels and no ones going to stop me and a Prada bag.

" That's me going out."

" You look really nice Max."

" Thanks Maggie."

" Have fun."

I sat in my Audi TT and sighed this car was ok but it didn't have smartness of the Vanquish and it didn't have the speed of the viper had but beggars can't be choosers and I had made my choice. I walked up to the steps handing someone my keys to park the car not really caring who it was. I walked through the hall straight towards Marks office trying to get rid of the feeling that everybody was watching me and I just entered. I sat on the seat waiting for him to finish who ever he was talking to.

" Hi Mark. Long time no see." I smiled he seemed happy to see me.

" You gave us all quite a scare especially with selling a room but your back now and that's what counts. So how can I help you?" He leaned forward and took a drink.

" Nothing really just here to say hi and that I'm back to take bookings for my room so make sure its nice and doesn't have police stuff over it." I liked being back in control of my life it felt good.

" Ok I'll get someone on that right away." He let out a sigh but said no more.

" I'll need it cleaned within the next ten minutes because that shall be when my friends are arriving."

" Yes." He didn't even panic when I said that god he'd gotten good well I'd been away.

" Thanks Mark."

" Anything to help Miss Ride."

I sat in my room it felt like home here nobody to notice or ask what was wrong or how your day was. I ordered up food guessing that Angel and Nudge would be coming straight from school.

I heard them talking loudly in the corridor as they knocked on the door well here was the moment of truth and nobody new the outcome of this conversation. I let out a slow breath and answered the door only to be ambushed with two enormous hugs and squeals.

" Hi Max. " Nudge practically yelled and skipped and fell down on to my bed.

" Hi Max." Angel whispered at my side.

They looked round the room like old times as though I'd never disappeared but when they both ended up on my bed and gave me a questioning look I new all to well but I had made the choice and Angel had come to the conclusion. I Sat down and took off my good shoes.

Angel spoke first. " It took me a while but you should know I have to know every detail of every thing so once I got over the initial shock that you had left my mind began to tick it was going over time." She laughed and I new what she meant I could always imagine her being something out of CSI. " Then I asked Fang what happened but it wasn't his words I was looking for it was his actions and that was his blush. He was the one to give you away." I could just imagine her tutting me right now.

" Max how could you? You hardly know Fang or should I say he hardly knows you?" Nudge snapped.

" I don't know it just felt right unlike the rest of the people I've gotten mixed up with and he didn't protest." I smiled at the thought of Fang.

" Yeah but look at you know, you're expecting your first child at only seventeen and we're so sorry we missed your birthday but we brought gifts." Nudge shook a little box.

" Do you not think I've thought about all of this? Right now I've messed up three people's life mine his and the babies and it isn't even born yet." I let out a small cry.

" Max I'm sorry." She leaned in and hugged me.

" Angel and I are both here to help from here on in no matter what that need is. Is that clear?" Nudge demanded.

" Crystal clear and thanks."

" Now lets open your presents shall we?"

" Yes please." I thought everyone had forgotten about my birthday but once again I was wring right now I had such great friends.

" Ok This is from me." Angel informed and handed over a silver bag.

I opened the bag up and looked inside, inside was the newest Gucci bag out it was love at first sight. " Thanks so much Angel."

" You're very welcome." She smiled.

" Ok me next." Nudge yelped. She handed me three different wrapped presents.

The first was a solid sliver key ring with my name in graved on to it in the shape of a set of wings. The second was the Bright Eye C.D I'd been trying to get and last but not least the third gift was a in a small Tiffany & Co Box inside was the lock charms necklace with an X &O.

" Thank you so much I love everything here guys." I felt like crying but didn't I couldn't I wanted to be strong.

" It goes perfect with the next present from Fang." Nudge spoke like she was walking on glass and scared to apply too much pressure.

" Oh."

I looked at the small gift in front of me scared to open it but it had to be done inside the box was a links charm bracelet with a solid silver heart and a musical note.

" How did you get this?" I asked. I was upset seeing something that he had bought and taken time over and he was unable to give it to me by himself but I'd never had a steady relationship where you had to buy presents for that person. It was more like a one off thing.

" He thought we'd have more chance of seeing you than him." Nudge looked down at the floor and bit her perfectly manicured nails.

" I'll say thank you next time I see him." Now that was a promise

" There will be a lot more than thank you to be exchanged in the first meeting trust me." Angel stated.

" Well thank you Mrs state the obvious." I laughed at the face she pulled.

Nudge let out a small squeal when she saw the time. I thought she'd fallen over but she had in fact ended up on the floor over the shock that she was in.

" Sorry Max but Angel and I have to be getting home its near ten o'clock and I told my mum I'd be back by eight." Her voice was in shier panic mode that was Nudge for you always the good little girl that every mother wanted to have not someone like me who just takes off cause they feel like it.

" That's ok. It was so great catching up with you all again but I probably see you at the weekend and please remember you haven't seen or heard from me." I hoped we would I hadn't realised how much I'd missed them till now.

" Promise." They both uttered at the same time. We hugged and then they returned home and so did I.

The drive seemed longer on the way back than it did to the way there but I think that was for the fact that I was uber tired.

" How was your night?" Maggie asked from the same position she'd been sitting in when I left the house.

" It was really good and I'm so glad I pushed myself into going. I'm off to bed."

" Night Max."

" Night Maggie." I hadn't realised how tired I was until my head hit the pillow and I was fast asleep.

I got up that morning and I new what I had to do and I was happy after the hours of agonizing in trying to find the answer I just stopped and it came to me. I picked up the phone and dialled in the number. Small steps at a time.

" Hello Dr Skye its Max here." The good thing about having a private Dr there was never any need to wait.

" Ah good to hear from you is everything ok?" He always seems to worry about me and I can never figure out why.

" Everything's ok I guess. There was just something I wanted to ask you before I lose it again. What's the sex of the baby?"

Their Maggie would be happy we'd be able to start decorating and buying new things for the baby. Excitement burst through my stone composure about having the child for the first time since finding out I was pregnant.

I held my breath as he began to speak. I counted to ten slowly. " Gives me sec I'll just get your information up on the screen, right here we are. Ok Max you're going to have a…"

**A/N: Hmmmm wonder what she's going to have!!! Review please!!! Hope you enjoyed.**


	19. Out but never in

**A/N:** Hope you enjoy this chapter and please review because I don't know when I'll next be able to update because I'm now on exam leave. Thanks to everyone whose reviewed so far.

_**Maxs Mum**_

I looked out the window the skies have darkened as the months have passed since Max left it doesn't matter what I do or who I see I just know it's my fault she left I was an awful mother never caring about what she got up to. How I wish I could turn back time just to stop the damage I've inflicted on this family. Jeb works even more than he use to which scares me because he's working himself into an early grave. The pictures in the house are all turned down I'm ashamed to look at my own face never mind my daughters and son. At nights everything seems so much clearer, the room can be pitch black but if anything is to make a noise or if a lights to come on it will flicker off a reaction to remind me of Max.

" Mum. Do you want a muffin? I made them in school." Ella whispered as she sat down beside me.

" Off course dear. What flavour?" Ella from what I've heard is a really good cook

" Chocolate, my favourite." She smiled and passed me one over. She gave me a look which dumbfounded me was I suppose to know this?

That's the one fact that always puzzles me Ella and Ari seem to have turned out fine and I don't know why but I think I have Max to thank for that, maybe my mother had been right I wasn't meant to have children ever but yet here I am with two and one missing. I wonder what other people would think if they saw how dysfunctional are family was because everybody just has this illusion in there head that because I worked my ass off to get to the top I must have this great family back at home but as the saying goes you can't have your cake and eat it which up to this point I had never understood but right now I do I gave up so much just so I could be at the top of my league but what did it get me? Lots of money I would give that up any day to have a proper family a husband to kiss in the morning and children to wave goodbye as they went to school and then ask them how their day went.

" Mum did you like it?" Ella whined from behind my back there I was again drawn towards the window.

" It was lovely dear I wouldn't except anything less well done." I smiled and ushered her from the room. If this were a movie I don't think my character would ever move from the bedroom window. I'd be like some sad lost old lady just waiting and waiting and never knowing what was going to happen but just knowing that something would.

" Fine." She huffed and fled the room.

I wonder what Ari and Ella think of this whole mess do they blame it on me do they even notice that Max isn't here but did I really want to know if they blamed it on me. Jim's been the best through the whole thing its like nothing has happened that Max is still here. He drives the kids to school and cleans her room even though she's not there and even found the song that she wrote down before she left. Its like part of his job was to scrape me off the floor in the morning and stick a smile to my face just so I could see Ari and Ella. The joys of working with the Ride family we're just full of surprises and skeletons waiting to fall out the closet. I take sleeping pills at night but even they don't seem to work it's like they lost their effect after the first one I took.

" Miss its dinner would you care to join the children?" Jim questioned from the hall but it wasn't a question it was more of a get down the stairs now tone of voice.

" Yeah I'll be right down." I looked at myself and could only see the mess that was hanging roundabout me anytime someone came in the room to clean up I would completely lose it and just make a mess just so I could pass the time.

Jeb sat at the head of the dinner table and nodded in my direction when I sat down but it wasn't in an adoring manner just a plain old boring nod just to say you're here. The dinner was awkward; the silence filled the whole house as the staff took their own meals elsewhere but what was there to say and then as soon as it had begun it ended like a magic wand has been flicked and dinner was over.

" That was lovely Jim." The children spoke from the kitchen.

"Thank you." Now there was love in that voice why couldn't I do that or why could I not have that?

" Dear could we go through to the front lounge I'd care to take a few moments of your time before you go back up stairs?" His voice was soft but stern.

" Yes. What is it you want to talk about?" It was odd the whole reason our relationship had lasted this long was due to having jobs that meant we hardly ever had to speak to one another and having three kids so we had something in common if we were ever to get bored of each others company which sounds really bad but if you were to look at it as a whole we had nothing in common.

" It's about you. The company's been wondering when you'll be back at work as the person they have in your place isn't very good." It hit me then there was no sympathy in his voice about his daughter and there was no concern for me or my well being.

" You know what Jeb I have no clue in hell when I'll be back at work and right now the company hiring someone that isn't right for the job isn't my fucking fault so tell them all just to grow up and deal with the problem. As for you what the hell happened I have yet to see you shed a tear of sorrow because Max is gone or that your family seems to be falling apart or are we all just some pawns to be replaced each time one of us falls? That's the thing about being off work it gives you time to think and sometimes its for the best I have never seen you give anything to this family apart from money; now I'm not much better off but at least I know." Tears rolled down my face as the anger boiled up inside me and he'd just pressed all the right buttons for me to blow.

" I…You." He stuttered and looked to the ground.

" What's wrong do you not like being told the truth why's that? Does it hurt? News flash the truth always hurts. You can look around dumbfound all you want but the only person you're fooling is you." The realise of anger felt so good its like for the last eight months or should I say last twenty five years everything was ready to be said because enough is enough the twig had finally been snapped.

" I'm sorry but I never knew we never talk anymore not like when we first met if I'd know I would have stopped it. I promise." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek, quick and soft but it was filled with love but yet again everything was in a hurry like our life was to be played out in full speed.

He went to walk out the room but I stopped him. " Where are you going Jeb it's nine at night and you still feel this need to leave. Jeb here's a question for you. Are you married to me or your work?" My voice was stern because I didn't want to show how much this was hurting me.

" I don't have time for this right now; I have other places to be, we'll talk later dear." He smiled and took steps towards the door.

" There will not be a later if you step out this house to night and that's a promise." I don't think I could deal with this all in one year but if fate wants it to be this way then it shall.

" Not tonight." And he walked out the house.

I don't get it. Was it too much for what I was asking for? I really just wanted to be a proper family so that what people think is in fact true but maybe I had left it to late the damage was to far done and to out my grasp for it to be fixed with a simple hug and kiss. What would people have to say now? I have a missing child and a walk out for a husband god I can just imagine the gossip. Tears cascaded down my face but I didn't move and time just seemed to come to a stand still.

" He'll be back you know. They always do." Anna spoke from behind me as she dusted the ornaments " My husband left me over a stupid argument but we worked through it and I would say we almost have this perfect existence with each other yes we trip up every now and then but doesn't everyone?" She smiled and carried on with the work as though nothing had happened.

" Ehm ok." Why were all my house staff so nice to me I've not even spoken to half of them.

" Best thing to do is to pick yourself up and fling yourself into something you've always wanted to do and once you've done that you'll be able to say is that what it would be like with out him and then you decide whether its right to take him back." Her whole manner was a tad elusive for my liking but she made sense for this time of night.

" Thank you Anna." Maybe these people should be given more respect I've always looked down at that as though they were a loss cause maybe in fact it was me that was the lost cause.

" Anytime Mrs Ride." She skipped out the room.

What's the one thing in the world I would love to do? The first thought was to get Max back but in due time that will come and I have no control over that. I thought about my whole life as a whole what was it I'd always wanted to do but had been discouraged. Then it clicked I'd always wanted to own a small cake shop/café. I don't know why but ever since I was a little girl I've always wanted to because my mum and dad were so strict about everything I did and I was never congratulated if I done well it was only if I had done the best out of everyone I guess that's why I left Max in care with someone else with no rules because I didn't want her to end up like me. I switched on the computer and began my search.

I looked at the clock and it read three am that's odd I hadn't even notice the time pass but I had to go to bed. I glanced towards the front door as I made my way up the stairs maybe our relationship hadn't meant that much to Jeb. I walked pass the kid's room ad checked in on them each of them were sound asleep. I knelt beside the bed and said a prayer and hoping that God would maybe take pity of the state this family was in and also for Max and Jeb to return home. I clapped and the lights went out and the rest of the world was blocked out as I closed my eyes. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day but its getting to the stage that each time I say it my days just seem to go even more down hill. There will never be any rainbows and sunshine at the end of my driveway only the fiery pits of hell until every little secret has been set free from this house if that's what you could even call it.

**Ella's POV**

I wonder when dads coming back I've never seen him and mum argue like that before but then again they've never been in the house long enough for me to see them argue. I hope they sort it out I hate it when people argue it makes me feel very insecure. I think if you have something to say you should just say it instead of keeping it bottled up because bit by bit it begins to wear you done until it manifests and that's the only thing on your mind. I think that's what happened to Max and she just needed time to herself instead of being trapped inside this house like an animal waiting on its meal to be given but she'll come home. I wonder what life would be like without Max being the way she is? Always doing the unexpected but as Debbie my nanny always said expect the unexpected and always be prepared no matter what you've just been told. Out of the three keepers each of us have I think I have the second best because as usual Max got the best but I think that's because she takes it the hardest not having mum and dad around unlike Ari and I who just deal with it.

" Bed Ella, its way past your bed time and I don't care that it's a weekend tomorrow." Debbie spoke from behind the door and entered.

I looked towards the clock and saw that that it read twelve o'clock good thing it was the weekend tomorrow or should I say today but that was never an excuse for Debbie nope everything was done in strict routine.

" Goodnight Debbie say night to mum for me please. I think she's still a little upset that my dad never came back two nights ago." I switched off the light and walk towards my bed. You always imagine that it will never happen to you and that your mum and dad being together is a given but I have a feeling that my dad walking out was the last straw.

" I will Ella. Have a good sleep." I listened, as her footsteps carried off down the hall maybe tomorrow would be a better day. It couldn't be any worse than the last eight months of our lives that's for sure.

**Fangs POV**

I looked through the old bookstore for nothing in particular apart from getting out the house now that Jerry lived with us there was never any silence he was just so loud and in your face and people like that do my head in. My house is big enough that I never have to see him but you can always hear him and how happy he is that he found my mum and how it was meant to be. From what I've learned in the past couple of months is that life isn't a fairytale because there's always a problem and never a solution.

" Ah Fang nice to see you again is there any book you would like today?" Mr West asked he was a strange old man was huge glasses that take over his whole face.

" No I'm ok but thanks anyway." He shuffled off back to behind the counter I have no idea how this shop makes any money because I seem to be the only person in it ever.

The weather outside rained like a mother crying over the loss of her child but that didn't stop me from going out in it I hate it when people make a fuss when its raining its not going to hurt you unless its acids rain but I don't think that hurts you but I'm not very sure. I hopped into my new Porsche Carrera my mum decided that I should have a new car since my old one broke down I didn't realise she'd buy me a Porsche but I guess she's just happy that I'm actually going outside from time to time now instead of staying coped up inside. It feels weird driving a car I'd only ever dream of having but my mum seems happy with the amount she's making so who am I to argue. This happens to be one of the few cars that Max doesn't own but I think she does own a Porsche. My phone beeped in the car but I just ignored it hardly anyone calls me on my other cell in fact only a couple of people have this number. I switched on my I-pod and began to sing along.

_They painted up your secrets  
with the lies they told to you  
and the least they ever gave you  
was the most you ever knew_

_And I wonder where these dreams go  
when the world gets in your way  
what's the point in all this screaming  
No one's listening anyway_

_Your voice is small and fading  
and you hide in here unknown  
and your mother loves your father  
'Cause she's got nowhere to go…_

I loved their album so much I just seemed able to relate to each of their songs. I'd seen the Goo Goo Dolls once back in my old state they'd been great live performers. It was my dad and I that had seen them I think that was one of the last times we actually got on or should I say that we saw eye to eye.

" Hey Fang how was your day?" My mother asked from the kitchen.

" Yeah it was ok nothing much happened."

" Its nice that you're out and about any way." She smiled and looked down at her diamond engagement ring.

I went upstairs and flicked open my phone that was odd it was saying I had three missed calls from Max and a text from her. I thought she'd cut all social use out of her life obviously I was wrong.

_Hey Fang, Long time no c sorry for that by the way._

_We need to meet up but only if you want. I have some news_

_Love Max._

That was odd I wonder if she's ok.

_Hi, _

_Yeah no probs when?_

_Fang_

There was a long pause while I waited for her to text back.

_How about tomorrow? At say 5. _

_In the hotel I once took you to_

_Love Max _

Would that be a problem for me? I shouted down the stairs and asked my mum. She said it would be fine.

_Sure c u then._

_Fang_

_Ok bye_

_Love Max_

Wonder what she's got to tell me? Hope its nothing bad I don't think I could cope if she told me something bad and just walked out my life again like a puff of smoke one minute its there next minute its not. Tomorrow would be an interesting day maybe I'd even learn the truth behind her leaving but I wasn't counting on it after all this was Max and she was always good at keeping things on the down low when she wanted to.

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**A/N:** Fang and Max cars are up on my page if you want to see them.


	20. Sorry I was Wrong

**A/N: All exams are done till next year and I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review because I love to know what you think of my story.**

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Maxs POV

" Hello Dr Skye its Max here." The good thing about having a private Dr there was never any need to wait.

" Ah good to hear from you is everything ok?" He always seems to worry about me and I can never figure out why.

" Everything's ok I guess. There was just something I wanted to ask you before I lose it again. What's the sex of the baby?"

Their Maggie would be happy we'd be able to start decorating and buying new things for the baby. Excitement burst through my stone composure about having the child for the first time since finding out I was pregnant.

I held my breath as he began to speak. I counted to ten slowly. " Gives me sec I'll just get your information up on the screen, right here we are. Ok Max you're going to have a baby girl." I let out a small yelp it was odd even though I hadn't thought about the sex of the baby that much I think I'd wanted a girl. I think it just seems easier after all there'll be more to talk about and lots of pink things.

" Thank Dr Skye. Could you also tell me when the baby will be born?" My voice shook ever so slightly with the question I'd just asked.

" Late this month or early April the actual due date is one the 2nd of April." He spoke with such certainty. I looked over at the calenderer and noticed today was in fact the 28th of March. Doesn't time just fly when your having fun or hiding depending on how you want to look at it.

" Thank you Dr Skye." I whispered into the phone

" Max what's with the sudden change of heart?" His voice was covered with a shyness I'd never heard before.

" I think the time has come and I just was ready to know and not when everyone else wanted me to ask." I'd been waiting for the right moment until I was ready just bidding my time until everything was clear as a white crystal.

" Goodbye Max."

" Yes and once again thanks."

I listened to the phone dial till I heard a knock on my door everything seemed so surreal like the existence of time seemed too small. I looked over and noticed Maggie standing there with a pleased look on her face.

" I take it you asked then." She spoke and sat on the floor next to me.

" Yep." I squeaked.

" So is it a boy or girl?" Maggie asked in a hurried manner.

" I'm going to have a baby girl." I squealed.

" You know what that means then don't you?" She demanded.

" Shopping." I spoke making it sound more like a question.

" You got it in one."

For a woman that hadn't even liked shopping when I'd first met her she's fair growing to the thing. I could see the sparkle in her eye as she thought about it I think I was beginning to rub off on her, which wasn't always a good thing. When I thought of a baby girl the only colour I could think of was pink, which was a good thing because it was one of my favourite colours at the moment.

It seems to be that that the truth hurts more than the lies and I couldn't think why but then it came to me we tell the lies to stop the ones we loving being hurt and don't think of them as lies just words that weren't telling the whole truth like when some one asks you what you think of their outfit and you comment on there hair which you then insist is part of their outfit when they give you that look.

I myself had to stop living this lie I had people believing I just walked off and fell off the ends of the earth but in fact I haven't even left New York. I looked over at my phone as it sat on top of the windowsill, maybe I should call Fang but what would I say. I watched the rain beat off the window like it was trying to climb its way in but the locks were keeping it out. It had to be done as my mother had once said you learn from the mistakes others make but in trying to learn from your own is like climbing a mountain and sometimes people try to turn a blind eye to there mistakes but some can't be hidden trust me but once climbed and fought you feel better for it and this was one battle I was going to complete even if it meant death. I don't mean like physical death that would be completely gutting if I died just now.

The phone was in my hand I don't even remember moving, I flipped it opened and noticed my hands were shaking I must be really nervous about this but it had to be done. The first couple of times it went into voicemail and I was too wimpy to leave a message so I sent him a text. I listened to the strum of the guitar in the background as I listened to some of my old pre-recorded stuff. Hearing it now makes me think of the house I left and a couple of the people I left behind like Ari, Ella and Jim but I think it was more the people that brought me comfort than the almost empty house.

Time seemed to stand still while I waited for Fang to reply; I had the nagging feeling at the back of my mind that he wouldn't reply but he did. So tomorrow at five I would see Fang once again I got butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it but I was doing the right thing after all didn't he have the right to know even if he didn't want anything to do with the baby at least he would know the truth.

I looked through my wardrobe and sighed it's a shame I'm going to have to bin all these dresses once I've had my little girl cause I don't think you'd get many people who want second hand dresses but you never know you always get someone and my shoes cause they got all stretched. Pregnancy blows if anybody asked if it's any good I'd say " There's no way in hell I'm going through that again."

I slipped into my pink Celine Swarovski dress hope it to hide my bump a little but there was very little chance of that happening and I slipped into my Christian Louboutin shoes.

I entered the lobby of my hotel and let out a sigh of relief this place felt like home to me. There was just that warm fuzzy feeling as the doorman opened the door and greeted me with a welcoming smile and bowed his hat. The music floated through the corridor as I approached the conference room that had been cleared to make room for me. The room held two chairs and a waiter just waiting on me to snap my fingers and ask for anything I desired; god I'd missed this way of living. How people live without help amazes me, I'm not lazy but I've just had someone there to help me like all the time no matter where and how or why it was just done. I remember when I was five and we'd got a new maid to help the other one who was kind of old and she'd run around the house getting anything I wanted this lasted for a whole year till Jim told her to stop but it was worth every minute of it.

I leaned over the front desk and smiled down at Emily; she hadn't been here last time I'd checked in but then again I hadn't been here in a while.

" Hi can I speak to Fraser please?" I just felt the need to ask to see him after all he is the manger but I needed to know what's been happening well I've been away.

" Can I have your name please?" She smiled down a t the computer.

" Sure. Max Ride."

I heard an audible gasp as she looked up and saw me. I don't know what she was expecting but I have a feeling it wasn't me. " Right away Miss." I was obviously on high priority now.

I walked into the room and notice Fraser swinging on the seat with his phone to his ear. He let out a small sigh and hung up the phone.

" Max good to see you again and you brought a nice surprise with you." He gestured towards my stomach and let out a low chuckle. " So who's the father then?" He questioned.

" Trust me you aren't the only one who got a surprise. Now I am here on a matter of business about getting my second room back." My voice was stern as I spoke.

" I'm sure I can help you there Max but you know as well as I do that you didn't sell that room you just put it in someone else name; it was a false trail you left behind to cover your disappearance when you left. Am I correct?" He smiled and took another sip of coffee by the smell of it.

" You found out then. You must admit it was a good idea wasn't it? Do you know who my room belongs to then yet?" I could tell by the look on his face he had no idea because he went deep into thought.

" No that was the only bit of the puzzle I couldn't fix. I searched file after file and all the people who were ever-frequent users never belonged to a room." Frustration flitted through his voice.

" So he never came then?" Sadness coated each of my words as I spoke maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe this whole thing was wrong

" No I'm so sorry but he never did but how would I've had know?" He asked

" You would have typed his name and I can assure you it would have come up saying that room 615 belonged to him and not me it would be like I never existed." Just like it was meant to be I thought to myself.

" Are you going to tell me who it is then?" He demanded.

" Why would I do that, that would take all the fun away now wouldn't it?"

I walked out the room and let out an angry sigh getting a few glared looks from the employees maybe times had changed there use to be a time were I could strike fear into them by just walking past them in my louboutin shoes.

I switched the lights off in the conference room I didn't feel like being on show for the time being. I felt like screaming just to stop the silence that was filling the hall this whole place just seemed to screw with my mind as the walls closed in roundabout me but I think that was due to the pressure I'd put my self under the past eight and a half months. Only Five minutes to go and he would be here. This would be the moment of truth. The rain slashed against the outside window maybe to day wasn't a good day to be telling someone this. I felt the panic build up in my chest as my breaths came out in sharp shallow streaks, my heart rate bet as though I'd had an adrenaline overdose and my heart was unable to cope.

I could see his face glance round the room as I sat in the corner acting as though nothing was out of the ordinary like walking into a dark room was completely normal no matter what any one else thought. His face a pale white as he took the seat across from me it was like he'd seen a ghost. Death Cab For Cutie played in the background as the lights where switched on and at that very moment I could see the realization hit him and I hadn't even uttered a word. He's smarter than I gave him credit for.

" Hi Fang." My voice was weak from my panic attack awhile back that had still taken me by surprise I hadn't had one of them since I was ten.

" Hi Max." He sounded so unsure of himself as he spoke these two words.

I didn't know what to say I seemed at lost for words, which was so unlike me, but at that very moment I felt no need to justify myself that everything was meant to be.

" So. I guess this is why you called me here then." His voice sounded so heart broken and I couldn't figure out why. He looked towards my small but swollen stomach. Maybe this had been a bad idea.

If I'd know that it would have of upset him so badly then I wouldn't have asked him to come here.

" I'm sorry Fang but I didn't know what else to do." I couldn't even look him in the eyes to tell him.

" Who's the father then?" His voice cracked on the last word like his whole world was about to fall out the sky.

I really I had no idea why he had to ask the question I thought it was quiet clear who the father was maybe I'd been wrong maybe that was why he looked so upset. He thought I'd been with someone else.

" You are." I watched as the sparkle in his eyes began to return and I guess mine reflected off of his.

" Honestly. How come you never told me? I could have help, you didn't think I would be that useless did you?" Anger covered his voice slightly at not being told but he was taking it very well if I'd told some of the other guys that I was knocked up they'd have of just walked out by now.

" I'm sorry, I really am but I didn't know what to do everything just seemed to happen so fast. I truly am sorry Fang." I leaned over and took his hand and gave it a light squeeze.

" Does anybody else know? Or is that why you done your little disappearing act nearly over a year ago well just under that but you know what I mean." He laughed like nothing in fact was going to change his life.

" Yes but just Angel and Nudge but there my best friends and also Angel figured it out by herself due to you. Fang the reason I asked you to come to day was to give you a choice since just taking a guess nobody wants to be told there going to be a dad at seventeen. Oh. Sorry I missed your birthday. I want you to know that I don't mind if you walk away and act as though this conversation never happened like you never met me here. " I handed him over a small black box with his present inside and smiled trying to hide the sadness that was washing over inside me.

" Max." He took me by the shoulders and shook me slightly to keep me focused. " Did you even think for one moment I'd just walk away and leave you like this? I may be young but I can guarantee I will not turn out like my father." He kissed me as though that was sealing the deal.

Tears cascaded down my face like a never breaking bank. This was eight months worth of tears falling from my tear ducts. " Thank- you. I've missed you so much while I've been away. Will your mum not kill you when she finds out about me?" I whispered. I t hadn't noticed till that very moment how much I missed him.

" She will but when she sees how happy I am she won't complain trust me and she'll be just as thrilled when she gets over the shock of being a gran as for my dad he doesn't matter the now. I promise Max I won't leave you I wasn't brought up that way." He voice lilted with such flow it was like a lullaby.

" I'm so sorry for messing up your life Fang." I cried.

" Max you have done very little to mess up my life apart from make me happy and we all do crazy things when you're in love." He spoke in such a loving manner it made my heart stop for a moment.

I couldn't stop my tears they just kept flowing.

" Do you know what you're going to have yet?" He asked with such urgency you would have thought the building was on fire but there was only excitement in his voice.

" I'm having a little girl but I have no idea what to call her." He was getting me excited now.

I watched him, as he seemed to go into autopilot. " Where we going to live? Clothes. Prams. Names… Everything. Paint." He spoke so quickly I missed a couple.

" Fang calm down we will figure it out ok you can relax just now I've still got a month to go."

" Sorry."

" Its ok but I'm kinda glad you're excited because your starting me off because telling you was the biggest worry I had."

" That was silly but I guess we don't know each other that well so that's another thing we'll have to do before our baby is born." He seemed to glow with pride as he said our baby.

" Relax. People are going to think you're high when you walk out this building."

" Sorry but I can't wait."

"I'm really glad I did this because now I know. And everything seems to just fit into place now like I've found the missing piece of my jigsaw." I looked over at Fang and all I could see was love in his eyes.

" I was the missing piece thanks." He whispered with such love that it made me giddy.

" I love you Fang."

" I love you Max."

We kissed slowly as I knew I wouldn't be able to see him during school time as he was still doing exams but next week was his last week. I'd still phone him and stuff but I was going to miss him and I wanted him to do well in school unlike me who hadn't even last three months there and it was his last year as he'd told me earlier on because once the baby was born he didn't want to miss anything. I think we are going to make a good family hopefully if that's what you could even call us.

So I'd been wrong oh well one down and one other to go.

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**A/N: I have a poll up on my page for the names of the baby and if you have anymore ideas for names just leave it in a review. I think I'll put the next chapter in Fangs POV.**


	21. only time can tell

**A/N:**** Hope you like it.**

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**Fangs POV**

I walked out the hotel deep in thought, I had no idea what was going on in my head right now it was like I was on fast forward but I didn't really want to leave Max again but I knew I had to. I had some really bad news well good news in this case but everything I had been told in that room just seemed so surreal like apart of me was going into shock.

I wonder if she'll come back now after the baby is born but I wouldn't know what to do if I was in her possession I guess it takes two to tango so I guess part of this was also my fault.

I sat down in my Porsche and let out a small sigh, if I thought about it and looked back on my life I would say that maybe I hadn't learnt from my past history because as the say goes 'history has a way of repeating its self' and maybe I just hadn't learnt from my mum and dads which sounds really bad but I'm only seventeen it's not like I can do much for the kid. Yes I may be sitting in school ready to go straight to university but what happens after that by the time I leave the kid would nearly be eight. I want to be a Doctor and help people but what about the two people I love more than life its self what's the pointing in help others if I can't help my soon to be family?

I stood in my hallway not moving and just staring at my mum as she shock me from my thoughts. Her eyes pleaded with mine to speak but my lips were sealed but something deep down told me that she needed to know.

" Fang are you ok? Do you want a seat?" She walked me towards the sitting room and sat me down like I was a toy doll.

" I'm ok." I let out a slow sigh. I must have been holding my breath.

" Are you sure? Is there something you want to tell me?"

She knew I was going to tell her something but I could tell by the worried look on her face she had no idea what. I wonder how she told her mum when she was expecting me? I had to do it.

" Your not doing drugs are you?" She asked

I let out a nervous laugh why does every mother ask that when you have to tell them something is it like a rule if a child ever has to tell you something they must be doing drugs.

" Remember the girl that went missing ages ago?" I asked looking down at the floor.

" Yes, Max wasn't it. Your sister looks up to her for some reason she never told me why but yes I know." Her face was now puzzled

" I saw her today at a place she owns." She never gave me a chance to finish

" She's still alive, that'll be such a relief to her parents. Sorry Fang continue." She smiled a small smile.

" There was something she had to tell me." I looked at her and she just looked even more confused than when I first walked through the door.

It was now or never now. " She's pregnant." I closed my eyes

There was a gasp and then a scream. " What the hell Fang? I thought you were smarter than that." Anger rushed through her voice.

" I…"

" Don't even say anything. Do you even know what your doing? In fact get out my sight I can't handle this just now."

I left the room and went up stairs. I guess it could have been worse but I really had no idea what to do. This was something I was going to have to learn but I was still mad at Max for not telling me almost disrespected but I knew it was because she didn't know me just like I didn't know her.

*******************Later on********************

There was a soft knock o my door.

" Fang I have no idea what to do with you but I know deep down you'll do the right thing. Lets not tell Tanya just now ok." The anger had subsided from her voice and now there was only worry.

" Thanks mum but I don't have a plan. I need help." I whispered. I hate asking for help.

" If she needs a place to stay for a while she can come here but I think it would be a good idea if she told her parents and please don't worry about not having a plan if you love each other it will all work out. Trust me I've been in your shoes while hers." She smiled. This is when I'm glad my mums still young.

"I think she's ok just now. I really hope this all works out I don't want to turn out like dad. Never caring about the destruction he leaves behind him."

" You'll never turn out like your dad you had me as a mum. While Max has been away you've been nothing but boring." She laughed but I could see how upset she was.

" I know but I just feel better when I'm around her, if you see what I mean." I hope she did because I didn't feel like explaining it.

" Just like Jerry and I, your dad and I were all wrong for each other but when something feels that right or when you find your significant other you should never want to let them go." She laughed and looked at her ring finger.

" I know."

I wish something in my life would just run normally instead of something changing my course of plan all the time but maybe that wasn't how my life was ever going to be.

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**A/N: What did you think? Tell me what you think by leaving a review. Hope you liked the chapter. I guess you all know what's going to be in the next chapter or do you? It was kinda short but I thought it would be good to have Fangs POV in it. Sorry I haven't updated in so long but I've been writing my other Fanfic- The Riders and The Ghosts, you should go check it out.**


	22. 1,2 lets wait on the 3rd

**Max's POV**

I flicked open the paper to see my mothers face peering back at me her smiled was lost and her eyes hid behind sunglass that were two sizes to big to fit her face. The paparazzi are just cruel twisted people who enjoy watching other people suffer. Ok I love to read all the mags but at the same time I pity the people that get told they're to fat or they're to thin or they're just wearing the wrong item of clothing at the wrong time.

I tried to avoid the paparazzi at all costs because I have better things in my life than to parade around in front of them flaunting off my wealth.

I let out a sharp breath as I read the head line:

**Daughter gone, Husband gone who else to leave the Ride household**

No my parents had no problems that's why they'd lasted so long, it's just a lie but my mum does look really upset in this picture and why's she not at work? How could my dad walk out on my mum and brother and sister did he have no heart. I've only been away for eight months and what they all have to fall to pieces as well. I was the screw up in this family and I was going to make sure it stayed that way nobody ever needs to do what I've done.

" Maggie I think its time I visited my mum." I yelled.

Fang jumped up in surprise and looked around. " Calm yourself Fang I'm just talking to Maggie." I smiled and watched as he went back to sleep.

I slipped out the room and headed to her study maybe she hadn't heard me.

" What brought on the sudden change?" She asked

" This."

I slapped the paper on her desk in rage and she shook her head in anger as she read more of it. Maggie knows my mum and dad just due to dealing with me a lot of the time.

" Max you know that's wrong people are probably just messing around and thought it'd be funny to something like that." She looked sad.

" But it said she's not going to work anymore what if I caused all this with my own stupidity it was in fact my fault my family's all screwed up?" My voice wavered at the end but what if it's true.

" Max pull yourself together just because you left doesn't mean your mother and father broke up so please stop blaming yourself." Her voice was strict reminding me of Jim when I use to tick him off.

" Thank you Maggie." I smiled but didn't feel any better.

" Now go get ready you can leave in an hour Ari and Ella will be home from school by then." She smiled and ushered me out the room.

I stood inside Tiffany & Co watching as they gift wrapped Ella's birthday present and that just left me with one more to get. I'd gotten my mum the ebony Gucci bag I already had one but mine was last years season. In had no idea what to get Ari and then it hit me. I knew this guy a while back who owned a racing track and said if I ever wanted a shot I was just to phone so Ari was going to be getting a Ferrari test drive. Now all that's out the way lets go and visit my family.

I knocked on the door then shook my head this was still my house no matter how long I've been away. I looked out towards the drive way and saw my Viper sitting there just waiting to be used again to bad I didn't have the keys anymore.

" Max." A small voice asked from behind me.

" Ella."

She ran forward and hugged me and then let out a squeal of surprise and looked at my stomach and then looked at me.

" You're going to be an aunt." It came out as a question I watched her emotions flit through her face.

" OMG. Max I can't believe you didn't tell us mums going to flip when she finds out you know that but I think she'll be happy now you're back. I still can't believe it. Is it a boy or a girl?" She sucked in the air about to launch in to another question.

" I'm going to have girl."

She let out another scream and began jumping up and down on the spot; I sometimes forget that she's younger than me.

" Oh I have to go get Jim stay right here." She demanded.

I could hear Jim being pushed along and then hearing his shocked gasp as he saw me standing there.

" Max." I could hear the smile about to show on his face but also here the sadness that was sneaking through.

I nodded my head.

He looked towards Ella and said. " Didn't I tell you all she'd come back?"

Ella nodded and let out a small giggle.

I laughed at least he wasn't shocked to see my but then again he'd had to put up with my strange behaviour since I could walk then talk.

" So how are you?" I asked.

" I'm good, I went to the school dance it was really good. Dad walked out by the way… painted my room, baked cakes." She laughed and acted like she hadn't said the middle part.

So it's true then well at least I'm here I have no idea how that's going to make it better but it's always worth a shot.

" That's good. Where's Ari?" I asked.

" He's in a mood cause he keepings losing a game he's playing on his PSP." She smiled and pointed through to the games room.

" Yep that sounds like Ari. Well if you can get him out of it I'll give you all your presents." I smiled and walked towards the games room.

She ran in front of me and in to the games room. " Ari guess who's here?" She yelped.

" No idea." His voice sounded bored.

" Max." She pulled him up as I reached the door.

" Hey Ari long time no see." I laughed but he nodded back.

I sat them both down and gave them there presents I might have been gone for a while but I think it's nice when on returning that you give a present to say sorry for the pain you've caused.

" Thanks Max." Ari answered.

" Max it's so nice thank you thank you very much." She gushed.

" I'm so glad you both liked them."

I walked out the room looking for Jim. He was standing outside looking at my car that was odd he only ever parked them for me. I always knew he wanted a car like mine but never bothered to get one.

" Don't think I forgot you." I smiled and handed over a small box.

" Thanks Max but why'd you do it? It just doesn't make sense your mum and dad wouldn't even have noticed." He looked sad but tried to hide the fact.

" Honest reason. I didn't want to have to tell you all and going to school would be near all impossible and it would just be another reason for both my parent to dislike me even more and I like to think I can deal with stuff on my own but it turns out I can't." I laughed trying to hide my pain.

" Fair point but your mum doesn't hate you far from it trust me, the amount of times I've had to deal with her sudden outbursts off emotions just proves that point I just wish you hadn't Max we've all missed you and would have tried to help you. Who's the father then?" His voice was much calmer now than from when we'd first started talking.

" Fang." I whispered.

" Thank you Max that's all I ask of you to be honest with me isn't that what we've been doing all these years?" He smiled and squeezed my arm gently.

" Yes now please open your present I want to know if you like it or not." I smiled an evil smile.

He opened the box up to find a set of keys. " A new car but why?"

" For all the times you've looked at mine and wanted one these are just mock up key so you just have to tell me what one you want and I'll get it for you."

" I can't except this Max it's far to much money."

" No it's not this is for looking after me and my crappy mood when I'm having a bad day so no is not an answer."

" Fine."

" Do you know when my mum will be home?"

" An hour from now."

" Thank you."

I went back inside lets hope it goes just as smooth as everything else has went this day but there's only one thing I can't get my head around nobody has brought up the fact that my dad has left well apart from Ella but she was just telling me nobody seems that sad that he's just up and left.

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A/N: Hope you liked it please review so I know what you think. I am also in a lot of pain and have been off school for a whole week and am going cazy due to it so I thought I'd update this story it now only has two chapters left and then that me finished. If there's anything that your unsure about just PM me or leave a review saying what it is and i'll try to clear it up before the end. So thanks for reading and hoped you liked it.

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	23. The full circle

Maxs POV

I sat on the sofa waiting for my mum to come home I felt as though I was walking on tender hooks just waiting to fall through the cracks but I knew if I made just one mistake there'd be no one to catch my fall. It would be like when Alice fell through the rabbit hole she knew she'd have to fall sometime but didn't know when. I listened as the front door was opened and my mother stepped in to the room.

I knew she hadn't been at work that much was clear by her clothing. I watched her face but couldn't read the emotions running through it. I watched in anticipation as she took the seat across from me this wasn't how I thought it would be but there' still time for it to go all horribly wrong.

I went to speak but she held up her hand. "Max can I tell you something I should have told you long ago and I think you're owed that much now but maybe your right and the damage has been done but I just want you to know the truth or why I done it all." She smiled but there was a darkness underneath it all so she knew about the damage she'd done as well interesting.

" Go on." I let out a slow breath I guess her news can't be as bad as mine or as surprising.

" You were a mistake at the time."

I stopped her before she could continue. " Glad to know." I spat.

" Max stop it I wasn't finished and you new it. You were a mistake at the time, I was young and wasn't able to look after you it scared me to have to look after another living soul. There where hundreds of what ifs flying round my head? As I guess it was the same with you but it changed as soon as your dad said he wanted to get rid of you I couldn't do. It wasn't fair I couldn't get rid of you no matter how much I wanted to exceed in my career. You came first so in the space of 2 weeks I'd gone from cursing you to loving you. I know it's no excuse but I left you with Jim because I knew you'd have a better chance in this life, you have one of the top paid people in the world to wait at your every need. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm glad I never got rid of you because if I had I would have looked back and thought my life was a waste of time. Money can cushion the blow but your family helps you back up and they don't leave you. I'm sorry for all the Birthdays and Christmas I missed I just wish it all could have been different." Her face was crossed with tears but I could see a smile begin to grow on her.

I thought over what my mum had just told me don't all family have their secrets but mine are pretty plain compared to some.

" Mum we mess up. Heck just look at our family as a whole we aren't perfect we're far from it actually and I thank you very much for keeping me. Dads an ass hole live with it he hasn't be right since well ever. I just wish you'd figured this all out sooner and maybe for a little while we could of played happy families but it wouldn't have lasted long. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused this family I didn't think I'd be missed that much. You get on so well with Ari and Ella and I feel left out like each time you and dad came round for dinner I felt like an outsider I have nothing in common with any of you."

I leant forward and hugged her. " Mum you'll just need to live with it but trust me it won't get any worse."

" Thank you. Now I want to hear about you so I can decided wither or not I want to kill you and right now I'm going with the latter of two." She laughed which for once in my life it made me feel good like I'd done something right once in my life.

" Where would you care for me to start?" I asked.

" From the start of course or the end it doesn't matter as long as I get to hear the whole story."

" Fair enough."

" There was this new guy in my school but there was something about him I found really annoying but insanely interesting at the same time…"

She had her hand up and I nodded.

" Would this be the father?" She asked genially curious.

" Yes now can I continue?" I laughed. " We started talking because he hung out with Iggy and the other guys which didn't bother me I just tend to ignore people until I want to talk to them. So we got in to an argument and we ended up kissing and I felt kinda bad about it, I don't why I'd never felt like it before but I just ignored it and carried on as though nothing had happened. Then we went to my all time favourite club and well one thing lead to another then you know the middle part of my story." I laughed but cut out the major part about my hotel rooms and all that jazz but that's need to know and well she didn't.

" Ok." She didn't seem fazed or surprised.

" And I've kinda come the full circle I started here and ended back up here isn't life just strange that way. Can I ask you a question?" I was just curious of one thing.

" How come you didn't freak out like any other mother would if they found out their daughter was pregnant?" I thought she would have been the worse.

" I've had a lot of time to think and I'm just glad your alive and I know you'll do the right thing I just wish you'd told me sooner. But I guess you needed time to reflect as did I so it makes us all that more wiser, wouldn't you agree?" She smiled and looked at my stomach.

" I do."

" Now may I ask a question?" She asked

I nodded my head already knowing what it would be.

" Who's the father?"

" I thought that would have been one of the first questions you asked. He's called Fang you'll need to meet him some time. I do kinda feel sorry for him he found out just a couple of weeks before you." He'd never been given the choice.

" You'll both be fine. Trust me." For the first time in my life I heard love covering each of her words.

" I do now."

She walked away with a smile on her face relieved to have most of her family back, well she'd have one new addition soon but it's strange from the moment we'd met I'd never got on with my mother but in the space of half an hour we've gone from hating each other to steady relationship between mother and daughter I wouldn't call us best friends yet but you never know time will tell.

It was nice to sit at the dinning table and know and enjoy the people's company well we all ate dinner I didn't feel so out of place anymore it's like something had just clicked in to place.

" I can't believe I' going to be a grandmother, it makes me feel so old." She laughed but didn't seem that worried.

" Heck you have it easy I'm going to be the mum." I laughed it was odd saying that out loud for others to hear.

Ella was practical jumping up and down in her seat with excitement with a huge grin on her face. " I can't wait till I can hold the baby." She giggled. She was obviously going to be the doting Aunt.

Ari just sat there not saying anything, which scared me a bit. I thought this family was fixing all its problems

" That was nice but I'm off to bed this day has been very strange and unexpected." I said goodnight to everyone had headed upstairs to my king-size bed and Egyptian cotton sheets.

I woke up startled from something in my dream but I had no idea what. I Stood up and felt a sharp pain go through my abdominal and then my feet were wet and I all I could think was not now.

I wanted to sleep a little more.

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**A/N:** Hope you all liked that chapter and please review cause I love to know what you all think. I'm now back in school and most of the pain has gone from my side so I'm really happy.


	24. Six hours of pain

**Maxs POV**

I wracked my brains unsure for whom to call for help. I had my mum just down the hall but she'd panic just like I was doing right now I needed someone who would help me and not make this worse than it already was. Jim I thought.

I dialled his number. " Max, are you ok?" He sounded worried.

" I'm so sorry Jim you're the only person I could think to call. I'm going into labour like right now and I didn't want to wake my mum." I whispered.

" It's ok Max, I'll be there in five minutes, now go and call Fang cause he might kill someone if he misses this." He didn't seem to be bothered that I woke him.

" Ok and sorry once again." I winced as I was hit by another contraction.

I packed my bag and one for my little girl and waddled my way down the stairs praying that no one would hear me. I took in a deep breath held it for ten then let it out trying to reduce the pain but it wasn't helping that much.

He opened the front door and took me to his car.

" Did you call him?" He asked.

" No! Sorry I'll do that right now." I was doing that a lot today.

His mobile rang five times and then he picked up his voice sounded groggy as he spoke. " Hello?"

" Fang its Max, Jim and I are on our way to the hospital right now. I'm going to have the baby now." I laughed at the thought of it.

" I'm on my way. Do you need anything?" He now sounded excited but terrified at the same time.

" I'm fine promise. Bye"

"Bye."

Lets hope all of this goes to plan because I can't cope with any more problems being introduced into my life. I tried breathing but it wasn't helping my nerves or my contractions.

I moaned trying to hide the pain.

" We're at the hospital Max."

I let out a sign but new the struggle was just starting I now had to give birth and for the sex ed classes I showed up for I knew it was not going to be pretty far from it actually.

Some one stood outside with a wheelchair. " You phoned ahead." I accused.

" Max, you're your mothers first priority just now. Do you think she'd let you go to any old place to have this baby? You will have the best of everything after all you are Mrs Ride child and being that you become top priority any way." He smiled.

" She knew I was in labour and did nothing?" I questioned.

" Not nothing she just knew you weren't ready for her to become your mother full time so she planned ahead and warned me that I would be the first person you'd call but I'd kind of guessed that already."

He spoke with such certainty in his voice that I hadn't realised I was in my own personal room and had people looking over at me with sadness in their eyes. I knew that look I'd seen it plenty of times when I'd been out with Fang. It was the look of 'that poor child what has she done.' And it made me sick to my stomach people always assume the worse.

The door swung open and in came Fang looking like a deer caught in headlights. " Have I missed it?" He asked.

" No Fang you're just in time." He came over and gave me a light hug and a kiss on the forehead.

" My mum knows I'm here she gave me a lift I was a tad bit jumpy to drive or sit at traffic lights." He laughed but as I watched him now I could see what he meant.

" Fang you seem more worked up than me and all you have to do is watch and hold my hand." I stifled a scream as another contraction hit me.

I looked over at the clock checking the time it was three am I'd been here for an hour and a half already. The contractions were every three and a half minutes; it wouldn't be long now till they got ten times worse and I was not looking forward to that minute.

I plugged my I-pod in to its stand to block out the noise roundabout me; I could hear my heart race as the adrenalin pumped round my body but at the same time my whole body was on alert.

I winced as the contraction hit me again and this time they were only ten seconds apart. The Doctor came in and then midwife, they both looked like happy people so hopefully this wouldn't be too bad. I felt the painkillers kick in as the pain was slowly ebbed but I was told they didn't take the full pain away when giving birth.

" You ready Max?" The midwife asked from the front of me.

" As ready as can be." I answered.

Fang took my hand and gave it a light-reassuring squeeze and at that moment I knew it was all going to be ok. I can say that not many people my age would be lucky enough to have someone as loving as Fang by there side while giving birth. Jim stood outside my room on the phone to someone but I couldn't hear what he was saying.

" I need you to push now." The midwife ordered.

I did this repeatedly for the next six hours and I must say they were the six most agonizing moments in my life and all that time Fang was at my side whispering calming thoughts in my ear.

At 10:12am our little girl was born but I was exhausted and pasted out before I could see her but I knew she would be safe with Fang he had my full confidence.

When I woke up she wasn't there. I panicked for a moment but the nurse saw me and pointed down the hall. I quickly fled the room looking down the hall. Fang stood in the hall walking her back and forwards. It truly was a magnificent site.

" Fang." I called.

He turned round and headed towards me. He looked so thrilled like a moment of ecstasy but at the same time he seemed to be very careful with each step he took. She was sound asleep as he gently slid her back in to her cot.

" I'm sorry for everything I have done Fang. I know I should have told you but I couldn't bring myself to do so." I whispered as a tear slipped down my check.

" We all make mistakes and judgements that are wrong at the time but there's no point on dwelling in the past and I don't mind that you've changed my life forever. It's not like anything else exciting was happening." He answered back.

" That's not what I heard." He looked confused. " You mum and Jerry getting married I'd say that was a big and exciting thing."

" True but right now you and the baby are the most important people in my life." He smiled and kissed my check where I had been crying.

" Thank-you." I whispered scared that this moment would disappear.

" No problems." He whispered backed.

" Did you have any ideas for a names for our little girl?" I asked.

" Just a few but none of them really stuck." He sighed.

I looked into her eyes watching me. I couldn't believe anything at the moment scared that someone would take it away from me. She reflected my own smile it was like a copycat motion. I didn't feel alone any more it was like this small enfant had washed all my troubles away but I knew as soon as I step out the hospital doors the whole world would know why I had disappeared for eight months.

" It'll be fine Max, I promise." Fang stood by my side.

" Now, now don't make promises you can't keep because you won't like the outcome of it." I laughed but it sounded kind of manic.

" You'll just have to trust me then."

" True."

I was trying really hard not to run screaming from this situation but I couldn't help myself but I carried on looking at my baby and knew I had someone else to look after now. I had more important issues to deal with.

" Little one you're in for a big shock once you meet the rest of my family you'll be wishing to be anywhere in the world but where you are."

She didn't make a sound because she was fast asleep. I laughed; aren't you lucky to be to do that. I tucked her more securely into the baby seat scared she'd slip out if I didn't.

" Come on Max. Jim's waiting outside." Fangs voice was reassuring to hear even though we'd spoken only seconds ago.

" I know. What car do you think he brought?" I was hoping he'd brought my Audi cause I knew that had four seats.

" No idea Max. Every time we meet you seem to have a different car." He laughed but I knew it was true.

I stepped outside the hospital doors and took a deep breath in. I'd only been in the place 24 hours and already the cleaning chemical smells had taken over. Coming outside was like a giant sigh of relief. And there in front of me was the brand new Mercedes. I let out a momentary squeal then ordering myself to be quiet so I didn't wake the baby.

Out stepped Jim. " I'd heard from a little bird that you'd been dying to get your hands on this." He smiled and tossed me the keys; which I might say I caught with one hand.

" Thank- you, thank- you. This would have to be one of the best days of my life. I can't begin to thank you enough Jim." I went over to hug.

" It's not me you should be thanking." He looked towards Fang.

" You didn't? Did you?"

He nodded his head. " I thought it would make up for missing most of you pregnancy."

" You didn't have to do that. It was my fault you missed it and as usual I had to mess it up."

" I know but I wanted to. Now lets get the both of you home so our mums can meet her." He looked absolutely over the moon at the thought of this.

" Ok. Jim would you care for a lift?" I asked

" If that is ok Mam."

" Just cause I have a child doesn't make me my mother now call me Max and it's no problems at all."

" I know but some habits are hard to break miss."

I drove into the driveway and saw the 'Welcome home' banner and there at the door stood my mother and my brother and sister and another women who I could only assume to be Fangs mother and his sister Tanya and Angel and Nudge.

Nobody would have guessed that a couple of years ago this family was broken beyond repair but who would have thought I would be the one to fix half of it's problems. I know my dad wasn't there but at this very moment in time or should I say for my whole life Jim had been more of a father than any other man in my life.

I Just hope now that my little girl can have more of a father as in biological father than I did.

I got out the car and held the baby in the baby seat, this was the moment of truth I was about to meet Fangs mother and I wasn't exactly bearing the best gift in the world.

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A/N: Hey haven't updated in awhile but if you've been reading my other story 'The Riders and The Ghosts' Then you will know I've been ill for a while but I'm now much better. Please review and comment to let me know what you think and don't forget to vote on my poll so the Baby can have a name.


	25. The name shall be

I got out the car and held the baby in the baby seat, this was the moment of truth I was about to meet Fangs mother and I wasn't exactly bearing the best gift in the world. I took a hesitant step towards the front door, well it's not like I could spring anything else on any one in my family right now.

I looked towards my family each as individuals instead of a whole.

Ella looked about ready to burst with anticipation as she watched from the front door it's weird because a couple of months ago I wouldn't have been caught dead thinking about any of them because I thought they were all against me.

My mum looked pleased to have most of her family back but my dads an asshole so I won't be waiting for him to show his face anytime soon. I truly am sorry for what I did to my family while I was way I thought they'd just carry on as normal because I wasn't that big apart of their life. Guess I was wrong.

Ari was busy playing his Psp to notice the change of emotion around everyone else, there's something wrong with him but I can't seem to place it.

I glanced over at Fang and smiled a little. " Well let's get this over with then." I sighed kind of feeling bad about bringing Fang into my twisted family life.

" Lead the way then." He said.

No time like the present I thought. Have you ever hyped yourself up for something so much that when the time comes your mind goes completely blank?

Ella squealed bringing me back from my slight panic.

" Awww. She's so cute." Ella spoke.

" Please keep your voice down she's fast asleep." I warned in a motherly tone. Never thought the world motherly would be used in my vocabulary.

" Sorry." She faked whispered.

" It's ok." I laughed and gave her a one handed hug.

It's weird I have no problem talking to my younger sister but when it comes to my mum she… well I don't really know but if you get what I mean it just seems as though something hasn't really clicked.

I let out a slow even breath. " Mum." I smiled still a little unsure of what to do.

She leaned over and hugged me and I gasped. See what I mean. I keep getting myself so worked up that I forget how to function. " I take it everything went ok since they let you out early?"

" Everything went to plan unlike the rest of my life." I laughed at my own joke how sad. I really need to get out more.

" Now Max." She warned.

" Chill it was a joke."

I watched as she became a little more relaxed at times like this you could tell my mother and I where related.

I waved at Ari and he nodded back. Nice to know I get acknowledged.

My mother took the baby from my hands and I felt almost empty, that was odd.

Fangs mother looked at me and smiled. " Hello Max. It's a pleasure to finally meet you after hearing so much."

" Only good things I hope." I laughed at the ironic part of that sentence meeting someone for the first time and meeting their grandchild at the same time at my age isn't exactly the best news in the world.

" Dear don't worry about it you have more important matters now." She laughed a very gently laugh it was like a mirror version of Fang.

" Thank-You." I smiled.

We sat in the lounge casually eating lunch but I could see a couple of people desperately wanting to ask questions.

Ella was practically jumping up and down in her seat.

" Ask the question Ella?" I said.

" What's her name?"

I wanted to laugh considering no one else had asked me that question and I thought that would be the first one.

" She is named Zoë Nikki Ride." I smiled. The name suits her perfectly.

I saw the look of surprise on Fang and his mums face. Fang and I had only ever talked first names but I thought her middle name was a good reminder for her and me that family was important. After all she was named after Grandmother. Nikki I had only ever heard Fang mention his mother's name a couple of time's and it just seemed to stick with me.

" Thank you." Fang whispered from beside me.

Maybe for once I'd done something right and it felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. If only it could stay like this all the time, no more mishaps, no more unexpected surprises lurking around every corner.

I looked around the room and wondering how so much can change in a matter of months. And wondering if it had been my fault all along that the reason my parents worked so much was because of the way I pissed a round with my life so much.

The rest of the day was a blur. There was a lot of cooing over Zoë. She must have been passed around the living room a hundred times. So by the time the evening came she was hardly a hassle to put down.

Fang and I sat in my room watching Zoë sleep. It was one of the most amazing sights in the worlds like everything had finally slotted in to place and nothing was ever going to fall back out. And even if it were I was willing to fight for it to stop nothing would get in my way of a happy life.

I wanted this to work; Fang and I, my family, Zoë and I but most of all I wanted everything to work.

" I love you." Fang whispered just before I fell asleep.

" I love you to" I whispered not sure if I was meant to hear his last thoughts before going to bed.

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**A/N**: Really, really, really sorry for not updating but I had eight exams to study for which meant little time for updates unless I'd already written them which I hadn't for this one. It's all over now though thank God and I passed all my exams with the highest grade possible.

Much to my parent's surprise. Now I have to get ready for my Highers my whole life just seems to be one big exam to be honest. Hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I thought the ending of this story was sweet. I might put an epilogue out next week. Please review and tell me what you think and how my writing can get better and also a big thanks to everyone who's reviewed and done my polls.


	26. Epilogue

**Five years time from here**

**Never thought I'd live to see the day**

Maxs POV

I couldn't believe the day had finally arrived not that I'd been counting down or anything. I laughed getting a strange look from Angel and Nudge.

" What I can't be happy on one of the most important days of my life?" I asked.

" You can but I still can't believe you actually said yes I never pictured you for this sort of thing." Nudge said.

" I know but things had to change."

Ten more minutes I thought to myself and I would be one of the happiest women in the world and nothing was going to stop that. Unless he didn't show up but he wouldn't do that would he?

" Mummy, mummy are you ready yet?" Zoë asked swinging her legs gently back and forward. She looked absolutely gorgeous in her flower girls dress.

" Please give me a minute." I smiled trying not to lose my patience. Trust me until you're a mother you never understand the true meaning of patience.

" Ok."

Considering she was Fang and I's daughter she was very well behaved not that I'd let her turn out any other way but sometimes I do wonder. Her perfectly curled blonde hair wrapped neatly in to a bun was threatening to sneak it's way back out again that was all the resemblance she got to me the rest of her looks like Fang and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

" It's time." Angel whispered. Shaking me from my thoughts.

" Ok lead the way then."

As I took my first step down the aisle I heard Pacabel's cannon in D start to play one of my favourite songs in the world. I felt everyone turn to stare but I just focused on Fangs face as I made my way to him and the Minster. He looked absolutely stunning in his black tuxedo and also looked like the happiest man in the world.

Well that's one thing to stop worrying about he actually wants to be here. I always wondered if Fang just asked me because he thought that was the right thing to do or because he wanted to and at this moment in time I had no doubt which one I'd go with.

I remember saying "I do" but the rest of it was a blur like watching something in slow motion but it's to slow to really comprehend.

Zoë looked really happy as she danced round the room with her dad. This all had to work didn't it?

We weren't teenagers anymore and I'd already had the strangest teenage years due to disappearing dad's never to be seen again but maybe that was a good thing and bringing up a child while trying to pass my finals.

Fang took me to the dance floor for the final dance of the evening. " I can't believe this day is actually over." He smiled in a doting manner.

" Me neither." I whispered in his ear but he could hear the doubt in my voice.

" What's wrong?" He asked looking me straight in the eyes.

" Are you sure you made the right choice? After all we're only twenty-one." I looked away scared to meet his confused look.

" Trust me. If I had never meet you my life it would have been boring and predictable but with you it's everything but and you have no idea how much that means to."

I nodded but still looked away.

He turned my face to face him giving me no choice but to look. " I love you Max both of you." He said as Zoë approached " And I don't think I'll ever be able to stop so stop worrying please."

He kissed me gently on the lips. " I love you to. Sorry for doubting you."

" It's ok we've been through a lot it would take a lot to stop us from working promise." He smiled the most genuine smile in the world.

As I lay awake that night I thought about my life different things I've learnt but the most important thing I'd learnt from this chapter in my life is that stupid mistakes lead to a broken heart and should be fixed as soon as possible and don't let anyone tell you different.

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A/N: Well there you go that's the story done thought about doing a sequel from Zoë's POV and Max and Fangs. Kind of had a good idea but let me know what you think? Do you think I should do a sequel or leave it were it is cause I can't decide. Please review and tell me what you think cause I love knowing what you all think.  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed this story and took part in my poll's when I got stuck for names. Thank- you.


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